Chapter 13

• Ambre
• It's official, today is our last day of classes at this school that has welcomed us for the past four years. Finally, we will graduate, and the next time we set foot in a classroom, it will be as university students, whether in Seattle or elsewhere. I feel a slight pang in my heart at the thought of leaving this place where we have all grown and matured, where we have met, talked, and appreciated each other, never to be separated again.
• As we arrive at the parking lot, we realize that these are our last moments here. It is carnival day for the future graduates, of which we are a part, and for this occasion the entire school is decorated with as many banners as colorful pom-poms. At the entrance to the school, the teachers hand out bundles of confetti and help to create a happy and warm atmosphere. The loudspeakers, usually used only for the ringing of the bell, are now used for music. Shouts of joy, loud conversations and laughter surround us as we walk through the doors and enter the school. All the lockers are decorated with signs, balloons and photos that remind us of the years spent in the institution. The screens, which usually announce the latest news about the class schedule, show movies made by students of the art option.
• "This is crazy!" Tyler has positioned himself behind me, dressed as Peter Pan. He smiles from ear to ear, his eyes sparkling. I'm relieved to see that our discussion a few days ago hasn't changed the way we behave towards each other. He looks down at me and winks before continuing his contemplation.
• I think we all find our inner child at the sight of these decorations. They have gone all out and I almost feel nostalgic. Throughout the morning, the teachers organize fun activities, and then we have our afternoon off. Still on the school grounds, many sports games are set up by the students and we can enjoy the summer sun. Sitting on the grass with the girls, we have a front row seat to the football game the boys are playing on the field in front of us.
• "So how was your date with Tyler?" Holly asks me, struggling to get comfortable in her somewhat cumbersome fruit and vegetable costume.
• "It was... explosive!"
• "Explosive as in 'we hooked up and it was explosive'?" Holly jokes.
• "No, more like 'we fought like rotten fish on the sidewalk after I left the restaurant like a thief.'"
• "Wait, wait, wait," Esther interjects. "What did you do?"
• My best friends look at me, thunderstruck and completely lost. I sigh and continue:
• "He took me to a super romantic restaurant. It upset me, I don't know why. I had left with the idea that I would tell him that I wanted to remain friends, and... I got angry and walked out. He caught up with me and we talked!"
• "But I don't understand," Esther continues. "I thought you wanted to give him a chance to explain himself? I thought you still liked him?"
• "That's true," Holly adds. "But he acted like a jerk. You don't go out with a jerk twice."
• I raise my hands, trying to calm the girls who are getting a little too excited.
• "I realized I didn't want to be with him anymore, so I made things clear."
• "You did the right thing," Holly congratulates me.
• "But why?" Esther wonders. "You were able to talk about yourself, isn't that the most important thing?"
• I lower my head and start fidgeting with the little skins on my fingers, extremely uncomfortable with what I'm about to confess. When we had ice cream with Tyler the other night, we talked a lot and ended up continuing our conversation in a more relaxed manner. He finally told me that he wouldn't have minded getting back together with me to make things right if I'd wanted to. And all of a sudden it hit me.
• "I think I like someone else."
• "How so?" Holly asks, raising an eyebrow and looking at me.
• "I can't stop thinking about this mistake with Jayden," I begin, emphasizing the last word, "and I think I like him...a little."
• "Is that a joke?" Esther replies in a sarcastic tone.
• "I know!" I reply, trying to make my confession less absurd. "It's like he's my brother, but there's something about him that attracts me."
• "He is your brother, for God's sake!"
• "'They live under the same roof, but that doesn't make him a family member. Stop it, Esther!" Holly snaps and starts to pick some blades of grass near her. "Are you sure you like him? Maybe it's just that he's a little distant with you? Distant people often attract..."
• "Distant? Don't you mean ungrateful, mean or even insufferable?"
• My answer makes Holly laugh.
• "And you still like him?" she adds jokingly.
• "I know it's ridiculous. Maybe it's his 'I don't care' attitude that makes me want to go to him... Honestly, I don't know. I try not to ask myself too many questions. I feel guilty even imagining such things."
• I look up at the girls. While Holly looks at me with tenderness, Esther seems bored, almost judging me. I know it's not the most natural thing in the world, but she's my best friend. Shouldn't she be supportive and understanding?
• "Well," Holly continues, "it's not that bad. You're not in love with your stepbrother, it's just physical. You just have to find someone else."
• "Stop saying stepbrother, it makes me sick," I reply, almost disgusted.
• "Anything to get him out of your head," she winks at me before putting a finger to her chin and looking at all the groups gathered around us.
• "High school might not be the best place, but what about Tyler's party this Saturday?"
• I shrug with little conviction. What if what I feel for Jayden isn't just a phase? And what if I don't want it to be a phase?
• ***
• Heavy noises above my head shake me from my lethargy. My room is plunged in darkness, and I struggle to decipher the reason for my awakening.
• What could it be in the middle of the night? The sounds intensified and became more regular. It took me a few minutes to realize what was happening.
• "Oh my God!"
