Chapter 8

• A woman with beguiling looks and charm which is impossible to resist was seen in the mirror. That woman's appearance can make anyone fall for her. Her bewitching looks, the enthralling form of hers; Like some fascinating angel who comes right from heavens. Her features enhanced a million times when the veil was put over her and she looked at her reflection for the last time.
• The divinity thee may seem but not thou.
• I can see what others can't. I can see everything but myself in it. I am not here. It's not me. It's a beauty, no, beauty is not enough to explain how I am looking; exquisite. The elegance and grace, it's not mine. They can see a lavishing wedding of a woman with angelic features with a man as handsome as ancient Greek Gods. The irresistible man of a perfect dominating aura. Fakeness is getting bound eternally with lust as a constant reminder of misery which leads to this day.
• That's what they call facades.
• The demeanour used to hide the actual one.
• I stare with nullity because I can see what's behind that facade. I can clearly espy the upcoming devastation in the reflection, giving me chills. The irrefutable reality.
• In mine, A 21 years old girl with dreams that are fulfilled but using the way that made her lose her integrity in her own eyes. The dis-relish feeling that she has to sell her innocence just for her brother to be treated well so that he can recover. Crushed dreams, a shattered heart which used to flutter with happiness, thinking that she'll meet someone who'll love her and swear to stay by her side in good and bad times, There's nothing there is only one feeling;
• Toxic.
• I am bounding myself in a toxic marriage which will be lethal for me. I give him what he desires and he gives me what I desire but He can't fulfill my desires; he can't give me Love. Love is something which will never be present between us. Our contract states so; Everything is based upon physical satisfaction.
• Utterly broken and left with nothingness, loathing myself for my own selfishness...
• I went to those gates of hell that are going to take my life out of me mercilessly. Without any compassion, hatred and desire will be released as I have to bear that fierce force all alone with no one to save me. It’s okay, I am doing this for Eugene- this is the only consolation which kept me together or else I wouldn’t be here in the first place.
• I sometimes want to run into a desolate place where I live and no one else and I don't have to worry about anyone. No burdens, no pressure, no responsibilities.
• We reached our destination and there's a whole crowd of media. My hands turned cold. My heart began to beat so fast as if it could leap out of my chest. I lost my strength and it seems like there are some shackles that are pulling me back. Cold sweat was released by my body in nervousness. Each step feels like I am walking over a path that is filled with thorns that are making me bleed but no one can see it. I spare a glance at my mother who hasn't said a thing to me except that I look pretty. I expect to hear empathy from her but no.
• I felt my heart ache because at my wedding my mother is my only blood relative, others are friends and colleagues. My brother is not even present at my wedding. Instead of walking on the aisle with my brother, I am walking with my mother. And that no good Father of mine. It’s not like I want him to come but still...
• The deep scar I am going to receive today, I can feel it under my fingernails, giving convulsions to my very bones. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to contain myself. My heartbeat is not going to normal. In fact, nothing is going to be normal.
• As we were walking to the altar for my sacrifice, my mother said something that somehow gave me courage,
• "I am proud of you." I don’t know whether I should be happy about it or not because I hate myself for doing this but I was left with no choice. I feel desperate as I reluctantly agree to escape our affliction. I don’t know what’s right anymore...
• My whole being shivered from her words. I remained stoic, we reached the doorstep for a never-ending dread and repulse for me.
• We stopped and Christian didn't even offer me his hand. I struggled and stood on the altar. But unfortunately, I stumbled a little and fell on his chest. Second hand embarrassment. A feeling of being humiliated in front of so many people filled me. And he didn't catch me even then. He didn’t bother to touch me and help me stand. I slowly pulled away and heard his voice,
• "I won't touch you.." His voice sent shivers down my spine and a spark of happiness that he won't touch me was turned into dread when he completed his sentence, "...Not before our marriage.." My eyes widened as I looked at him who didn't even touch me while I was glued to his chest.
• I turned my gaze and pulled away not wanting to be crushed under the weight of this embarrassment. My heart pounded against my chest, deluging me in apprehensions.
• We stood facing each other as I deeply hoped each second would pass as if it's a year or more. I want this moment to stop so that I won't have to proceed towards that virulent life but there’s no turning back now. I can’t go back now.
• My eyes are fixed on the ground as I feel his penetrating gaze, which is gawking at my very soul. My cold hands held the bouquet tightly. My heart which is thumping faster by each passing second, My breath becomes uneven. I felt like I'll faint from this tensity. It’s unbearable to stay composed in his predatory gaze.
• Then I heard what my ears are wanting least to listen,
• "Do you, Sophie Skye, Take Christian Elvis as your lawfully wedded husband?" I felt my ears ringing upon hearing that. I was at a loss of words. My throat dried as I opened my mouth to speak but no voice came out. I tried to speak but my vocal cord has stopped vibrating. By my lack of response, Christian’s stare turned into a glare and due to fright, my trembling form managed to produce a quick faint sound, "I do."
• My words didn't reach anyone's ear as the priest asked,
• "Speak louder, my child." Swallowing hard, I narrowed my eyes and said in a soft but firm tone, "I do."
• I want to cry. Please just for once, isolate me from the world and let me cry my heart out. That's my last wish. I just want to cry before losing myself in the bottomless pits of despair.
• "Do you, Christian Elvis, Take Sophie Skye as your lawfully wedded wife?"
• "I do." He said in his deep commanding tone. The voice which made me shiver in dread.
• "I pronounce you the man and wife." I closed my eyes as a tear fell from the eye as my heart skipped a beat from the words that immerse me in frights.
• "You may now kiss the bride." He came closer as I turned numb and the sweat made me shudder. My mind became hazy with those undesirable thoughts. He pulled up my veil and my eyes met his dark gaze for a second as they formed a triumphant smirk on them. His lips are curved viciously, Adrenaline rushed in my veins as my heart skipped a beat. That look is enough for me to know what he is saying, 'We are married and you can't push me away now.'