Chapter 4

• Eric is completely justified in being concerned about the dress rather than the person. He's fashion-obsessed, and it's impossible not to be if you're his best friend. When I don't have time to shop for myself, I designate him as my personal shopper. We're a dangerous combination, but American Express seems to enjoy us.
• "Okay, seriously, let's get this meeting started before I projectile vomit all over you," she interjects quickly.
• She begins the meeting with a disgusted expression, and I follow her lead. We discuss our weekly plans, an upcoming workshop Eric and Emma, Nikki's assistant, will attend tomorrow, and, finally, my long-awaited trip to Hawaii for my cousin's wedding.
• After the meeting, I'm alone with Nikki for a few minutes to catch up before we're swamped with work for the rest of the day.
• "I'm guessing your anniversary didn't end happily?"
• "Honestly, Charlie, you know how much I adore Roc."
• "Okay, but there's nothing more unappealing than seeing your husband covered in vomit, crying over the toilet bowl while calling his mother and asking her to come over."
• "Did he call his mother?" I inquire, trying hard not to laugh.
• "Yes, and an hour later she arrived with what could only be described as the entire drugstore."
• That does not surprise me. Rocky is a total mama's boy. Nikki, who doesn't necessarily dislike his mother, despises being the second person he calls in a crisis.
• "Enough complaining about my sookie-la-la-momma's-boy husband; let's get back to work."
• "Are you certain you don't want to go home and sleep for the day?"
• "Charlie, how long have you known me? Eight years?" "When have I ever been home sick?"
• “True. We'll catch up later," I say as I exit the room and make my way to my office.
• I sit at my desk and reflect on what Nikki said. Eight years seems like an eternity. In my head, I do a mental calculation of the years. I can't believe it's been so long since we first met in college.
• Nikki and I were assigned to be roommates. They dumped us together because we were both studying law. The only problem was that Nikki was a jerk, the type who made your life a living hell. She thought she ruled the world and ignored everyone except her college boyfriend, Rockford Romano.
• Rocky was a burly Italian guy with massive muscles who played quarterback for the college football team. Women flocked to him, men aspired to be him, but students were generally terrified of his tough ego. There were rumors that his family was involved with the Mafia, but he was nothing more than a pussycat. The sweetest, kindest guy you'd ever meet who adored the ground Nikki walked on.
• They started dating and would break up every week, only to get back together.
• Nikki, after all, has always been stunning. She outperforms the Victoria's Secret models. Her long, lean legs made her look like a supermodel, and her body was toned from the Pilates she did every day in our dorm room.
• Despite being a total glam-puss, she was still the campus babe. She was a hawk around her man if you had a pair of tits and a vagina.
• Toward the end of our first year together, I discovered her sobbing on the bathroom floor, surrounded by pregnancy tests.
• I was there to console her because she needed a friend, but that night we became more like sisters than friends. I did everything I could to help Rocky and Nikki during their pregnancy, mostly covering her shifts at the local pizza parlor when she was too exhausted to work.
• And seven months later, at 11:34 p.m., they welcomed William Nicholas Romano into the world. There was not a dry eye in the room as I watched him being placed on his mother's chest. I still remember Rocky handing him to me and the first time I held my godson. I leaned down and kissed his wrinkly brow while inhaling his baby scent.
• I fell in love with him the moment I saw him, but holding him broke me in a good way. I couldn't explain my unconditional love for him, and it has only grown since then.
• "All right, place a wager. Who looks better in it? Jennifer Aniston or Jennifer Lopez?"
• Eric taps his foot impatiently as I analyze the image in front of me, breaking me away from my past reflection.
• “J Lo. Seriously, don't you have anything more important to do than make sure everything is in order before I leave for Hawaii?"
• "I'm debating going because I'm a jealous best friend who still doesn't understand why you're not taking me," Eric says with an envious look.
• "I'm not going to justify my need for a vacation because I've worked for two years without a break. Get back to work, and make sure you order the salmon rolls for me."
• Eric walks out of my office and shuts the door behind him. I take a seat in my plush chair and refocus. I have a lot of work to do before next Friday, and I'll need to haul some serious ass before then.
• There is no time to be unorganized or lazy. Charlie, concentrate, regroup, and get your sh*t together.
• My phone beeps loudly, interrupting my zen. Julian wrote the text.
• "Julian: I'm glad you texted me at long last. I wasn't sure how long a stunning woman like yourself would abandon me. If you're available at two o'clock today, I'm available. If you want me to, I promise to behave."
• The text continues with the location of a café. I can't keep the smile from his adorable text from leaving my face. Even through a message, he maintains his allure. My fingers type quickly back, letting him know I'm available and how much I like the café he recommends because of the peanut shop next door, accidentally hitting send and realizing that peanuts autocorrected to penis.
• ME: Duck, please accept my apologies. Penis.
• ME: Argh! I'm referring to the penis.
• ME: PEANUTS, please.
• In frustration, I yell aloud. Autocorrect is a jerk. Did it not realize that no one gives a flying fuck about not ducking? How difficult is it for businesses to recognize and address the issue? I've managed to embarrass myself in front of an unbelievably sexy guy yet again, which is probably why I've been single for a year. I take a deep breath and close my eyes, only to open them again when my phone rings.
• Julian: Charlie, take it easy. All the ducks in the world couldn't make me happier than you did today. I'll see you at 2 p.m., right next to the penis store.
• This time, instead of yelling, I laugh. I haven't flirted with a guy in a long time, and if there's anyone worth flirting with, it's Julian Baker.
• This gives me a good feeling.