Chapter 282

• With Jim, I thought I had done ok with stopping him after the first time he kissed me. I missed all the signs after that of his intentions. How could I? I like to think of myself as intelligent, but somehow I just went along with what Jim wanted right up to that fateful night.
• After another week of sessions, I had another scare. I was two days late for my period, and was paranoid as hell until I got back to my parents' house with the pregnancy test kit. I had been off birth control since Matt had the vasectomy, and would absolutely die if Jim had gotten me pregnant. After ten excruciating minutes of waiting, the test came back as negative. Just to be sure, I made an appointment with my OB the next day to confirm that I wasn't.
• After the results came back as negative, I was happy for the first time in a long time. There would have been no hope for my marriage if I had gotten pregnant. I wouldn't abort the baby if I had, and I knew that Matt would never raise the baby knowing who the father was and how it got there. I wouldn't blame him for it either.