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Chapter 84

  • My lips began to quiver as my body lost its strength. I couldn't hold this anguish any longer. I put a hand over my mouth as a tear rolled down followed by a stream of it. Uncontrollable tears glistened without any halt because there is none from my despair. Mixed with cold water, my tears soaked my face and crumbled me. I wanted to go into a desolate place just to cry my heart out. The ravage in my heart is so severe that it's taking my life out from me. The state of distress is immense. Like I am drowning in the sea of fierce fire and no one can hold my hand to save me.
  • I fell on the ground as I removed the hand from my mouth and began to let out these sobs of misery because they needed to be let out. I couldn’t hold them in for long. I let out the loudest cries of my life- the cry of pain. I continued to cry as my eyes sting, my throat hurts from the scream but I couldn't stop. The sound, who knows, echoed to how much extent but I didn't care. I feel like my soul is being ripped apart from me. It's comparable to that ultimate feeling despair of rape. Once again, my heart is filled with depression. I continued to shed tears of despondency. I have felt every pain, every sadness. Why me?...
  • I grieve for myself. I hope the melancholic feeling might not make me suicidal.
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