Chapter 7 Letters Of Fate

• Ambre
• The rumor has been growing all day at school: the university results are in. So Cameron and I come home extremely nervous, our hearts pounding in our chests. My dad and Mia are sitting around the kitchen table, accompanied by Jayden, who is standing with a glass of water in his hand. When we enter the room, everyone stops talking and waits for us to notice the letters with our names on them.
• "Look what arrived this morning," Mia finally says, obviously as nervous and impatient as we are.
• I look at my stepbrother who is standing next to me like a stick. Our future hangs in the balance right now, in this kitchen, with the whole family watching us with anticipation.
• "Let's open it together."
• With our hearts in our mouths, we both nod and take the letters our family hands us. We exchange one last look, a small forced smile on our faces, and rip open the envelopes at the same time.
• "Yes!" Cameron screams.
• "You got in? Wow!" his mother exclaims in surprise.
• Joy spreads throughout the room, mixing shouts and tears. I imagine heartfelt, warm, happy hugs. I stand there, unable to take my eyes off the few words written on the piece of paper I hold between my fingers: waitlist. What does that mean, waitlist? My breathing becomes more and more irregular and I feel like I'm suffocating. I'm not accepted. I think I'm going to throw up. I need air. Completely panicked, I open my mouth and try to breathe in some oxygen, but nothing works. I'm not accepted, damn it. I'm going to cry. Right there, in the kitchen, surrounded by my family, I see my dream of going to Seattle slip away. No gang of friends in the Emerald City, no living with my best friends, no new life in a new city. Nothing.
• "Are you okay, sweetheart?"
• My father's voice becomes distant, almost unreal. I am completely stunned by the news. I have to get out of here; I have to do something or I'll ruin everything. I throw the piece of paper to the ground, trampling it as I storm out into the garden. I hear voices trying to catch up with me, but I don't listen and run towards the beach. I stop at the shore, my sandals covered in wet sand, and enjoy the movement of the waves as they slide over my skin. I wipe my tear-soaked cheeks with the back of my hand, but the waves keep coming. I just can't believe it...
• ***
• Sitting on the sand, my legs curled up against my chest and my head resting on my knees, I stare at the horizon and try to calm my breathing. I snap out of my thoughts when I feel someone sitting next to me. The light breeze of this early evening brings with it the scent of a perfume I know all too well.
• "How are you feeling?"
• I shrug without saying anything. My gaze still fixed on the ocean, I try to swallow the tears that come back. Arms wrap around my body, forcing me to bury my face in them. A hand rests on my hair, stroking it gently, making my heart beat slower and my breathing more regular.
• "I'm sorry, little sis, really."
• "It's not your fault. I should have paid more attention this year and had better results."
• I pull away from his grip and look into his eyes. He seems genuinely upset about the situation, and I am very grateful for that.
• "Maybe someone will give up their spot and you'll get in, right?"
• "Cam, you read the letter, I have to wait for three people to drop out. That's huge."
• I am devastated. I was stupid to want to enjoy my last year of high school, and now I have a more than mediocre profile. I knew the competition would be tough, but not to the point of not getting in the first time...
• "Not that much," he adds. "I don't know if they got in, but... I could still try to drown Tyler, push Holly down the stairs, and run Esther over with a car!"
• I turn to him in horror and discover a mischievous smile. He bursts out laughing and I can't help but push him into the sand.
• "You're terrible!"
• "Well, at least it made you smile!"
• He winks at me as he straightens up.
• "And it should also show you that three seats is not impossible."
• "Still three too many," I resign myself.
• Cameron lowers his head and plays with the small pieces of skin around his fingers. It's then that I realize I didn't congratulate him.
• "Sorry, I didn't even say congratulations on your score! I'm really happy for you..."
• I give him a sincere smile, crinkling my eyes even more from the tears that have made them red and swollen.
• " I know, don't worry."
• He leans in and kisses my forehead, wiping away the last tear rolling down my cheek.
• "You know, you're scary to look at. Look at your eyes, they look like they've been bitten by mosquitoes. You're ugly, sis!"
• He bursts out laughing at my offended expression at the little consideration.
• I push him back into the sand and laugh with him, for real, without forcing it. And it feels good.
• ***
• I turn off my phone, feeling both elated and depressed when I learn that the girls in Seattle have received a positive response to their application. I am officially the only one in the group who did not get the desired result, but Holly and Esther have tried their best to reassure me about the outcome of this situation, and I hope it will be as positive as they say. After all, we have planned to move in together and it is inconceivable that this will not happen. Even in the worst case, I can still enroll in the state university. It's better than nothing. With my tears dried and my mood somewhat lifted, I make my way back to the house. The garden table is already set for tonight's meal, and I notice a number of items that automatically bring a smile to my face: wooden chopsticks, Asian sauces, little cups filled with ginger, wasabi sachets... Happy with my discovery, I walk to the open bay window that leads to the kitchen and see my stepmother and Jayden there.
• - "Why is there sushi?" Mia asks her son, looking confused.
• I watch as he delicately moves the sushi from its original box onto a ceramic platter. Focused on his task, he doesn't see me enter the room.
• - "I wanted to buy them for tonight," he says.
• - "But I thought you didn't like sushi?"
• - "It's for..."
• He looks up at his mother and notices my presence. Leaving his sentence unfinished, he meets my gaze and stares at me for a few moments.
• - "Did you buy them?" I ask him, smiling from ear to ear.
• He just nods, and my heart melts like snow in the sun. It may not be much, but on this disastrous day, raw fish and rice can only soothe my grief. Yes, I am one of those who would kill for sushi!
• - "Thank you, it's... That's the best news of the evening," I manage to say.
• I think this is the greatest conversation we've ever had. At least on one side, since he still hasn't said a word to me since I spoke to him. His eyes are still on me, he remains silent, creating a very awkward atmosphere in the kitchen.
• - "It was nice of you, Jayden, to make that gesture," his mother thanks him, placing a reassuring hand on his forearm.
• This contact seems to snap him out of his lethargy, as his frozen expression immediately changes to a cold and distant one.
• - "I bought it for Astrid. I know she likes Asian food, it wasn't to please you," he adds nonchalantly, looking in my direction.
• Speechless, I hesitate between gouging out his eyes and crying like a baby in the face of such contempt. How can I find this guy so handsome when I've never found anyone so stupid? Annoyed, I cross my arms over my chest and try to calm my breathing.
• - "You're misinformed," I almost attack him. "She likes Chinese, not Japanese. And I'm the only one in this house who likes sushi."
• My retort has the effect of stopping him in his tracks.
• - "So does Cameron," he replies, undeterred by our increasingly heated exchange.
• - "He's never had it before."
• - "Then it's perfect, he'll try it tonight."
• - "Please," Mia interrupts before I can say anything else. "This is not the time for you to argue over a simple meal. If sushi is going to be a source of contention between you, we won't buy it anymore."
• She looks at both of us. Of course, avoiding the subject rather than addressing it directly is a classic in this family. Jayden has continued to transfer the sushi from the box to the plate, looking indifferent to our discussion. As for me, I'm a nervous wreck waiting to explode. I want to kill him. I thought he was becoming more sociable with me... Before I jump on him and wrap my hands around his - magnificent, by the way - throat, I'd better get upstairs. Jayden White, you're just a loser and your sushi can go where the sun don't shine.