Chapter 5 Wit Cove Theatre

• So today was a bit of a depressing day. I viewed six apartments, but three of them were way out of my budget! The decent-priced ones had a roommate, but being with Michael for so long, I only wished for solitude. It was now half past three, and I was exhausted. Before I made my way back to Jacob and Jerry's place, I quickly headed to the shops and bought myself an ice cream.
• Once I reached the apartment and closed the door, I released a frustrated sigh. "Your ice cream can't be that bad?" asked a humoured voice.
• I got a fright; I was completely unaware Jerry would be here. "No, this was purchased to make my dreary day less disappointing," I said and tried to muster a laugh, attempting to hide my surprise.
• "That bad, huh?" he asked lazily with his hands behind his head. He was sitting by the kitchen counter.
• "You have no idea," I sighed, making my way to sit across from him, now giving my dripping frozen treat much-needed attention. I was so preoccupied, that I didn't pay attention to how Jerry was staring at me.
• "Hey, I think I know what will cheer you up, I have a gig tonight at the Wit Cove Theatre. Why not come with me as my guest?" he asked as he placed his folded arms on the cool granite top, looking at me intently with puppy eyes.
• "Aww, that's so kind of you. You sure?" I asked somewhat uncertain.
• "Yeah, you need a change of scenery, and a bit of laughter will do you good. There will be other comedians there too, and we'll be roasting the crap out of each other. My treat," Jerry coaxed leaning forward enthusiastically with all his weight on his elbows.
• "Thank you, I think I might take you up on your offer," I said with a grateful smile.
• At ten past five, Jerry drove us to the venue. We arrived at twenty to six, and it was such a vibe! I met some well-known comedians, along with a few of Jerry's friends and his agent, Adrian. Adrian was really cool. Just as the show was about to start, he approached me with a clipboard and said, "Sorry, Laura, but I'm going to need you to sign this document. It's just to confirm that you accompanied Jerry to the show as his guest. Make sure to press hard when you write; the pen is a bit faulty."
• "Sure," I said and quickly signed.
• "So cupcake, having a good time so far? No regrets?" Jerry asked as he loomed over my shoulder, looking at the clipboard in my hand.
• "Yeah, thanks so much, Jerry, I needed this," I chimed gratefully while returning the signed document to Adrian.
• As I turned to face Jerry, he brushed my hair away from my shoulder, then held the side of my jaw. "Anytime, sweetheart." He looked lost for a moment, then cleared his throat and continued while letting go of me, "Adrian will take you to your seat. I'll see you later!"
• "See you later," I replied. Damn, that was—weird. I shook my head, brushing it off as I followed Jerry’s agent. I was taken aback; I got one of the best seats in the theatre, and Adrian made sure I had drinks and snacks. At first I said no and that I was fine with just a drink, but he insisted, saying it was on the house.
• The show started with a bang; I can't believe they had Mildred Mason, my favourite female comedian and one of the best in the country. She was hilarious! Twenty minutes in, I felt my phone vibrate and saw I got a text from Jerry. I gave him my number earlier just in case we got separated and needed to find each other.
• Hey sweetheart, you doing good?
• I thought it was very sweet of him then replied: Yes, having a blast, thank you so much. I owe you.
• Anytime, cupcake, I’ll keep you to it.
• I quickly put my phone away before I became someone's punchline, with emphasis on the punch!
• This was a two-hour show, and finally, Jerry appeared on stage. He gave everyone a wave and then searched for me and winked. I only smiled in return. He started his intro with a few jokes about his journey to becoming a comedian and how he came to Vibrantia City. He was good; it's no wonder he is becoming recognised. It all went well until he started his new joke.
• “So currently I rent an apartment and bonus it came with a roommate,” he said, making the audience let out a soft laugh.
• "Recently, my roommate brought over a friend aaand it's a girl, a pretty one at that," Jerry said, bobbing his eyebrows up and down wolfishly, making the crowd murmur soft chuckles. I suddenly turned rigid and tried to make myself look small.
