Chapter 23

• There's always that news that hits you, that you are happy about for that person but then it makes you think about yourself. Somehow it brings out some flaws that haven't been there all your life or you hadn't noticed until you sit there being happy and then it hits you:
• you are twenty-eight going to your thirties, although you look at least five years younger, you don't have a boyfriend, you've had only one your whole life and it was messy, you've had sex only once and it still was messy and your best friend is already engaged to get married soon and you are nowhere near ever having a relationship because of your infinitely large insecurity about yourself, that you have carried for years, and you still have dreams of getting married and having kids of your own one day even though you have no idea when it will happen given that you have never really thought about it until now.
• Alita was morose the entire day thinking about how her life might turn out to be and maybe she was never going to have kids by sexual intercourse with a husband that she would so love and cherish as she has always fantasized about.