Chapter 6 5

• PERCIE
• Fifteen months ago…
• “I knew what you have, Emma. I knew about your condition. Why can’t you blame me? Yell at me or hate me? It makes me guiltier. Why do you have to be so cool about this?” I shook my head and stood up from her bed. I scratched my head out of frustration.
• “You sound okay with this. I hate seeing you like this. It’s killing me, Emma. Tell me why it’s so easy for you to accept all of these?” My voice rose a little.
• Her lips quivered. Jesus. Nothing in this world I did right. I settled beside her again as I dwelled my own agony.
• “I’m sorry, Em. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to put myself in this situation. I don’t even know what to do with myself without you. I don’t mean to yell at you. I’m just so frustrated and lost that I am so useless to you.” I kissed her forehead. ”Emma, I love you. I would do anything if given a chance to be in your position. I want you to walk again, Em.”
• “Perce, I love you too. Please, stop blaming yourself. I needed to accept this, Perce. It happened. Nothing’s gonna change this. I have to move forward and forget about the grudge. I may stay in a wheelchair, but most paraplegic people like me have survived and lived longer. I can still go to college or take online classes. I can still function, although I have to work with my wheelchair and stay seated. I just need some skills on how to function on daily living.”
• I looked at her in the eyes, searching for sadness or grief in there. All I saw was the same Emma before the accident. The more I got the fact that she had accepted everything so quickly, the more I wanted to hurt myself.
• “I’m here, Emma. I’ll help you with everything I can. I will never leave you. We’ll stick together like before,” I reassured her.
• “No, Perce. You have to go to college at Hillston. We can still talk every day over the phone. In the meantime, I need to stay here for a while until I can function alone by myself.”
• I shook my head. “No, Em. We stick together. I will stay here and help you every day. End of discussion. I will attend college, but not this year. Let me at least help you, Emma. Please?”
• “Perce, No! You won’t gonna stop because of me. Go to college, or I’ll never talk to you again. Mom and Dad have arranged a rehab facility for me until I can function on my own. I’ll be fine there. When I’m ready, that’s the time I will attend college with you. Promise me, Percival? Promise me you’ll go to college this year?”
• I slumped myself into the chair and blew a huge breath.
• She was so stubborn.
• “You can help me later when I’m done in rehab. That’s a promise. You can still come and see me every weekend if you want to.”
• It didn’t make me feel any better. I looked at her in disbelief, but I had no choice but to agree with her.
• She may not be able to walk again, but I wanted her to enjoy her life after the rehab. This was one way to help her. If I would stop her, it was like I was holding her life.
• “I promise, Emma. I’ll visit you every weekend, even every day for as long as I can.” I held her hand.
• She squeezed it and smiled at me. “Thank you for doing this to me, Perce.”
• “I love you, Emma Peyton.”
• I left her room when she finally fell asleep. I had to enroll in Hillston. I had an acceptance letter from them. I had to do what I promised Emma.
• ***
• I stayed in my room when I got home from the hospital. Emma would be transferred to a rehab center in Jefferson, an hour ride to Hillston. I could see her often when I started college. I could already feel my heart soaring with hope.
• My bedroom door flew open. Mom was standing with a furious look. Her hands were on her hips.
• I sat up in bed.
• “What the hell are you doing here? How dare you visit her in the hospital? The moment you brought her into that hospital bed, you lost your right to visit her. I will call the police to drag you out if you will plan on seeing her again, Percival!”
• “You can’t do that.”
• “You already stole her life away from her. You threw her dreams away. Don’t you have a conscience in your heart?” Her voice pierced in my ears, stabbed my chest, which brought me back to the night of the accident. I had to blink to push back that memory behind my mind.
• “Don’t do this to me, Mom. You already forbid me for days. Do you think I planned that accident? It hurts to see her just lying in that bed while I’m here sitting free. If you care for her, I care a lot for her too.”
• “Get out of my house! I don’t wanna see your face again. I don’t care if you sleep in the street or take drugs or die in hunger. Just get out of my house. I want you gone when I’m back!” She dashed out, slamming the door behind her.
• I stared transfixed, even if she was already gone. I didn’t even realize I was already crying until my tears already fell from my eyes. My world just turned upside down. I didn’t know what to do this time.
• I was so lost.
• I wasn’t allowed to see Emma again. Mom just kicked me out of my home.
• I packed up all my essentials, including my PS5, laptop, iPad, books, and sketches. I carried them with me and placed the boxes in the back seat and my bags in Dad's car compartment.
• I still have little money left in my account. I could stay in a motel for a few days. Then what? I couldn’t even afford to rent an apartment.
• Grandpa was the last option I had.
• Shaking, I drove away to Berkeley, two hours from home. I was sweating. The image of that accident kept rushing back in my head.
• I couldn't lose focus. I couldn't let what happened control my life. I needed to do this for Emma.
• My stomach grumbled, reminding me that I only had my breakfast. The red neon logo of May’s Diner came to view. I parked the car and hopped out. I took a deep breath and pushed the door open of the diner.
• The smell of coffee and greasy food hit my nostrils. I sat on an empty table beside the wall size glass window. I ordered a large soda, cheese sticks, onion rings, large fries, and burger.
• I fished out my phone and dialed Grandpa’s number. He picked up immediately. Maybe he was scanning on the phone when I dial. Grandpa had been busy lately with his new Twitter account.
• “Hello, Grandpa. Can we talk?”
• “Percival, how are you doing, boy? How’s Emma? I didn’t get to see both of you again. From what I heard from your father, she’ll be in rehab soon.”
• My heart stopped beating. I couldn’t let Mom stop me from seeing Emma. She already kicked me out. What more damage she could do to me? Emma was all I had left.
• If they had the right to stop me, I had the right to stop them too. Emma was an adult. They couldn’t control her anymore.
• “Yeah, about that Grandpa.” I bit my bottom lip when my emotion clutched my chest. “Mom kicked me out of the house. She warned me not to see Emma again. And Emma will be transferred to Rehab facility at Jefferson’s.”
• “Oh, boy. I’m sorry to hear that.”
• “I need your help, Grandpa. I need a place to stay for a while. I need to find a job to rent an apartment and buy a car. I don’t even know how to pay my tuition, but I already promised Emma that I would go to college. Then everything started falling apart.” The hot prick of tears stung my eyes. My throat was so tight I could barely continue talking.
• “Percival, don’t worry about everything. I will help you. And you will come with me when I visit her. I can get you an apartment, Percival. Why are you even overthinking about it? If you will attend Hillston this semester, I got your back, son. Tuition is not a problem. As long as you keep your head straight. Let me take care of you. Now get your ass over here.”
• “Thank you, Grandpa. Be there soon.” I hang up the call.
• For the first time in eighteen days, I smiled and sighed with gratitude. Grandpa and Grandma were in Berkeley.