Chapter 5 Panic Attack On The Dancefloor

• “Wow, so you just came back yesterday?”
• “Yeah and you know Jay. We're out in a club the next night…and probably more nights too.” My cheeks hurt from smiling, but I couldn't stop. I was genuinely happy to see him.
• “So, how has it been with you?” I blushed at the way he stared at me. No guy had ever looked at me the way he does. I always liked Isreal, might have a crush on him if I wasn't so hung up on Jake.
• Forget Jake!
• “I'm an interior decorator now. I’ve had a few obstacles, but there's been a lot of growth.”
• “Yeah, Jake told me.”
• “He did?”
• “Yeah. He’s very impressed about how far you’ve gone on your own.” I grinned and gave a little victory dance. The fact that I wanted him to have a good impression of me still shocked me.
• “We're working together on a project. It would really shoot me up the ladder.”
• “That's good, D. I never doubted how much you far you could go.” I was so surprised at the sincerity in his eyes. He had believed in me.
• “What about your Luxury?” One of the things Jake had in common with Israel was coming from a very wealthy home. They were both handsome jocks, every girl's dream and the sole heirs to their parents’ company. It wasn't a surprise they were best friends.
• “We're at the top fifty best jewelers in the world. That's got to be some sort of growth.” He shrugged like it was something normal but I knew deep down that he was pining for my approval.
• “A toast to growth.” I raised my juice glass, dispelling any nervousness.
• “You still don't drink alcohol?”
• “You remembered?” My eyebrows shot in the air as he regarded me with a hooded expression.
• “Of course. That was the excuse you used the most to get out of attending parties.”
• “Parties that only you invited me to. Only you wanted me to be there for fun and not to make fun of me.” I hated myself for letting my emotions show as the tears threatened to spill. This wasn't what I wanted. I was supposed to be this strict feminist who was in control of myself.
• “Dee…” I looked up to see Isaac's face a few inches from mine as he held my chin. Way too close. I could feel a lot of thoughts running through my mind as he drew closer.
• Isaac Smith wants to kiss me!
• “You guys aren't done getting the drinks?”
• One thing was very clear now.
• I hate Jake Miller.
• Isaac drew back, his eyes filled with the promise to continue later. This time I couldn't outrun him. I turned towards the devil that interrupted our moment.
• “No, we’re just starting.” I purred.
• There was an unreadable expression on his face as he regarded us.
• “Why aren't you on the dancefloor, man? I can see quite a few chicks waiting for you there.” Jake and Israel held their gaze for a while before he answered gruffly.
• “I will dance if she will dance.”
• I spilled my drink in surprise, turning to him with wide eyes.
• “Hey! Don't get ahead of yourself. I’m not asking you for a dance, I would rather suck off that old dude there.”
• Typical Jake.
• “Alright then. What do you say to a dance, Dee?” Jake looked as surprised as me and suddenly marched out, towards the restroom.
• “What's wrong with him?”
• “Who cares?” Isaac shrugged.
• “Well…the dance?”
• “Of course.” I beamed as he held me, leading me to the dancefloor.
• My heart beat fast as we got to the floor.
• I was a terrible dancer. Scratch that—I didn't know shit about dancing.
• “Um…Iz, I think you should know—”
• “You can't dance,” he whispered into my ear, pulling me towards him. I gasped as I felt a bulge pressing into my butt.
• “Guess what, Dee. I don't care.” My heart warmed but deep down, it felt so wrong. I moved my waist and he groaned and still steered me gently to the beats but I had never felt so uncomfortable.
• “Loosen up, Dee. It's me.” He whispered and pressed a kiss to my neck. I could feel someone burning holes at us and I looked to see Jake seething, watching us with his glass of vodka. I should be enjoying myself, taunting him, but it felt all wrong.
• I couldn't breathe or think, I just wanted to leave. To be alone. There were just too many people. Too much noise. Too much of everything.
• I could feel the walls closing in on me and people blurred before me, everything a mix of colors that hurt my head badly.
• Suddenly, a familiar hand dragged me away from Isaac.
• “Dude, what the—”
• “She's having a panic attack and all you can think is to rub your groin all over her!”
• It was Jake.
• There were a lot of voices, but I let him pull me away and everything passed in a blur until I felt the cool breeze whip around my face.
• My breath came in short gasps as I stared at the dark sky, the tears running down.
• Miserable wench!
• Pathetic creature!
• You're disgusting!
• What is that on her face?
• I noticed Jake taking off his jacket, spreading it on the slab, and making me sit on it. I was grateful for that cause there were too many germs flying around.
• “Breathe, Danny.”
• I clung to the sound of his voice as the other voices echoed in my head.
• “Should I call an ambulance?” Iz asked, I could hear the guilt in his voice.
• “What do you need an ambulance for? It's just a panic attack.” Clara countered.
• “So, what are we gonna do?”
• “Make her breathe—”
• “Can you two just stop?” Jake roared as he held me in his arms, rubbing small circles on my back.
• Just like the old days.
• “Come on Dee!”
• “Just breathe okay?”
• Too much voices
• I could still hear Victoria's voice in my head.
• Why would Jake choose you over me? Have you seen yourself?
• “Stop this shit or I swear, I'm gonna throw you down this balcony and you never get that revenge on me!”
• Everywhere was silent and I felt my breath returning in short breaths. Only Mom and Jake could handle my panic attacks. No one else.
• Clara was holding on to Isaac, trying to look nonchalant, but I could see the fear in her eyes. Israel looked like he wanted to fall on a sword.
• “Hey! How many fingers am I holding up?” My bossy doctor asked.
• “Three,” I said weakly.
• Clara sighed in relief, wiping away her hidden tears.
• I turned to see Jake staring at me angrily. As expected.
• “You're out of luck, Miller. I'm not dead yet.”
• “You won't survive next time. I will make sure of it.” He muttered and that was when I knew I was okay.