Chapter 4

• Tulip, 1911 - Mackerson Farm.
• “Sarah, honey, you have to promise me you're going to be okay,” Lia said.
• “I don't want to go, Lia. I don't want. - Sarah cried in the nanny's lap.
• “ You must, my love. It's your father's order.
• - But I do not want. — I was stubborn.
• Marla walked in the door, asking:
• "Why is she crying, Lia?"
• "You don't want to go, ma'am," Lia explained patiently.
• “Why is that, Sarah? Why don't you want to travel?
• "I don't want to go alone, Mama!"
• “You have to go, Sarah. He is already 11 years old. She's almost a girl now. When arriving in Deolinda they will be waiting for you. When her sister left she was even younger and she didn't do this. All the women in the Mackerson family attended this boarding school, Sarah and you are certainly no exception.
• "Mommy, could you go with me?" I'm afraid - the girl asked, still with tears in her eyes.
• “You won't be alone, Sarah. Many people will be on the train. It's his grand opening and you'll be there girl! How many wanted this ticket and did not have the opportunity. Luckily your father is very influential and he did it,” said Marla , smiling happily.
• "But I don't want to..." continued the girl.
• — If you persist with this crying and stubbornness, your father will be upset. And he can even send Lia away to punish her. Do you want this, Sarah? Do you want Lia to leave because of you?
• Sarah looked at Lia. No, he didn't want the nanny to leave because of him. And he knew his father could do it if he wanted to.
• "I'll go no contest," Sarah said sadly, wiping away her tears.
• “Yes, Sarah. Be a good girl and everything will be fine. Marla left the room .
• Sarah hugged Lia, who was still sitting next to her on the bed.
• “Lia, what if I go and you're not here when I get back?
• "I will be, my little princess." I will always be waiting for your return.
• — Promise?
• “Sarah, of course I promise. But you will also have to promise me something.
• "What do you want, Lia?" I promise yes - the girl assured, not even knowing what the nanny would say.
• "Promise me that you'll always remember me and won't forget me when you're away."
• "I promise, Leah. I love you.
• “Sarah, you're still so young… only eleven years old. That's why he likes me so much. When she returns, in 4 years, she will already be 15. She will be of marriageable age, she will almost be a woman... When her sister left for boarding school, she was also very attached to me ... She promised never to forget me. But when he came back from that place, he hated me. I think the revulsion was simply due to the fact that I was black. In that place they'll talk bad about some people to you, honey. Maybe they try to teach you that us black people are not like you. Try not to believe everything, my girl. Don't let them change your pure little heart. You're so different from the other Mackersons... Prove to me that you'll grow up different from them, Sarah. Keep innocence in your heart, love, affection, the restlessness of this little head that is always looking for explanations for everything.
• “I'll never forget, Lia. I like you so much. Sarah hugged the nanny. "Why don't you go with me, Lia?"
• “I can't, my girl. Now stop crying,” he said, wiping the tears that insisted on falling on Sarah's clear and delicate face. "We're going to find your father so he can take you there soon, before they miss the train departure."
• When Sarah arrived in the living room, João, Marla and Júlia were waiting for her.
• "Say good-bye to everyone, Sarah," her father ordered sharply.
• Sarah gave her mother a long hug, another one for her sister.
• “That place is not good, Sarah. But I guarantee you'll get used to it - warned Júlia.
• — Don't make her more insecure than she already is, Julia. - Marla scolded .
• Julia laughed. Sarah was a little afraid. When trying to give her beloved Lia another hug, she was stopped by João, who took her by the arm, taking her away.
• As they walked through the white and green field, Sarah continued with an immense desire to cry. But she couldn't, because she would be severely punished by her father. She had been taught that she couldn't cry, and if she did, it should never be in the presence of others. But she knew that together with Lia she could do it... In fact, with Lia she always managed to be herself, speak her mind, cry, ask questions about the world and all people.
• The road was long, even more so with the silence that hovered between the two.
• When Sarah arrived at the train station, she was even more nervous. There were so many people... Never in her life had she seen so many people gathered in one place. They were talking loudly, some were screaming, most were smiling, children were crying. There was a lot of dust in the distance, which the wind brought close to them, sometimes blinding their eyes or blurring their vision. Sarah felt like she could be trampled at any moment as she looked up, trying to see people's faces.
• "You're privileged, Sarah," said João. — This train is the most famous in the country. The great promise of plenty for our state and the prosperity of the States. And you will be part of his maiden voyage. He is very fast... In just over a day you will be in Deolinda. There is a cabin reserved for you to sleep in, or if you prefer, you can also stay there, alone, until the end of the trip. When you want to use your individual space, purchased in first class, just ask the employee in charge of the train. I paid her very well to guide her along the way so that she arrives in Deolinda without major problems.