• "While our guest was sitting in the lounge,” he continued. “My roommate and I decided to go to the kitchen and discuss the reason why he brought her. He says to me, 'Jerry, my friend needs a place to stay for a couple of days.' I'm like, 'I'm okay with that, but we only have a two-bedroom apartment; someone and not me is sleeping on the couch.'"
• The audience remained quiet as they became invested in the story. I on the other hand was biting my thumbnail in anxiety. I was seriously considering sneaking out, but that will definitely attract more attention.
• Jerry continued, “My roommate was like, 'Sure man, no problem, I'll take the couch. I just want her to be comfortable; she is going through a rough time. She had just had a breakup.' I interrupted him, and the first thing that came out of my mouth was, 'Dibs.' My roommate asked, 'What, the couch?'" The crowd laughed, and I was somewhat shocked; I had heard of comedians altering their experiences to make their stories funny, but I was a bit concerned about where he was going to take this joke.
• "'Your friend,' I said, shamelessly," Jerry resumed. As the crowd laughed and made some other noises he interrupted, "Hey don't judge me!" As the audience continued to laugh, I sat frozen, fear overtook me. I was praying he would not reveal my identity or make fun of me, but knowing my rotten luck, it was going to be the inevitable. I held my breath as Jerry finished taking a sip of his water.
• "My roommate was like, 'Dude, seriously? Come on, she is my friend and she JUST had a breakup!' Oh shit, I forgot I invited her here tonight." Suddenly the lights shined on me and the crowd burst out laughing—including me, while I was holding my hand over my face. Although I was terrified, the way he delivered the line was truly funny.
• "Aww, you don’t have to hide your pretty face sweetheart. I only want to make you laugh. Your ex is an idiot," Jerry added. The audience favoured his comment and clapped on my behalf. The camera zoomed in on my face, and when I saw myself on the screen I blushed as I laughed even harder trying to hide my face and shooing the camera away.
• "Look at her, isn't she gorgeous?" Jerry asked earnestly. Some men wolf whistled in the background. "Oi! I called dibs!" Jerry said seriously, making many erupt in laughter.
• "Okay, wait all jokes aside, maybe now we can settle this couch issue." When he said that, I myself and the audience members chortled, I never knew Jerry was this funny.
• "As I was saying," he continued once the audience members calmed down, "So we established the problem: three people, a two-bedroom flat, and one couch. Where is she going to sleep? Laura, that's her name, Laura," Jerry said flirtatiously, making some chuckle.
• "Laura is adamant she will sleep on the couch. I mean, come on, two guys living alone? Yeah, you guys laughing at the back, you know! My roommate has a single bed, and I have a double. I don't mind sharing, girl," he said to me, acting like a player. I found it hilarious how he so easily was able to switch to different characters. The camera showed my face again, and I just shook my head while laughing. The crowd cackled more as a result of my reaction.
• "Dammit, thought you guys would help me out here,” Jerry pouted looking at his audience. “Okay, how about this, can I take you out on a date sweetheart?"
• I looked at him in shock, I was not sure if he was being serious or just joking. No matter, I shook my head while blushing. Some members of the crowd cheered me on to accept his proposal.
• "I'm just pulling your leg cupcake, but I am going to buy a sleeper couch, maybe then you will dream of me while you sleep. I will wait until I get my yes—I am a very patient man," he said in a humorous gentlemanly British accent. I just waved my hand and dismissed him while everyone laughed.
• "You're a great sport thank you, sweetheart. Everyone give our pretty gal a hand!" Jerry praised, and the crowd cheered as they clapped. "So speaking about couches the other day I read an interesting article—"
• "Come on, move to something funny, not this crap to try and win over a dumped fat bitch," shouted, a woman from the audience."
• The vibrant atmosphere became dead-silent with a few murmurs of disapproving voices travelling through the air of the theatre. Dread hit my stomach, followed by a wave of embarrassment. Although her words stung, I was not going to let a stranger ruin my evening, but once the woman was revealed on the screen, I became numb—it was Amber.