Chapter 4

• The thought of him being dead, never meeting him, didn’t sit well with me.
• “Things happen for a reason, Ash. We suffered what we did so that we could have each other. Tell me about your eyes, why silver?” I asked quickly changing the topic.
• He was quiet for a while before he answered me. He was still stuck in that sad pit. “Silver because I don’t drink human blood,” he said bluntly.
• “What!” I shot out of his embrace and stared at him, shocked.
• “Now I’m sure you won’t fall asleep.” His eyes darted to the ground and he looked so uncomfortable.
• “Why do mine turn golden?”
• “Because a part of you is still human and your blood keeps them gold.”
• That didn’t make any sense. “I don’t understand.”
• “Your human blood is feeding the part of you that has been changed by the venom inside you.”
• “Why the diet change? Apart from the ethical part.” I was glad his conscience trumped his pleasure principle. Otherwise this would have been a barbecue instead of a romantic getaway.
• His lips curved up into a smile exposing his shiny white teeth. “When my kind feeds on a human, unless we intend on changing them into werewolves they have to die.” He looked at me, his eyes searching for a reaction. “It’s hard to stop feeding once we start.”
• I kept my face straight, but I was freaking out inside. I didn’t want him to think I couldn’t handle it, especially since I was turning into a werewolf myself.
• “Why not just drink without having to turn them?” I added quickly, “Not that I’m saying you should.”
• “I understand what you are trying to say. With that kind of thirst, no one’s going to stop and look for a knife or a barbecue grill.” His lips parted in a wider smile when he said barbecue grill, as if he knew that was what I was thinking about. Then his smile disappeared. “We feed like the animals we are, we drink until there’s nothing left then we eat the flesh.”
• “So you aren’t even a little bit human?” I had amazingly managed to keep my cool when he said ‘eat the flesh’ and ‘drink until there’s nothing left’.
• “No.” He looked even more uncomfortable.
• “You fooled me. You look exactly like a normal boring human being.” His tight face relaxed and his lips curved into a crooked smile. “Am I always going to love the taste of raw meat and blood?”
• “Unfortunately, yes.”
• “The day you bit my lip, your eyes flashed gold it was because of the taste of my blood wasn’t it?”
• “Yes, I’m sorry about that.” He looked embarrassed.
• “So how did I taste?” I knew I was stretching it but it was supposed to be a romantic quiet night at the beach, instead it was turning into a camping trip full of scary stories.
• His head shot up, he looked confused by my question. “What?”
• “Was I yummy, bitter, too salty…” I smiled at him, amused by his now annoyed face.
• “You have a very bad sense of humor.” His voice was strained.
• “You haven’t answered my question.”
• “You were delicious. If the cut was any bigger and on an artery, you wouldn’t be joking around right now, you’d be dead.”
• I was taken aback by how candidly cool and yet harsh he was.
• “You are such a wet blanket.” He’d killed the humor I was trying to build up to get him out of his funk.
• “The good thing is I’ll be able to find you a lot quicker now that I know you inside out.” His tone was gentle and quiet.
• I looked at him, waiting for him to elaborate, but he stayed quiet looking at the ground. “You’ve lost me.”
• “I know the scent of your skin and that of your blood. I’ll be able to track you down faster wherever you go.”
• I crawled back into his embrace. He folded his arms over me and held me tight against him, burying his face in my neck. “What will happen to me with the venom inside me?”
• He let out a shaky sigh. “I’m not sure. There isn’t an exact science to it. We don’t have any other option but to wait and see.”
• We stayed quiet for the next few hours, watching the ocean and waiting for the sun to rise. I thought of Ash and how similar I was to him now. It didn’t scare me not knowing what I would become. As long as it was going to be something that would make me more like him, I would be fine with it.
• The moon disappeared, making way for the sun. The sight of it was a vision. The ocean sparkled as the sunrays hit it. We watched as it rose from the horizon and stood steadily in the sky, beaming its beauty on everything. I’d never taken the time to watch a sunrise. I appreciated it more than I did before, seeing it with a new frame of mind.
• “Let’s go home,” Ash whispered in my ear. He knelt beside me, then tucked his arm under my legs and lifted me up. He carried me and headed back to the car slowly. Shamelessly I fell asleep in his arms as we got closer to the car.
• * * * *
• I walked out of Ash’s sonar bathroom feeling relaxed and refreshed. His bedroom was huge, with a king size bed in the center, opposite the window. The sunlight streamed into the room, kissing the cool colors of the walls making its feel even warmer. I opened the antique chest of drawers and took out my sweats. I felt guilty about evicting him but his room was so him and being in it made me feel like he was close to me day and night. I walked down the stairs and into the living room. My dad was around, so that meant all the guys were gone. The girls were seated on the couch opposite him.
• I walked to him and hugged him. “Hi, Dad, where did the guys go?”
• “Shopping. You cleared out the fridge again this morning. If you’re not careful you’re going to get fat,” Maria’s chipper voice answered.
• The memory of my hog fest was embarrassing. I didn’t want my dad to think he had a pig for a daughter. That morning, immediately after we arrived from the beach, I headed for the kitchen. These days I had this uncontrollable hunger that would wake me up early in the morning and in the middle of the night. Anything bloody and fleshy I shoved down my throat. It was disturbing at first, but I was too hungry to care.
• “Merilee. How are you feeling?”
• “Tired, but I’m fine.”
• “Did you realize how fast you came down those steps?”
• I turned and looked at the staircase. Come to think of it, I did move really fast. It was like my speed was increasing with each passing week and I was noticing it less and less. It was beginning to feel normal.
• “Yesterday she moved my dresser like it was made out of cardboard and not oak.” Ann shook her head. “You are getting weirder, Lee.”
• I smiled, hoping it was a good ‘we still love you weird’ and not a ‘we’re going to run for the hills if you get even weirder’ ribbing.
• Quickly changing the subject, I sat on the couch the girls were on and asked, “What did you guys do yesterday?”
• “Nothing much, same thing we do every night.” Dad was upset. He dropped back into his seat.
• “You went looking for Sabrina?” I knew they weren’t home. I heard them talk the night before my graduation. Dad and Ash were determined to catch her before she tried to kill me again. “Don’t worry. She won’t be coming back any time soon.” That, I knew for a fact. She had a plan, and since everything had gone south pretty fast for her, I was sure she was sticking to it. “She said something about going somewhere none of you would dare follow.”
• My dad moved closer, sitting at the edge of his chair. “When did she tell you this?”
• I placed my hand on the stubborn bump that was the size of, and also felt like, a small stone under my skin, on my belly. It had only been a month since the attack in New York. “Right before she tackled me. Do you know where that is?”
• He slid back into the chair. “I’m not sure. I’ll have to ask Ash.”
• “Mr. Jackson, do you mind telling us about what’s going on? The guys aren’t very forthcoming,” Ann said, her tone serious.
• “Call me Dave. What exactly do you want to know?”