Chapter 2 Making A Decision

• The Next Day
• 5:00 am, February 18, 2021
• We moved stealthily, as if we were thieves, and in essence, that's what we were becoming. The longer we walked, the more convinced I became that stealing sperm was a better option than attempting a fifteenth relationship that could end in the fifth disagreement of ideals, the sixth infidelity, the second separation due to a change of country, or the sixth separation because the relationship was too suffocating and dominant.
• I had exhausted countless attempts to have my happy ending as someone's wife and mother. So, I reached a breaking point. Asking my ex-boyfriends for sperm was not an option when they were in their own world, some even with families, and continuing with Dante was out of the question. So, I was left with artificial insemination.
• However, this option was only available to married or soon-to-be-married women – a status I wasn't anywhere close to achieving, and I couldn't afford to wait any longer. I needed to take action. Hence, I found myself skulking around like a thief, trailing behind my best friend Lu, on a mission to pilfer the sperm of some unknown donor.
• Slowly, we arrived at the storage room, where there were two columns of containers filled with a white liquid. I sighed deeply as I had to check which one could be useful for me and noticed that there were many.
• "We must hurry before we get caught. Good thing is that each jar has a label indicating why it will be discarded. The ones with black labels are the ones with sexually transmitted diseases like AIDS or something worse," Lu began to explain.
• "The orange labels are samples from children with non-communicable but deadly diseases. The blue labels are samples that have exceeded their storage time, and the beige labels are samples from people who have been previously inseminated but haven't fertilized eggs." Lu continued, while I struggled to absorb the information, realizing that only the white-labeled jars held potential donors who were disease-free and fertile, albeit with an expiration looming within twenty-four hours. So, I began searching for the future donor of my possible baby.
• Five hours later
• Lu had to leave, and I continued searching for the donor to the point of running late for work. Today is Sunday, and as a slave to capitalism, I have to go to work at nine in the morning, and it's already ten, and I still haven't left.
• My boss’ message brings me back to the present moment, and I curse myself for requesting five hours off and arriving late, especially considering my boss' dual persona: a womanizer in his personal life but authoritarian and annoying professionally. As I get up from the floor, defeated, my phone rings again, and I read the message.
• "You have exactly one hour to be here, and because you’re late, you'll have to stay five hours later today."
• Great, I'll be finishing at midnight, a job that typically ends at four in the afternoon on Sundays because I doubt he'll actually let me off for being late to work. Annoyed, I grab my things and start looking for my glasses, which I can't remember where I left them.
• Surrounded by useless sperm samples, I search for my glasses while the anxiety of arriving after the agreed-upon time troubles me. Desperate, I search, moving the jars, and as a divine reward for persevering, I see the glasses in the middle of a jar with beige labels.
• Behind me, I hear a victorious song, and I celebrate for being able to find the sample. Smiling, I call Lu, who tells me where I need to go. Taking a syringe, I extract the liquid from the container. To make the theft less noticeable, I take several jars and divide the amount with the empty ones. Then I leave to be inseminated.
• Pretending to go for a gynecological consultation, I advance to the offices where Lu takes me by the arm and leads me into a storage room where there is a chair with leg supports still wrapped in plastic.
• "Get up, we won't be able to go to a real clinic. But we have the chair we need, and I already stole the speculum and some tools for the insemination. So, pull down your panties, get on the chair, and take a deep breath because I'm going to make you a baby today!" Lu says, so excited that she says it too quickly.
• "I understand," I murmur, ignoring my boss' threat, and I climb onto the chair without panties and spread my legs to be inseminated by the stolen sperm.
• "Well, here we go," Lu murmurs, and I hesitate.
• "Wait a moment, Lu. Do you think everything will go well? We are stealing discarded sperm. I'm afraid things might go wrong, that I'll have a baby with something worse than AIDS, or that we'll end up in jail and I'll have my baby there or..."
• "Kim, take a deep breath. Don't dwell on the negatives. All sperm samples are analyzed and then manually labeled to confirm the results. If the sample you took was the color I explained, there's no problem."
• "Everything will be fine. Don't worry. Remember, this is what you want, we're just making it possible," Lu reminds me.
• "In an illegal way," I reply.
• "Illegal or not, the important thing is that you'll be able to become a mother. A role you have prepared for so much. So, stay calm, everything will go well," Lu says, and I nod, sighing to keep myself calm.
• "Alright, do it," I tell her, and she starts examining my vagina and inserting the sperm sample. I keep my legs open for more than five minutes, while Lu watches to make sure no one sees us with our hands in the dough, or in my case, with the stolen sperm inside me.
• After the time passes, I get dressed and rush to take a taxi, realizing that the scheduled time set by my boss has already passed. Trying to sigh to calm myself down, I check my thesis advisor's email, who canceled my class and consultation yesterday.
• Relief washes over me as I realize my thesis has been approved, and I will be able to graduate soon after completing the necessary internships. All this achieved without jeopardizing my job, courtesy of the support from my current boss' father.
• Undoubtedly, the guidance and assistance from my former boss, Bill Delacroix, paved the way for my future as a lawyer. His financial backing and flexibility enabled me to pursue my studies diligently, ensuring I could fulfill my aspirations without financial strain.
• With anticipation bubbling within me, excited to almost finish my studies, I send the date and time of the defense to my former boss, Bill Delacroix, who has been like a father figure who gets excited about my achievements. Although I doubt his son feels the same way when he arrives half an hour late, and not precisely due to work matters.
• I pay the taxi and enter the company where we work daily, rushing to the elevator where I can barely catch my breath to run to the workplace where my boss is waiting for me with an unfriendly face.
• "Finally decided to show up, Miss Morgan," Mr. Delacroix remarks, his irritation palpable.
• Damn, it's clear that my day is not going to be peaceful, and it's not even noon yet.
• I sigh inwardly, realizing my day is off to a rocky start, and it's not even noon yet.