Chapter 82

• To let Cassandra give me a blowjob or have sex with me during a period like this would only reinforce that she was an employee. True, an employee who loved me, but still an employee. Before I could let myself touch her, I had to believe that she was doing so solely out of a desire to love me, with zero obligation involved.
• Unfortunately, the longer we went without sleeping together, the more I began to wonder if she'd ever wanted to sleep with me just because of our own mutual attraction. Or had it ALWAYS been out of a desire to please me on some servant-obligatory level? Was that really just the way she was wired?
• Was it really so bad that I wanted her to want me without the concept of "boss" or "employer" being involved? For her to desire me selfishly for how it made her feel and not be related to how happy she made me?