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Chapter 10

  • Few days after I was discharged from the hospital mum collapsed in the Kitchen, it was Vicky who saw her on the floor in the kitchen when she went to get me some water from the kitchen. I could still remember the terrifying look on Vicky's face when she came to tell me that my mum had collapsed in the kitchen. I guess she could not find the courage to tell me about it immediately she came back into my room, recalling now how she had looked, maybe she was scared about what could be the outcome of what she had to tell me and me, knowing Vicky well, I knew at once that something was wrong especially since she did not come back with the water was going to get for me.
  • I shot my eyes briefly as the thoughts of what had happened on that very day flooded my memories, it was an experience I never imagined I would ever meet in my life growing up and I wished so much that I had handled what happened to me better than I did, maybe my mum would still be alive with me and my kids today I think but
  • I was feeling traumatized by what I am going through at the moment, I even had to stop going to school because of my situation, that I did not realize my mum was suffering as well. She was suffering the whole time and I did not know about it, I should have realized it but I was so drowned in my misery, but thinking about it now, Mum... she did hide it very well herself.
  • When we finally took mum to the hospital after we tried to wake her up but failed, we were told by the doctor who attended to her that she was already dead before we could reach the hospital and that she died from heart failure. "...heart failure" imagine how that sounded... I killed my mum, I had said to myself...
  • I couldn't stand it anymore especially when mum died that I planned to get rid of my pregnancy even though I have heard that it might cost me my life, I did not care.... there wasn't any reason for me to go on living then, I thought. ,
  • If not for Vicky I wonder what would have become of me, she did everything she had to do for me in the best possible way she can, in other to save my life and that of my kids.
  • She took me to her home and I was watched over every day and night by a therapist hired for me by Vicky’s parents.
  • I kept making attempt to take the lives of my kids until the day they were born, and that was the very day I fell in love with them after seeing their cute little face which I had refused to see after so many hours because I was still carrying the pain of losing my mum on them, not until Vicky told me that I was committing a grave sin by punishing the sweet innocent gifts I was given to by the heavens did I agree to see their faces and as Vicky had said, they were truly the gifts I never imagined I would ever have... they were my blessings.
  • From that day, I took a decision to turn a new leaf for the sake of my twins, it was also on that day that I named them Alex and Sandra.
  • I had to sell our home and move away from the environment where I grew up in, with the help of Vicky and her parents to start a new life here together with my twin boy and girl, Alex and Sandra.
  • It may be tiring sometimes that I'd wish mum was still alive at least it would have made things a lot easier for me, but then, I still have Vicky and hopefully some day the kids would grow up and be a lot more helpful.
  • I quickly turned on my side, jolting out of my thoughts when I heard the front door open, I can also hear the jiggling of my kids as Alex and Sandra along with the sound of Vicky’s voice.
  • “They are home so early.” I said to myself looking at the time. “Or did they forget something?” I asked myself again when I saw that it has only been two hours since they left home.
  • I climbed out of my bed and slowly walked to the door.
  • “I told you kids to keep it down, now see your mum is awake.” Vicky said to the kids, pointing briefly at me.
  • “Did you forget something?” I asked Vicky.
  • “Yes, Sandra forgot her teddy, so we came to get it.” Vicky said.
  • “What!” I exclaimed.
  • “You all came back here just to get Sandra’s teddy?” I asked looking from my kids to Vicky.
  • “Sandra said she can't eat without her teddy.” Alex said, looking up at me.
  • “I want my teddy to eat with me mum.” Sandra said to me, fondling with her fingers.
  • “Go get your teddy pumpkin.” Vicky bent over and told Sandra, who left to get her teddy immediately afterwards.
  • “I sorry Vicky.” I said looking at her apologetically.
  • “Come on Kim, its nothing, she's just being a kid that she is.” Vicky replied.
  • Seconds later Sandra showed up with her teddy.
  • “Alright pumpkins, be good okay.” I said, waving them goodbye as I shut the door after them.
  • “Now it’s time to get a proper sleep.” I said within me as I walked back to my room.
  • I can't believe that I have been recollecting my past for over two hours now.
  • "Enough thinking Kim, you have to get enough sleep before the kids get back..." I said again within me.