Chapter 8

• Kate's POV
• After Jayden left, the silence in the room was deafening. I remained standing in the living room. My mind was filled with thoughts of everything that had just happened. The kiss, the conversation, the tension between us. But as I tried to take my mind off it to focus on Jayden, my mind drifted back to the past.
• I grabbed the glass of wine I had left on the counter, my hand trembling slightly as I took a sip. The taste tightening the knot that was forming in my stomach.
• ‘What am I doing?’ I asked myself, the question repeating itself in my mind over and over. This is not the way it was supposed to be.
• Ever since my divorce from Michael, nothing had been the same. I had tried to fill the gaps with other men, with fleeting connections that in the grand scheme of things meant nothing at all. But none of them had been able to replace what I had lost. Michael had been my world for so long, and when that world had collapsed, I had been left trying to pick up the pieces, not quite managing to make them fit again.
• But it wasn't just the physical absence. It was the emotional one—the companionship, the trust, the shared dreams. I had tried for so long to tell myself I could get it somewhere else, but every man I'd tried to fill that void with only served to make it more obvious that no one else measured up to Michael.
• And yet, here I was, being ripped in a perilous tug-of-war between two best friends. Jayden… he was everything I thought I needed. Loving, caring, something I hadn't seen in years. But no matter how hard I tried to convince myself, I knew it was only a temporary thing—something to distract me away from the bigger picture.
• It was not even Jayden I wanted, not really. No, it was what I thought he could provide for me. Something Michael, in the end, had not been capable of giving. But now I doubt everything. Was this the right decision? Was it worth losing the small amount of peace I had left?
• I looked down at my phone. Michael's name was still in my contacts, a memory of my past that I could not bring myself to delete. I had not spoken to him in years. I knew he was hurting, I knew he was in pain, one caused by my betrayal.
• Maybe I didn't require closure. Maybe I needed a second chance.
• I thought about the way he looks at me, the way he cared about me, but that was a long time ago. Something in me misses him in ways that I couldn't understand.
• I thought about it, The past was a mess. I knew that much. But maybe, if I call him or send a text, it can be the start of something.
• I took my phone from the counter, my heart beating fast against my chest. I knew I was taking a risk, but I wasn't sure if it was the right one. But I know I can't do this anymore. I can't keep pretending as if everything was fine.
• So I started typing the message.
• “Hi, it's me, Kate. I know it's been a long time, and I heard you are back in town. I've actually been thinking about us. I know I screwed up badly, and I don't even know what to expect from you with this text, but I really need to talk to you. Please, can we meet?”
• I stared at the message for a while, It was simple, but the weight of it seemed to be heavy.
• Finally, I hit send.
• I stared at the screen of my phone, waiting for his reply. At one point, I thought about deleting the message. But it's too late for that. There was no turning back now.
• I drop my phone on the kitchen counter and went back and forth inside the room, my mind was racing with different thoughts. But I couldn't help but think of him, of the life we once had, the love we had shared, and the mess I had made of it all. The more I thought about it, the more I realized how much I missed him. Maybe if I had been more careful, it wouldn't have ended the way it did.
• After a few minutes, I was growing impatient. I couldn't keep calm. I was anxious, but I also had this strange sense of hope.
• Then, as I was trying to reach for my phone to check for a reply, the phone buzzed with a message. A text from Michael. He replied.
• My heart was stuck.
• “I got your message, but I believe we have nothing to talk about. You made your choice… Live with it."
• I went through the words, trying to understand them. My hands were shaking as I read it the second time, just to make sure I hadn't misread anything. I wasn't expecting him to give me a chance after betraying his trust, but I had hoped, for the sake of the love we once shared, he might consider it.
• I knew it would not be easy to get him to see me, it could even make matters worse if we met. But I was prepared for it. Maybe it was the only way to make amends with myself.
• I took a breath and sent him a reply.
• “Please, Micheal, I just want to talk. I'm not asking to be back into your life… I just need closure.” I know that was a lie, but I will try anything to get him to see me.
• He replied almost immediately, “Fine, let’s meet at the old spot Tomorrow.”
• I dropped my phone and stood there for a while, thinking of what my next move would be. Tomorrow, I would have to visit the man I loved more than anything else. The man I had lost. And maybe I could attempt to fit the pieces of my shattered self back together.
• And with that, I had stepped into something I wasn't sure I was ready for. The future suddenly was uncertain, yet I had no choice but to wait and see where this road would take me.