Chapter 4

• “And clean yourself up please, you look like you just got run over by a truck.” I got ran over by Alvin. "Fuck off. " I spit bitterly, my gaze meeting with Sinclair's once more before I disappear out of sight. As soon as I got into the confinement of my room, all thoughts of Sinclair disappear for Alvin’s to take over and I'm once again at the brink of tears, remembering the words he had told me.
• I couldn't handle him going twice on me, which was true because that two faced cheater is so damn big that it hurts every time he moves in on me.
• He said I don't know how to blow a fucking dick, which is wrong because I blew him once and he told me I did well.
• But maybe I didn't. I never tried again because I hated that taste. Maybe I really don't know how to blow a dick. Are these the reasons? Are there things wrong with me? My sexual desires and ability to give the opposite gender sexual pleasures? I'm terrible at it? I shake my head to get rid of the negative thoughts Alvin has successfully planted in my head but somehow; I pull my laptop closer as I get back under the duvet and close Netflix, going to a site I never thought I would. Aporn site.
• I have only watched pornography once in my life and I wouldn't exactly call it watching because I just glimpsed it while delivering a message next door to our old house.
• It was a very unpleasant experience. I know I have every right to watch this if I want to, but somehow; I feel like I'm performing a huge crime that will come back to bite me in the end.
• Going below everyone's perception of me and maybe even myself. I let out a deep breath before clicking on the play button and the video plays. Hell, I never thought I could be the type of girl that would skip school, only to lock herself in her room and watch porn.
• Never in my entire life had I imagined that my Tuesday night could ever go this way, and yet, here I am.
• The woman lays next to a man who looks like he's currently sleeping.
• The blonde woman moves her hand all over her body, biting down rather harshly on her lips. And I gulp down, as I find myself rather intensely immersed in it. I watch as she swipes her legs against each other before dropping her hand down her stomach and disappearing into her pants.
• She throws back her head against the pillow, her feet thrashing against each other as her hand moves in her pants and I bite down on my lips, my whole body suddenly feeling hot.
• She moans as she buries her head deeper in the pillow, her pants now moving down her legs along with her panties, so she's half naked with only the shirt on her.
• I move closer to the screen, my Own hands moving across my thighs as I watch her finger disappear inside her and she lets out a soft moan, pulling in and out of herself.
• "Fuck." I mumble, feeling my thighs get drenched with my sudden wetness as the woman's other hand moves over her breasts, squeezing it against the fabric of her shirt while her finger moves inside her at a slow pace.
• She turns her body towards the man, biting down on her lip with her hands, never stopping their movements as she keeps her eyes on him.
• Without realizing what I'm doing and even stopping to think much about it, my hand finds its way into my pants and I'm rubbing my fingers down my clit through the thin material of my pants.
• I resist the urge to close my eyes as I shift my pants to the side, cupping my wetness and spreading it across my inner thighs before running my finger down my clit while my other hand moves against my chest, following the movement of the woman that displays across my Screen.
• All inner thoughts, including the sensible ones, seem to be locked away from me as I desperately masturbate and moan to a woman fucking herself across my screen I keep my eyes intently on the screen as she finally reaches out to the man, running her finger across his body and just as she's about to grip him....
• "Now this is just an interesting sight, isn't it?"
• Have you ever been in a situation when you truly know and admit to yourself that what you're doing is something very wrong and yet you can't stop yourself from doing it?
• A situation where you know you'll regret your actions later but yet you can't control them? That's the exact situation I'm in right now as those green eyes stare at me.
• His lips curled into a small smirk that made my insides tingle in the most sinful way. How the hell did he get in?! I thought they left!
• I thought the door was locked! And how did I not notice him walking up to me?! I push my hand away from my sensitive parts as I close the laptop and push it further away from me, turning my body away from him with my cheeks burnt in embarrassment Out of all things... "Who could have known? That Eastwood high apparent good girl is not what she seems?" He's teasing me. I know he is, but yet, why does it sounds like a fucking immense turn on to me?
• "I wasn't, I was just- I just wanted to try it Out, "
• My voice is small and I sound so unsure of myself as I clamp my legs tight against each another to stop the ache that I'm feeling down there just at the mere sight of this man.
• Since when did I become such a fucking horny teenager? Will I blame it on the porn that I was watching or the sight of the cause of my childhood fantasies staring intensely at me?
• "And why would you want to do that, Abigail?"
• The sounds of my name rolling off his tongue in the most evil way.. Sinclair.