• I grab the pillow beside me and press it against my ears. The ceiling continues to creak more and more. I hope this is a joke. He's not really having sex with a girl right above my head, is he?
• It certainly seems that way...
• I'm going to kill her.
• I sit up and decide to go downstairs, unable to stand another minute in this room listening to her erotic movie.
• Half asleep and with droopy eyes, I sit down on a stool in the kitchen after pouring myself a glass of water. I don't even bother to turn on the light. I don't want to wake anyone, including myself.
• He better hurry, I don't want to wait here for another three-quarters of an hour...
• I muttered, staring at the clock on the stove. After half an hour, I decide to go back upstairs. If he continues, he'll hear from me, I swear. Fortunately, there was a deafening silence in my room. Relieved, I slip under the covers, ready to go back to sleep. But my mind keeps replaying images of Jayden and that girl, naked and entwined, unable to erase them. A feeling of disappointment washes over me as I realize that Jayden did indeed bring a girl home tonight. I don't know what I hate more: him for his lack of discretion, or myself for the jealousy that grips me because she has found favor in his eyes.
• I close my eyes, actively trying to stop my thoughts, to clear my mind. I try to find a comfortable position to fall back asleep. Nothing works. I toss and turn in my bed, watching the hours go by. At the end of my tether, I finally get up. It's not even eight in the morning, the first morning of vacation, and I'm already awake. Great. I retrace my steps from last night and go to the kitchen, where I prepare a bowl of cereal with cold milk.
• "Hi."
• I look up and see a beautiful brunette I have never met before standing in front of me. Great, my new best friend. I grunt an unfriendly greeting as I stare at her. She's wearing an oversized t-shirt that reveals her bare shoulder and tight black shorts that show off her endless legs.
• "May I make myself some coffee?" she asks in a cheerful tone.
• "Make yourself at home," I say sharply.
• "Do you want one?"
• "No," I reply.
• I watch her prepare her breakfast, not bothered in the least by my bad mood. Just then, our national heartbreaker, the king of the night, Jayden, bursts into the kitchen. His hair is disheveled, he's wearing only sweatpants, and he didn't bother to put on a shirt. Classy.
• "Hey, Jay," the brunette coos.
• She walks up to him and wraps him in a warm hug. He puts a hand around her waist, returning her hug half-heartedly without saying a word, then heads to the fridge. He pulls out a bottle of orange juice, pours himself a glass, and leans against the counter in front of me.
• "It's really quiet here, it's super nice," she says.
• I hope she's joking. Quiet? Nothing was quiet last night.
• "It was nice until your circus last night," I spat, annoyed.
• "Sorry?" she asks incredulously.
• "You heard me."
• I lower my head to my bowl of cereal, not wanting to go into further details.
• "No, I really don't understand," the brunette, whose name I still don't know, says, looking at me incredulously. She may be pretty, but she's not the brightest bulb in the box. I let out a loud sigh, put my spoon down and speak up.
• "You could have been a little more discreet," I say, glaring at Jayden. "The walls are thin here, so if you are trying to make a porn movie, please have some respect. Just because the parents were out for the evening doesn't mean others didn't want to sleep."
• The lack of sleep is starting to take its toll and I'm losing my wit. Jayden is smiling at the other end of the table, but I don't let it get to me.
• "And what's so funny?" I ask sternly.
• "Nothing, really," he replies, meeting my gaze more seriously.
• "I'm really sorry, I didn't know you were in the room downstairs... I..." the girl stammers, apologizing.
• "It's okay, don't bother, the damage is done. But you, next time try to be more discreet when you want to have sex," I add to Jayden.
• He remains unimpressed as I stare at him. In another situation, I think I would have died of a heart attack at the sight of him - his body could make a saint sin. But this morning, it was that body that made me angry. With his sleepy head, his toned abs, and his boxer shorts casually pulled down to his hips, I felt like hitting him.
• "Ah! But..." the brunette tries to speak but is cut off.
• "Hey, guys!"
• Cameron enters the kitchen, looking just as tired. I'm not the only one who didn't sleep last night. He comes over and kisses me on the top of my head.
• "Did you sleep well, sis?"
• "Not really," I say. "And you?"
• "The same. You hogged all the blankets last night, it was unbearable." He turns to his brother.
• "Sorry, man. I'm not used to not being in my own bed."
• Wait...
• "Sorry, what did you just say?" I ask in disbelief.
• He continues to stare at me, clearly enjoying my confused expression. It wasn't him I heard last night... And now he's openly teasing me.
• "Anyway, I'm going to wake up Peter. He has to drive me back," he says.
• Then the memory hits me. I heard another male voice last night when the boys came back. I didn't connect the dots at the time because images were clouding my mind. I should have. It would have saved me the embarrassment.
• The brunette I scolded earlier stammers her apologies again and quickly leaves the kitchen to join the blonde upstairs.
• Did I really just have a jealous fit in front of Jayden? Huddled in my chair, I dare not take my eyes off my bowl. I play with the last soggy bits of cereal, aware that my display has not gone unnoticed by him: desperately looking for a way to disappear, someone, please?