Chapter 5 Pizzas, Jealousy, And Coffee Dates

• Ambre
• "So how many pizzas do we order?" Holly and Esther are sitting on my bed, studying the pizzeria's brochure. I'm sitting on my windowsill, a sheet of paper on my lap, my phone in one hand and a pen in the other, waiting for them to make a decision. Since my dad and Mia were going out to dinner with some friends in South San Francisco tonight, I decided it would be pizza and girl talk. Cameron made it clear that I shouldn't worry about them and that he would cook for Astrid and Jayden, leaving me some time to spend with my friends. So we have a quiet evening ahead of us to indulge in our favorite activities: greasy food, gossip, and TV shows. A good time is coming.
• "We'll take two mediums: one Mexican and..." Holly begins.
• "I want a Regina," Holly interrupts.
• I jot down her suggestions on the piece of paper in my hand, then dial the pizzeria's number to place the order.
• "In twenty minutes? Perfect. Thanks, bye." I hang up.
• "I'm already so hungry," Esther complains as I end the call.
• "Don't pretend, you'll eat a slice and be full. Like always," I scoff and roll my eyes.
• They laugh.
• "Anyway, you've been avoiding the subject all week, but you can't avoid it anymore," Holly begins.
• I know exactly what she wants to talk to me about and pout, slightly annoyed. I don't want to talk about Mr. Idiot at all. First because there is not much to say. Then, because since the beginning of the fight we narrowly avoided with Esther last weekend, I have been trying my best not to bring up the subject again. But God only knows how complicated it was with Holly and her curiosity.
• "There's nothing to say. He doesn't pay attention to me."
• "Again? How can he ignore someone who literally lives with him?" Holly wonders, doubtfully.
• "He can! And he does it perfectly."
• "Do you at least try to show interest in him?" Esther asks me, trying to sound distant.
• "Yes, I try to ask him questions, but he doesn't answer. He keeps me out of all his conversations and activities with his brother.
• Well, not all...
• "He's unbearable," I finish firmly.
• Just talking about him makes my jaw clench and the muscles in my neck tense. And that's nothing compared to the discomfort I feel when he walks into a room... I don't understand why he doesn't try to talk to me and integrate me into his little world, when he seems to adore my little sister and my father, whom he has made a real place in his life.
• "Anyway, it's only been a few days. We have to give him time," Esther tries to reassure me.
• "Anyway, I don't know how you manage to live with him," Holly continues, "he's so beautiful, it would break my heart if I were you and couldn't touch him."
• She puts her hand to her chest and sighs loudly. I pretend to be disgusted by what she's implying and try to hide my embarrassment as best I can. The memories of Monday that I had tried to push away come back, reminding me of the sad truth: the tingling in my stomach, the pounding of my heart, my inability to breathe, the intoxicating smell of his sweat. I think I was far from feeling disgusted at that moment. On the other hand, I prefer not to share this with them. I was sensitive to his attention because I was tired. It wasn't unusual, he lent me a sweatshirt. And the goose bumps, the butterflies in my stomach, it was surprise. An attraction to the unknown, to a facet of Jayden I didn't know, at least as far as I was concerned.
• That had to be it. Just tiredness...
• "Hey, that's for us!" Holly points, her index finger raised in response to the doorbell that just rang.
• Saved by the bell...
• I get up from the windowsill and rummage in my pocket for my wallet.
• "Leave it, it's on me," Esther offers before I have a chance to take anything out.
• "Are you sure?"
• "Yes, I'm sure."
• We thank her with a smile and I accompany her downstairs. When we get to the door, we open it for the poor delivery man we have kept waiting for several minutes. But when I pull the handle, my best smile on my lips, ready to apologize, no one is on the threshold. I furrow my brow and give my neighbor a questioning look. As confused as I am, she shrugs and lets me close the door behind us.
• "Did someone take the pizzas?" I call downstairs.
• "They're in the kitchen."
• I rush into the room, Esther behind me, and find Cameron trying to cook. My order is proudly displayed on the counter.
• "How much do I owe you for the pizzas?" Esther asks him.
• "Me? Nothing, I didn't pay," he replies, his head bent over the boiling water.
• "Then who did?" I insist, my eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
• "Jayden insisted on paying instead of me."
• He finally turns to us, a small embarrassed expression on his face indicating that he didn't really have a say in it. I squint in disbelief and clench my fists on my hips.
• "Why would he pay for my pizzas?"
• "I don't know, you can ask him!"
• Except that I'm really not in the mood for another silent confrontation with him...
• "Anyway, I doubt he would accept you reimbursing him," he adds.
