Chapter 7

• “Aspyn thinks we need a wolf puppy now.” Emersyn walked over to Noah. He’d come out when too many people were in the kitchen area. She didn’t blame him. She still had to fight to stay when the rooms were crowded. Remembering she was safe always helped a bit.
• Noah watched her walk toward him. His focus was always on her when she was with him. It made her feel so important and needed. “I think the pup might have a different idea when he found out he was stuck with a group of tigers.” When she reached him, he pulled up the collar of her jacket and did the zipper up that one inch she hadn’t.
• “I hope that pup’s human is okay.” She leaned into him and put her hands on his chest. She could feel the heat coming off him through the coat he wore. “When are you guys going?”
• He gently touched the side of her face, moving the hair back from her eyes, “in the morning.” His hands still shook slightly when he touched her, but the fear wasn’t as plain in his eyes now. She rarely flinched if he forgot to move slowly, so she knew he was going to touch her. She took that as a win for both of them. Their entire relationship was haunted by things that had been. It was hard to switch it off and reprogram your mind to accept that it was over and would never happen again.
• “Are you upset I’m going?” he searched her face.
• “No,” she blew out a breath, “sorry. My mind got away from me for a second.” She leaned closer and inhaled his scent. It always grounded her, brought her back to the here and now. When he wasn’t here, she kept a few of his unwashed t-shirts tucked under her pillow for those moments she needed him.
• “Mm, I understand that.”
• He touched her chin lightly, hesitantly. He struggled with contact in the first few moments and needed constant reassurance, but that was okay. She didn’t care if it took forever; she’d do it over and over that long. Just as long as they had each other, anything else didn’t matter. He leaned down and kissed her mouth softly. Each kiss from him became easier to accept. She smiled against his mouth.
• He straightened and gave her a suspicious look, “what?”
• “Nothing.” She touched her mouth and then smiled at him. “Each time feels like that first time. My head gets light; my heart speeds up…”
• “That’s all good, right?” The doubt was in his voice again.
• “Yes.”
• He relaxed a bit. “I keep thinking this will get easier, but it’s not.”
• “I’m glad.” She gently rubbed her hand over his jaw. She liked that his beard was thin and trimmed. “If it’s easy, then we’ll take advantage of each other, and I don’t want that.”
• “Not jumping out of our skin every time one of us moves would be nice though.” He leaned his head and captured her hand between his jaw and shoulder.
• “You were okay with movement last night,” he took her hand and kissed the palm. “You almost slept on me the whole night.”
• “Sorry.” His brow creased.
• “I’m not. It was nice being close all night.” She felt her cheeks heat. “I get enough nights of the big empty bed.”
• “I didn’t know I was doing it.” A look of confusion lit his eyes. “Sleeping the entire night is new to me.”
• “Me as well.” She stretched up on her toes and kissed his mouth softly. “If I planned something for us to do when you get back, would you be okay with that?”
• “Like what?”
• She shrugged, not even sure of what she was thinking. “I don’t know yet. A snowy picnic? A hike into the hills? I’m not sure.”
• “Just the two of us?”
• She nodded.
• His eyes searched her face, and she wondered if other couples felt like she did when he looked at her that way. It was as if the rest of the world just faded away, and it was only her in his. It was an incredible feeling. “Okay. I think I’d like that.”
• “Yeah? Just the two of us and nature?”
• He nodded and then cupped the back of her head. Emersyn felt like butterflies were in her stomach, and she loved that he did that.
• “You two should get a room.”
• Noah lifted his head and sent Blair a cold stare. “Just the two of us and nature sounds really good.” He kissed her mouth softly and then straightened up.
• She leaned into him so he wouldn’t walk away yet. “Do you know where you’re going yet?”
• He put his arm around her and then started walking toward the house, “No.” He glanced at her, “doesn’t matter where it is; I’ll do whatever is needed.”
• “I know you will.” She was so proud of him. The way he was saving people. She knew she wasn’t brave enough to do something like that. He hadn’t really said much, but others had, and she’d listened in. The last time the teams went out, they got the man who had beaten Noah. When she asked if he still lived, Noah said, ‘for now.’ She was proud of him for that too. She wasn’t a fighter, but if Lindon was in front of her now, she couldn’t say he’d be alive moments later.
• She looked around, she still had trouble going anywhere other than Ed’s and Blair’s, but Noah was needed out there, and she would never resent him leaving, not when others needed him as much as she did. Each time he came back, the haunted look in his eyes was a little less. Emersyn wasn’t fool enough to think someday it would be gone forever—she didn’t believe in fantasy.