Chapter 195 Guest

• I stayed in my room long after Sargis had gone to sort some things out, only after making sure I ate, as if forcing food into me could shield me from the ache pressing behind my ribs. His absence left behind a silence so thick it almost rang in my ears, a hollow that deepened the longer I sat in it.
• I wandered from one corner of the room to the next without purpose, desperate to keep the walls from closing in, trailing my fingers along the carved bedposts, the smooth edge of the vanity, and the cool marble near the window. Each surface was grounding, but none of them could anchor the storm inside me. Eventually, I sank back onto the bed, burying my face in the covers until the scent of cedar and faint smoke filled my lungs.
• I shuffled off the bed again, pulled a brush through my hair until the bristles snagged painfully, then dropped it back onto the vanity with a muted thud. I opened one of the lesson books Avaline had pressed into my hands, hoping structure would anchor me, but the words swam on the page, blurring together until the sentences lost meaning.