Chapter 44

• I was in a haze through all my morning classes. All I could think about was my children and how crucial it was to get them away. I only had three months left to plan and it didn’t feel like enough time. I needed to find the right parents, the right people who could handle the adoption privately and off the record if possible. I couldn’t just look them up in the yellow pages. I wanted someone who could assure me no one would be able to link them to me. They were to be untraceable even by me. If I were to live with this decision I had to make sure they would have a happy, normal, full, and safe life.
• Josh dragged me outside and made me sit in the sun. He said I looked so pale he thought I was turning Caucasian. Josh talked and I half listened, smiling on occasion and laughing when he did. Usually his presence was enough to distract me from my problems but not even his sense of humor and beautiful smile could give me a temporary fix.
• I thought of Ash and his promise. I knew I shouldn’t read into his words because he’s said them before and a few months later he left me. There was nothing else to warrant him leaving because we weren’t together, and it would be me leaving soon.