Chapter 30

• DECLAN
• Alice was mad. If I had a choice in the matter, she would probably be six feet under. But she was given to me. The whole pack was expecting that we consummate whatever we had going on all because history had shown again and again that an Alpha was stronger with a mate. It was one of the reasons my parents had forced this arrangement on us. Apart from the fact, that it would align our separate packs to become a single body, it would set their minds at rest that I was not waiting for my fated mate to arrive. I wish I got it honestly. For most of my life, the fated mate concept was what I had used to keep my parents in check but as time went on, they got impatient and wanted things their way. I couldn't say no of course because then they would ask questions. Questions that had answers I knew they wouldn't like. The Moon goddess did not make me wrong. No. I wasn't the first and no one could call me unnatural because if I did find my fated like others like me, my parents' fears would be gone. The truth was their primary concern was not the merge of our packs or worry that I would die sad and lonely, it was simply for an heir. There was also the chance that my father wouldn't accept me for what I was. He had fears. Fears he had never confided in with my mother but I knew what he saw when he looked at me. The head of the Gardenia household, my father, saw a freak. I knew what his greatest fear was. The possibility that I wouldn't be the Alpha with my partner if my fated ever did come. It disgusted him that there was a possibility that his son would bend over for another man or carry a man's child. There was largely a possibility that would happen too. So I made sure not to disappoint him. Matthan was the first to tear my walls apart. It was just like him. He was a hurricane that did things to people and while I knew there was never a chance we would end up together, I was content loving him from a distance. I guess that had been my mistake. Loving him from a distance. I had absolutely hated Alice when Matt had told me they were fated. It brought me unbelievable joy when she rejected him. It was a pathetic thing to have done, now that I looked back at things. Perhaps I wouldn't have been full of glee if I had known why the rejection took place to start with but I was myopic. I was just happy to see Matt miserable and lonely again. At least I could love him again. But he did not need my love. Matthan never did. It had taken him only days to get another girl. Eloise Carter. Sure enough, I got jealous again. It was stupid now that I thought about it. My crush was something I had never pursued, never wanted him to know, but I couldn't stop myself and because I had no self control, it escaped. That was how Alice knew and she did not hesitate to use it to her advantage. I couldn't even blame her. I had made her life miserable. I knew she constantly regretted the decision she had made. I saw it that night when Matthan returned with his 'rebound'. She was jealous. Now that jealousy had morphed into something far sinister. Alice was desperate. Desperate to be seen. She wanted her reality. A future I couldn't give to her of my own will but it did not matter anymore. I was her slave now. I looked down at my naked body. Disgust was etched onto every inch of my skin. The scars were deep and thick. I pushed away from her touch and reached for my clothes. The disgust did not leave me even when the clothes were back on my skin but it helped, somehow. I moved closer to the door. My hand was reaching out to turn the knob when I heard her speak.
• "Are you running from me, Declan?"