Chapter 9

• I've replayed this conversation in my head many times. And that's what they are, they complement each other, like two halves of a whole. They were meant to be together, so that meeting was the beginning of a new phase in their relationship. Aaron left the band because it was impossible to give up drugs without giving up music. Next came the clinic and two major breakdowns, they were on the verge of breaking up again, but overcame it all. Their relationship is deeper and stronger than what I've seen in other couples. So why am I in it? Sometimes this question hovered over my head in an oppressive gray cloud, completely blocking out the sun. I tried to push it away. I couldn't find the answers now, they would come later. I just told myself to calm down and be patient.
• Honestly, I've been longing for them all four days, I wanted to dive back into a carefree weekend with them, me and our bed. And then, when my day off was so close, Aaron texted me to say they're still in another city. Everything inside was screaming with frustration, so much planning and all down the drain. I waited for more messages, but no more details came: no city name, no client name, no level of danger that might await them, no timeline for when they'd be back. As they drove me home, I tried to ask about the details of the job, but they made it clear that this was the client's private information and they were not at liberty to divulge it. Was this what our relationship is going to be like? I won't know where they are, who they're with, or when they'll be back?
• It was infuriating!