“So he just screws her up there while you sit around down here?”
It sounded weird when he said it like that. I mean, it had always been weird to me, but I guess I’d gotten used to it.
When I looked up at him smiling at me, I couldn’t take my eyes off his handsome face. His cheeks were shadowed like he hadn’t shaved. I had a sudden, irresistible compulsion to touch him. And before I could stop myself ... I did. My heart thudded in my chest. It felt like someone else had moved my hand to brush against his face.
“What’s this for?” he asked as my fingers traced his jaw.
I was embarrassed, but loved the rough texture of his skin too much to pull my hand back right away. A warm heaviness filled my stomach. His skin was still damp. When I pulled my hand back, I rubbed my fingers along my lips like some kind of freak.
“I don’t know,” I whispered with his salty flavor on my lips.
His tongue wet his own lips as he pinned me with a sharper gaze. Then his eyes got darker and he studied me like he’d never seen me before.
“You’re gonna be beautiful someday,” he whispered.
His eyes dropped to my chest again and lingered. My nipples were so hard it was like I wasn’t even wearing a t-shirt. Even worse, I’d taken off my bra when I’d gotten home from school and changed out of our uniform, so he could see every detail. Then his eyes dropped to my bare legs and feet. Everywhere his eyes passed crackled with electricity.
“But not now?” I asked with a quaver in my voice.
He was so hot. It made my chest ache that he didn’t think I was beautiful now. I lifted my shoulders and pushed out what little I had. My boobs had grown the last couple of years, but were still just handfuls topped with pokey nipples.
“Yeah, you’re beautiful now, too, but someday you’re gonna be a real heart breaker.” His comment made it feel like butterflies beat against my skin.
I could hear Joe’s bed was still squeaking, but at least what’s-her-name had shut up for a while. I wondered about so many things that didn’t make sense. Mark was making me so crazy, but I couldn’t deny it anymore. I wanted to ask him if he would kiss me, but I knew he would just laugh. Instead of asking, I leaned closer and put my hand on his sweaty shoulder for balance. His eyebrows drew together, but he didn’t say anything or pull away.
I closed my eyes so I wouldn’t see if he made a face. My first kiss was sweet, but only lasted a moment. I didn’t really know what to do, but just pressing against his lips made my stomach heat even more. When I pulled back, he let out a slow breath as I opened my eyes.
For a moment he had a look of wonder on his face, then he frowned. “Hold on, Squirt, you can’t just kiss people like that.”
“Did I do it wrong?” My hands covered my mouth. The idea that I’d screwed up my first kiss hurt like a physical pain. Mark was going to think I was a total head-case, if he didn’t already. “Shit.”
His eyes widened. “No, hey, it’s okay. You did just fine, but I’m a little old for you, yeah?”
“I don’t care,” I said, embarrassed by the tears welling in my eyes. “I just wanted to kiss you.”
“Wait, just talk to me. Tell me what’s going on.”
How can I do that when I don’t know myself?
Mark reached over to grip my shoulder with his hand. His touch made me shiver and confused me even more. So I dropped off the stool and ran upstairs to my room. Then I threw myself on my bed before rolling on my back and covering my face with a pillow, crying in embarrassment for what I’d just done.
My body felt like an engine revved up to the red line. My heart was beating so hard and fast that I could feel it all over. I pulled the pillow down harder and screamed in frustration at my lack of control. What the hell was wrong with me? It felt like little sparks were crawling all over my body and I had no idea how to make it stop.
I was still trembling a few minutes later when Mark came in to sit on my bed. He touched my bare calf and rubbed it for a minute. The heat in my stomach exploded into lava that flowed lower, but I refused to remove the pillow.
“Hey, come on. Talk to me.”
I took a deep shuddering breath when I let him push the pillow up. The tracks of my tears were suddenly cold. Concern was etched into Mark’s face. I could hear what’s-her-name making those stupid noises again and it suddenly pissed me off. I was so aggravated that the truth jumped out before I could stop it.