Chapter 9 Venting in Drunken State

• Even till nightfall I did not get a reply from him.
• Although I was already used to his usual behaviours, this time it was too hard to surpress my emotions. What did he mean by saying nothing and letting me suffer alone like this?
• If my feelings could not be vented, I felt as if I could be suffocated to death. Thus, I made a phone call and invited Zhou Manfan to Night Scene.
• She came right after I arrived at Night Scene. There was still a layer of perspiration on the tip of her nose. She plopped herself next to me, asking with raised eyebrows, "What's wrong? You're in a bad mood?"
• I poured a glass of wine for myself and downed it in one gulp. I smiled bitterly, "I might be getting a divorce."
• Initially, I thought the moment I sent the message to Cheng Jinghao, I had already accepted my own decision.
• However, the instant of mentioning the word "divorce," I felt a stab in my heart. Even breathing became painful.
• She smiled and asked, "Divorce? Why?"
• I downed another glass of wine before telling her everything that happened the past few days.
• Every word being said, I felt like I was given a cold hard slap.
• My husband, in the presence of everyone, brought his mistress and love child into our family. On the contrary, I, his legal wife, had to move into a hotel.
• Manfan violently banged her wine glass on the table. She furrowed her brows in disgust and said, " F*cking disgusting. Where is Cheng Jinghao?"
• With a sarcastic smile. "I haven't been able to get in touch with him for the last five or six days. Probably another business trip."
• "Ning Jing, you are such a pushover! They are the ones in the wrong—why are you the one moving out?"
• She sprang up from her seat and ground her teeth in anger, looking resentful and exasperated at me because I had not been strong enough. "Wait for me here—don't go anywhere."
• I was confused. "What are you going to do?"
• She grabbed her cell phone then walked away. "You don't have to know!"
• I wanted to catch and stop her, but I just pounced on empty air in the end. Thinking that she had always had a sense of propriety in doing things, I eventually did not chase after her.
• I sat half leaning against the sofa, downing one glass of wine after another, trying to numb myself.
• However, I overestimated my tolerance level for alcohol. After just about twenty minutes, I was already quite dizzy.
• "Hey Miss, it's not fun to drink alone."
• There was suddenly a shadow looming over me from the side. Without even looking up, I said stiffly, "F*ck off."
• It’s often chaotic in such places, but people who could afford the price in Night Scene were more or less socially presentable—they would unlikely go as far as behaving like a gangster.
• But I seemed to have thought wrong.
• "Well, seems like the temper is bad!"
• Along with the frivolous remarks, the sofa next to me suddenly sank a little. A warm arm sneaked its way on to my shoulders.
• I turned my head half a beat late and was slightly stunned. Aside from seeing a frivolous stranger, I also spotted an aloof, elegant man standing not too far away from me.
• Even though it was only a quick glimpse and my vision had started to blur, I still recognized him at first glance. It was him, Cheng Jinghao.
• I smiled and said to the stranger beside me, "Come, let's have a drink."
• "Sure, I happen to be all alone too... Ah!"
• The moment the man held up a wine glass, he was thrown to the grown without even a chance to put up a struggle. He swore out loud, "Which mindless f*ck is this!"
• I clenched my fists and squinted to have a quick look at the man who had suddenly appeared after a few days. My chest was stuffy.
• When that man was about to crawl up, Cheng Jinghao swung his fist. His voice was even colder than his fist, "Scram, or I will kill you."
• He possessed an innate aura that was extremely intimidating, most dare not question his words.
• That man frantically fled as he realized that this was someone that he was no match with.
• I shook my dizzy head and asked despite knowing the answer, "Why are you here? What about Manfan?"
• "She had some issues at home—she won't be here." He looked sinister, and his voice was suffused with anger, "If I didn't come, what are you going to do? Drink, and then?"
• Right after he finished speaking, he grabbed hold of my wrist and pulled me towards the exit.
• My legs were wobbling, I could only follow him in weak and unsteady steps. It was only after he squeezed me into the front passenger seat that I said rather mockingly, "Drink... and then get a room with him."
• His cold, detached gaze looked like a pond of bottomless and freezing darkness, hostile and harsh. His voice sounded cold and gloomy, "Ning Jing, what did you just say?"
• If I heard this tone when I was sober, I would have instantly caved in from the fear.
• But now I was completely wasted. Coupled with the grievances and the repressed emotions I had been enduring for the past few days, I simply could not control myself.
• I chuckled, laughing at myself. "So only the magistrates are allowed to burn down houses, while common people aren’t even allowed to light a lamp? Why? Cheng Jinghao, I don't owe you anything—why do you have to bully me so?"
• He seemed stunned for a moment. Frowning, "What are you trying to say?"
• The indifference in his face aggravated the grievances in me. I said sobbingly, "Didn’t you see the message I sent you this morning? I hate you—I want a divorce!"
• His gaze was deep, just like dense, undiluted ink. He said with a tone of finality, "I don't agree."
• My heart trembled a little. A gleam of hope ineffably grew inside me. I asked, "Why?"
• He loosened his necktie agitatedly. His movement looked both roguish and sexy. His voice sank, "Now isn't the right time."
• The feeling of hope from a moment ago felt like a pathetic joke.
• As it turned out, it was not that he would not divorce me. It was just that now was not yet the right time.
• Why?
• Because Song Meiqian and Bao had just moved in, so he doesn’t want them to carry bad reputations?
• Or because of my mother-in-law?
• For a moment, my mind was spouting many guesses, and each one of them pierced straight into my chest like a knife.
• Right... He would only be considerate for Song Meiqian. In his eyes, my title of Mrs Cheng was just in name.
• My spirit crumbled in an instant. Pea-sized tears started to fall. I said hoarsely, "Cheng Jinghao, what are you taking me as? I'm your wife... Other people kept their mistress and love child away, while you, on the other hand, brought them back home. I'm also a human—my heart can hurt! Now… even to get a divorce, I still have to choose the right time, don't I?!"
• By the time I finished speaking, my voice was shaking. Logic and rationale had completely left me. I continued on, "True, that year when we got married, it was me who needed your help, but I only agreed to it because it was you! And that doesn’t mean you can treat me like this...
• You don't like me talking to you about love or feelings, so I never did. These past few years, I've done my best to be your wife, and I've always been good to you and your family. I thought maybe I could get a tiny bit of affection or concern from you in return. And what’s the outcome? In your eyes, I'm nothing but a prostitute..."
• As I said that last word, the memory of that night resurfaced in my mind. It was as if there were tiny needles jabbing my heart again and again.
• My crying got worse. It was as if I could let out all of the grievances and sadness filling my heart by doing so.
• A mixture of emotion flashed in his icy gaze. He seemed shaken and tender—I did not have enough time to decipher because it was so fleeting.
• Most likely, I had gotten too intoxicated and started to imagine things.
• He raised his hand to wipe my tears off and started the car. His voice was as indifferent as usual, "Let's go back home first."
• There was no explanation; there was no consolation. The fist I swung seemed like it hit a puff of cotton. Maybe in his eyes, it was just an unreasonable and childish tantrum.
• An indescribable sense of misery surged in my heart. I said, "Home? The moment you brought Song Meiqian back, that is no longer home to me."