• — And what do I do when I arrive in Deolinda? she asked anxiously.
• “One of the nuns in charge of the boarding school will be waiting for you at the station. Just always do what she says and everything will be fine. When she returns, she will be a girl, ready for marriage. You will know how to behave like a true lady. It's the bare minimum it takes to be a Mackerson. And you will even learn to read, as you always wanted.
• "Daddy, can you walk me inside the train?" I'm afraid,” he said in an almost terrified tone, pleading.
• John looked steadily at his daughter. Sarah intensified her expression of sadness, to see if he sympathized. Not that her father was a man who pitied anyone, but maybe her being his daughter could change that, at least for that day. And she did. Joao took her hand and went with her into one of the carriages.
• The father accommodated her on a bench near the window, claiming that looking at the landscape would do her good. There was the restaurant car. There was a table in front of her, with meringue-adorned biscuits and hot tea in a china teapot.
• There were people coming in and out all the time, very euphoric. Men patted each other on the back and said things she didn't understand. There wasn't one who didn't greet their father cordially. And everything scared the girl.
• “Don't be afraid, Sarah. Everything will go as expected,” assured John. - Goodbye.
• She tried but couldn't stop the tears. Soon he began to clean them with the palms of his hands, remembering the ban on crying in public.
• — Goodbye, Daddy.
• Before Sarah could even speak another word, some men came and told John that the governor needed to speak with him. And her father was gone, not even looking back, leaving little Sarah there, fragile, sensitive, afraid and completely helpless, alone in the midst of all these strange people.
• She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and thought of her favorite story, which Lia told every night , about Sandy, the little girl who managed to fly. He remembered each part: “... The little girl wasn't afraid and didn't even know about her powers. But one day, when she was in danger, the greatest of her life, she ran away and climbed on the roof of an old house to hide. When he realized that the evil sorceress was close, he found himself without chances and threw himself from the top. But he wasn't afraid at that moment. You were very brave, as always. He opened his eyes and arms... And flew away like a bird. That's when she discovered that all brave people have a little magic stored somewhere for the moment they need it. And she, Sandy, pursued all her life by the sorceress, could now do anything she wanted, including flying...
• Sarah loved that story and how she wanted to be like Sandy. She asked Lia to tell her several times before going to sleep and in most of them they talked about the girl, about dreams, about magic.
• The train whistled, startling the girl. Then it slowly departed. Everyone started clapping, both inside and outside the locomotive. Sarah also applauded, even without quite understanding why she was doing that.
• Next to Sarah sat a very elegant woman, tall, fair-skinned, with long, curly hair. She wore a dress of pure silk, light gray and on her head a beautiful hat, with a bow exactly the color of the dress. She had pink lipstick on her lips. Sarah thought it was beautiful for women with lipstick... And those dresses... One day she would have so many silk dresses that she wouldn't even know which one to wear! The woman was drinking her tea from a hand-painted china cup and had ordered sweet brioches.
• "Why are you looking at me so much?" the woman asked, staring at the girl.
• “Nothing,” Sarah said, looking away quickly, disguising it.
• Sarah could see the landscape flash past her eyes. The houses, the greenery, the river, the trees... The train was fast.
• That place where the train passed she would recognize with her eyes closed, just by the smell. It was Mackerson Farm. The girl couldn't contain her emotion and got up from her seat. I wanted to see the whole farm from there. I could visualize the workers working in the plantation.
• She started screaming out the window, euphoric. But nobody listened to her. Already almost at the edge of the other farm, he managed to see Lia in the distance, waving and running through the green fields. Was Lia seeing her? An immense happiness took care of you. It was his Lia... Beloved Lia.
• "Goodbye, Lia, I love you," he shouted, waving vehemently.
• "Is this your nanny?" asked the elegant lady who sat across from him.
• "No... It's my mother," she lied proudly.
• The two women present began to laugh.
• Sarah felt immensely sad at that moment, being mocked by two adults who didn't know her. He got up and left and ran from there, from car to car, opening and closing doors.
• There were a lot of people, all the cars were full. After a while she reached what she thought was the last car. There was no one else there. Only suitcases... Many, countless, of all colors and sizes. In two little boxes, in a corner, two puppies comfortably accommodated.
• Sarah sat on the floor, put her head between her legs and cried. He cried without fear, without repression. He cried while he had tears. He cried without knowing how much time had passed. She really wanted to be Lia's daughter. Both the nanny and all of her father's servants treated her with more affection than her own family.