Chapter 1

• -Elli
• I may. Possibly. Be drunk.
• I look up at the back of the bar and stare at the neon sign. It’s unreadable. And spinning.
• It only makes me laugh. “Hey. That’s cool.” I say pointing at the neon sign. “Where you’d get one that spins?”
• The bartender gives me a look. Or two. I can't tell. There looks to be more than one of him. He just shakes his head and walks away.
• “Hey.” I say leaning over the bar.
• “Okay I thank that’s enough for you.” I blink a few times while I look over at the dark brunette sitting on my left with big boobs.
• “You look familiar. Do I know you. I probably know you.”
• She just shakes her head and takes my drink from me.
• Now why. Did she do that.
• I’m not the type who goes out and normally gets drunk. But today’s a good day to throw the rule book. Out the window.
• I’m a good person, I pay my rent on time. I walk the neighbors dog when they’re out of town or late getting home. I work and always do what I’m told.
• Ergo— I don’t typically go out a get drunk. But it seemed like a good time. A good day. Heck! A good reason to do so!
• I Elli Lee Harper am off duty and plan to take advantage of such liberties.
• I am a very intelligent person on most cases. Except for one. One huge, humongous one. Like falling in totally unreciprocated love with a man who is basically the definition of off-limits. If there’s ever been a situation to justify my current lapse in ‘responsibilities’, it’s this one.
• Let the world crumble beneath me.
• Let the crabs crawls out of the ocean and snips everyone’s ankles.
• Let the doggies out of their kennels, take over the plantet like planet of the apes but instead with adorable but ferocious dogs and rebel against us.
• Because what’s there to lose. Also because I’m too drunk to care. The bar could be on fire now and I’d probably still sit here.
• “Sir. Sir.” I wave down the bartender. “Could I have another drink. This beautiful woman took mines.” I say pointing to the woman to my left.
• “Sorry you’ve reach your limit.” He says sternly.
• “Limit. Now that’s rude sir. I thought we were friends. There’s no rule for limits between friends. And I haven’t reached one. I’ve only had two.”
• “You’ve had way for than two.” Says Brunette Boobie again. I turn to her. And she gives me a concerning look.
• “Well I want more!” I say and then notice she’s look at something behind me.
• Is it food? Oh, food! I turn quickly. I hope it’s good food! Desert! I’d definitely rip through some desert!
• But I frown when I find another familiar looking blonde. “You’re not food.”
• “Okay. I thinks it’s time to call it a night then.” Says Not food.
• “But I don’t want to. I’m not done. I need more.”
• “You can’t even walk.” Brunette Boobie adds as she pulls me up and my feet wobble.
• Well I guess I’m upgrading from possibly drunk to. Just drunk. Or definitely drunk.
• Not food and Brunetter Boobie both direct me outside. “Wait. You both aren’t the boss of me.”
• ‘Boss’
• The word rings through my head and sends chills through my body.
• I have a great idea. I open my purse and dig through it till I find— “a ha!” I yell throwing my phone up in the air like I won. The moment makes me stumble back, but Not food and Brunette Boobie hold onto me.
• But then Not food yanks it out of my hand. “No you do not. Drinking is enough for tonight. Adding drunk dialing is off limits.”
• “But—“
• “But nothing. I already know who you’d call. So let’s not go there.”
• She doesn’t know me. “Who would I call?” I ask sternly as they continue to walk me towards a bench a ways up the street.
• “Your boss.”
• A shocking gasp leaves my lips. “Oh my gosh. How’d— are you a psychic?”
• Brunette Boobie just laughs.
• “We can fight if you won’t give it back?” I say and the both girls glare at me. Before nodding at each other and continuing to walk. “Hey. I said. I would fight you.” They still don’t say anything. Maybe because they are both taller and with my blood alcohol level probably at a very high number there’s a little probability I’d win.
• “I need to find someone.” I say sternly when I see a guy up ahead.
• “Hey sir.” He doesn’t look up. “Sir.” I say moving towards him when my two jailers start to shush me. But finally the guy looks up. “Would you date me?” I ask seriously.
• “No.” It was so fast.
• “But you don’t even know me. I would probably make you very happy.” I say.
• “I’m gay.”
• Oh. “Dammit.” I turn to my jailers. “Why are all the good looking ones either gay or taken.”
• “Or in your case out of reach.”
• “Exactly!” I say and pause. “Wait! How did you know that. Are you a physic too!”
• “Jesus. E! How drunk are you?”
• I just giggle in response.
• “Just a little.” I say squeezing two fingers together to show how little it is.