Chapter 7 What If I'm Gay?

• Averin's POV
• Today was a meeting day.
• A meeting I would have given anything to avoid, but no matter how much I wanted to stay locked in my office, avoiding the world and the inevitable questions waiting for me, I couldn’t afford to ignore my duties.
• The elders of Ravenshadow Pack had been pressing to see me for days. After what happened at Moonveil Pack, after the rumors had spread like wildfire, they were desperate to confront me. I had dodged them long enough, but I knew that avoiding them any longer would only make things worse.
• I already knew how this meeting was going to go. I could hear their voices in my head already—stern, disapproving, pressing me for answers.
• "Why haven’t you addressed the rumors?"
• "Why haven’t you publicly denied the mate bond with Maverick Blackwell?"
• "Why haven’t you chosen a bride yet?"
• I let out a heavy sigh as I rubbed my temples, trying to push away the dull ache forming at the base of my skull, but the truth was, my headache wasn’t just from dreading what was coming.
• It was from the fact that I had spent the entire night feeling like I was burning from the inside out.
• Something had been wrong.
• I had tossed and turned, unable to sleep, my body filled with a strange heat that refused to settle. It wasn’t feverish, but it wasn’t normal either. It felt internal—something beneath my skin, something deep in my soul.
• I had felt it before, or, at least, something similar, but this time, it was stronger, and I knew exactly what was causing it.
• My wolf, Nyx.
• She had been restless all night, pacing within me, trying to tell me something, but because of my father’s choices, she couldn’t. Because my wolf was weak, and she had always been weak, ever since I was a child.
• I swallowed hard, my fingers curling into fists at my sides.
• It was my father’s fault. His desperation to protect my identity had started early. When I was younger, he had given me something strange for years—a liquid, bitter and odd-looking, something I had been told to drink every night without fail.
• He had told me it was to “keep my wolf in control.”
• Because if I ever shifted, if Nyx ever let out even the smallest trace of her energy, people would know the truth. They would know that I wasn’t a man at all, and that would have ruined everything.
• So my father had suppressed my wolf before she could even properly develop, made sure that her presence inside me was a whisper rather than a roar, and now, all these years later, the damage was done.
• Nyx was still alive, but she was frail, silent, barely hanging on. She could feel things. She could sense things, but she couldn’t speak to me like a normal wolf should.
• So last night, she had been fighting to get my attention, and I had been unable to understand her.
• I closed my eyes, exhaling slowly, trying to calm myself before I stepped into the meeting room.
• Just get through this, I told myself.
• Then I pushed open the doors, and immediately, all eyes turned to me.
• The elders were waiting.
• As soon as I stepped further into the room, I scanned my gaze over the gathered elders, mentally preparing myself for the headache that was about to come.
• There were five elders seated at the table, their expressions ranging from impatient to outright disapproving.
• Elder Rurik, the oldest of them, sat at the far left, his gray eyes calculating. He had been around since my father’s time, and he was one of the elders who carried tradition on his head like a burden he wanted everyone else to share.
• Next to him was Elder Yelena, the only woman among them. She was composed, diplomatic, and rarely lost her temper—but she had a way with words that just never failed to annoy me.
• Then there was Elder Gregor, younger than the others but no less ruthless. He had a military background, which meant he valued discipline and order above all else. He didn’t care about tradition as much as he cared about strength—and if something threatened the pack’s image, he considered it a threat to strength.
• Seated beside him was Elder Boris, who rarely spoke unless it was to agree with whoever had the most power in the room. He was predictable, which meant he was easy to manipulate—a small blessing in this room full of schemers.
• And finally, Elder Viktor, a man with a voice louder than necessary and opinions as rigid as stone. He was always the first to speak, always the first to complain, and—unfortunately—always the most persistent.
• At my right-hand side, where he always sat, was my Beta, Rowan.
• Unlike the elders, Rowan wasn’t staring at me like I was a child who had been avoiding punishment, but his expression was tense, which meant I wasn’t going to like what he had to say either.
• The second I took a step further inside, Viktor scoffed, shaking his head.