• Since when does he do anything helpful? Anyway, I'm not going to chase after him to find out.
• "Consider yourself lucky that he made the first move," Cameron continues. "I love you both, but your little game of 'I'm ignoring you too' is getting old."
• He stops and looks me straight in the eye.
• "I want it to stop, all right?"
• I just nod my head slightly, aware that this situation is causing him as much, if not more, pain than it is causing me. He had already told me once how much he hated seeing us act like strangers. To see us avoiding each other and pretending that the other doesn't exist, even though we are in the same room. Unfortunately, I'm not the only one at fault in this story, but I'm not sure he talks about it much with his brother.
• "Do you know that 'I ignore you too' is not a real expression?" I taunt him.
• "Oh, shut up," he laughs, handing me the pizzas before gently pushing us toward the kitchen exit. "Go upstairs and join Holly. By now she must be wondering if you haven't run away from her."
• As I climb the stairs, all I can think about is what Cameron just told me. It's one of the first times we've talked about the situation between Jayden and me without beating around the bush. We've always pretended to ignore the subject, even though it's impossible not to see that something is wrong between us.
• What if his gesture was a way of offering me a truce?
• Maybe he realized that it can't go on like this, knowing that he's going to spend most of his summer here with me. Maybe, without wanting to tell me in words, he's making me understand through his actions. Maybe when he lent me his sweatshirt on Monday night, it was also his way of taking a step towards me. Maybe he felt something different when he stood in front of me and... I stumble on the last step, almost dropping the two hard-earned pizzas on the floor.
• "What are you doing back there?" Esther mocks me.
• "Nothing," I mutter.
• A strand of hair covers half my face and I grimace at myself for being so stupid and distracted. Now I'm starting to completely delude myself about Jayden's supposed actions.
• He wants to call a truce? It's nice to dream.
• Him being helpful to me? That must have torn him apart.
• Him being sensitive to my beautiful eyes? I'm going crazy.
• Stop it!
• ***
• There is a crazy crowd at Echo tonight. Almost all the tables upstairs are taken and the dance floor is barely visible due to the dense crowd. Tonight I'm working the ground floor with Holly and I'm more than excited. The only downside is our third partner: Ginger. She stands at five feet tall, oozes sex appeal, long silky blonde locks to die for, mesmerizing green eyes, never-ending legs, and milky white skin that begs to be touched. Officially, I hate her. Unofficially, I'm insanely jealous. She's a little older than Holly and me, gentle, charming, and always smiling - which earns her exaggerated tips. Of course, on a night when all my friends are here, she has to look her best...
• "Hey, Ambre!" Just as I'm about to reach the bar, a hand wraps around my arm and stops me in my tracks. I turn to see Tyler. I had almost forgotten him since yesterday...
• "Do you need anything?" I ask as he smiles and lets go of my arm.
• "Sorry, I hope I'm not interrupting your work."
• Seeing his obvious embarrassment, I put my tray down and focus on him.
• "I have five minutes. Go ahead," I invite him to continue.
• "I was thinking that maybe you would agree to have coffee with me sometime next week."
• "A coffee?" I repeat in surprise.
• "Yes. Or, unless you prefer a meal, or just a snack."
• "No. I'm just surprised."
• Stunned by his request, I stare at him intently for several seconds, as if he were about to disappear like a mirage from my imagination.
• "You don't have to if you don't want to," he continues carefully.
• "I have to get back to work," I stammer.
• I step back hesitantly and he leaves, trotting back to his table.
• What was that all about? Does he just want to talk, or does he want more? And do I want that?
• "Holly!"
• I motion to my friend, who comes over with a tray of empty glasses and a ponytail that bounces with every step she takes toward me.
• "Tyler just asked me out for coffee this week."
• "Seriously? Did you accept?"
• "Should I have refused?"
• She glances at his table before answering:
• "You don't have to think of it as a date. You are friends now, so I think you can go with confidence. You'll talk and see how it goes."
• She smiles tenderly at me and tries to give me an encouraging look.
• "You're right..."
• I thank her, reassured by her support, and let her go back to work. The atmosphere in the room is lively and the bar is still full. Customers continue to stream in through the front doors, and as I turn to face the newcomers, my heart skips a beat. Jayden is there, a smile on his face and a black t-shirt on his back. His eyes sweep across the room and land on me. As soon as our eyes meet, he returns to his impassive expression. I will never get used to it. He stands there, staring at me for a few seconds, then one of his buddies taps him on the shoulder and he turns away, following his group to the back of the room. Jayden White, you really are an enigma...