Chapter 22 Defeating and Defying

• I wheezed as I sprinted towards the residence. The evening had already crept in, making the trees appear inky and brooding. When I had rushed out of the room, I didn’t see Helen on my way out and I was relieved. I didn’t want her to see my tear-stained face and humiliated self. I stopped just a few feet away from the door that led back to the residence, surrounded by high walls and rules. The place where people considered me as their Luna. I planted my hands above my knees and bent slightly, gulping in some much-needed breath. My heart was still drumming wildly, my body was sweat-drenched and my face was an open book of the disgrace that I had just been subjected to.
• However, the familiar dull ache in my stomach, the itchy feeling, the haze was all coming back. My vision blurred. I straightened up, but my feet felt wobbly. I swayed and suddenly collapsed on the forest grounds. I sat breathing heavily and letting my tears fall for some time because this would be a luxury once I went in and then, with trembling fingers; I took out the bottle from my pocket. My energy had been exhausted in keeping my heat at bay and now it was being used at keeping my mind sane. I stared at the full bottle, a mockery, a taunt that pointed out the pretentious life I was living.
• I uncorked the wooden cork and took out one pill and put it in my mouth before I decided against it. If I was rejected in this way, if my basic needs were not going to be looked after by my mate and I had no other choice at the moment, I had no choice but to take the aid of keeping some respect intact. I felt like crushing the bottle and throwing it all away, making people aware of what I was, actually. The pill was hard to swallow, my throat was already dry and I could practically feel it going down my throat.