• “Well,” he said, leaning back in his chair, “it seems that finally, Alpha Averin has decided that we are worthy of his time.” His voice dripped with sarcasm. “I was beginning to wonder if we’d have to schedule an appointment just to get him to acknowledge us.”
• I rolled my eyes but didn’t bother responding. Instead, I walked to the head of the table, where my chair had sat untouched for the last few days, and lowered myself into it.
• I rested my arms on the table and exhaled slowly before speaking.
• “The only reason I’m here today,” I said evenly, “is because these meetings are compulsory.” I glanced at each of them in turn. “So, I’d appreciate it if we actually focused on the purpose of these meetings instead of wasting time on things that don’t matter.”
• That earned me a few sharp looks, but I didn’t care.
• Rowan cleared his throat from beside me, his expression carefully neutral. “As much as other things are worth discussing,” he began carefully, “you can’t just dismiss the horrible rumors going around right now.”
• I clenched my jaw, already bracing myself for the rest of his sentence.
• “This isn’t a good look for the pack, Alpha,” he continued. “Whether you like it or not, they need to be addressed.”
• I exhaled a long, frustrated sigh, tilting my head back against the chair.
• “Address what, exactly?” I asked, deliberately feigning ignorance.
• That did it. Yelena scoffed, and Gregor let out a sharp breath as if he couldn’t believe I was playing dumb, but it was Boris who spoke next.
• “Are you into men, Alpha?” he questioned, and immediately, the room fell silent.
• Rowan shifted uncomfortably at my side, but he said nothing, while Boris’s dark eyes bored into mine, waiting for an answer.
• I let out a long, frustrated sigh, leaning back in my chair before fixing Boris with a glare.
• “And what exactly,” I said, “gave you the impression that I’m into men?”
• Boris let out a scoff, shaking his head slightly as if he couldn’t believe I was still pretending to be oblivious.
• “Wasn’t the fact that your mate turned out to be a man reason enough?” he asked, his voice filled with skepticism.
• I felt my jaw tighten.
• “The rumors already existed,” he continued. “And you know why? Because you’ve spent years avoiding women. You never give them the time of day, you never let one get close, and now…” He let out a bitter chuckle. “Now, the Moon Goddess herself has chosen the Sovereign Alpha’s son as your mate. And you expect people not to believe the rumors?”
• I tapped my fingers against the table, expression unreadable as I nodded slightly.
• “So,” I said, shifting my gaze across the room, making sure to meet the eyes of each elder, “if I tell you that I’m not into men and that this entire situation with Lord Maverick isn’t my fault—would you believe me?”
• For a moment, there was silence.
• Then, Elder Rurik leaned forward, his piercing eyes locked on mine.
• “It’s not that we don’t believe you, Alpha,” he said slowly, choosing his words carefully. “But unfortunately, your reputation makes it impossible for these rumors not to spread.”
• I exhaled slowly, already knowing where this conversation was headed before he even said it.
• “The only way to put an end to the rumors,” Rurik continued, his voice firm, “is to finally be seen with a woman.”
• I rolled my shoulders, pretending to consider it. “Wouldn’t that make it obvious that we’re just doing damage control?”
• Yelena answered before anyone else could. “That doesn’t matter,” she said with a dismissive wave of her hand. “As long as you marry a woman, every distasteful rumor will be put to rest.”
• I held back a scoff, but inside, I was seething.
• Of course. That was always their solution. Marry a woman. Prove you’re a man. Prove you’re normal.
• It had been their demand for years, ever since I had taken the Alpha title, and now, this situation with Maverick had only made them more relentless.
• I tilted my head, studying them, my expression neutral. Then, I slowly cleared my throat, letting the tension in the room build before I spoke again.
• “What if,” I said, “I actually am into men?”
• The air in the room shifted instantly, and a heavy silence fell over the table.
• Rowan stiffened beside me, while Rurik’s brows furrowed slightly, but he remained composed, watching me closely.
• Boris’s lips parted slightly, as if caught off guard, while Gregor narrowed his eyes, clearly trying to decide if I was serious or simply messing with them.
• Yelena’s face, however, twisted in shock, as if I had just said something blasphemous, and for a moment, no one spoke.
• And I let them stew in it because pushing their limits was the only entertainment I had in moments like these.