Chapter 4

• After he rubbed me back and forth for a bit, he rubbed his fingertips in circles at the top of my vee. My hips responded on their own, following the steady rhythm he’d set. My mouth was stuck open as I stared into his flushed face. He studied me while he continued to wind me higher.
• “Cum for me,” he begged. “Let me feel it.”
• I didn’t know what he meant, but something was happening that had never happened before. I pushed against his hand at a frantic pace, knowing instinctively this was the way to find the relief I needed. He kissed my open lips again, but I could only breathe his name.
• “Mark, yes, Mark.”
• I don’t know how to describe what happened next. My eyes shut on their own, but I saw colors shooting like fireworks. My body convulsed like I was being electrocuted, but I wasn’t scared because Mark was with me. Even though this had never happened before, I knew it was what all those people on the videos had felt. All those stupid diagrams in health class finally made sense! So many thoughts rocketed through my head that I’d have to write a book to explain them all.
• “Wow,” I whispered at last, my legs shaking like the girls in the videos on the internet. The tingling that had been tormenting me for so long faded into a warm contentment.
• When I came back to myself, Mark was sitting up giving me a nervous smile. He pulled his hand out of my shorts and did the grossest thing ever ... he licked his fingers! I must have made a face because he chuckled silently.
• “We never did this,” he said to me. “It never happened.”
• No! Panic gripped me. How could he make me feel like that and then tell me never again? I gathered my t-shirt to cover my breasts. The sudden modesty and my pained expression must have communicated something to Mark, because he got a worried look on his face.
• When I sat up, distracted, I recognized the scent in the room. It was the same as what Joe always had to cover up with air freshener. And I realized it came from our bodies.
• “Seriously, this was a mistake,” he said, the worry lines deepening to a frown. “Never again.”
• Something struck me then. Mark was scared! He’d only stressed never again because he really wanted to. I glanced down at his tented shorts. His cock looked mammoth through the fabric. The panic fled as I realized what it meant.
• “It wasn’t that big before. What does it look like?”
• “What? Never mind,” he said as he stood up. “I am not going there with you.”
• “I thought guys had to cum when they got like that or it hurt.”
• He stopped at the door and looked back with a cocked eyebrow. “I’ll live.”
• “I could help.” He stopped and shut his eyes. I thought maybe there was a chance he’d let me, so I added, “If you show me how.”
• “This isn’t a game. Your father would kill me!” He was pleading and I felt the power I had over him again. It was just as intoxicating as the pleasure he’d made me feel.
• “I just want to understand how it works. You can show me at your house if you want. No one will know.”
• He rubbed under his nose. I realized he wanted to smell me on his fingers when he held them there with his eyes shut. Then he walked out of my doorway and down the hall. I heard him stop next to Joe’s room. The bed was squeaking again and now I knew why what’s-her-name was making so much noise.
• I got up and quickly tugged on my shirt. When I followed him out my doorway, Mark had his fingers in his hair and was staring away from me at the ceiling. The rhythmic creaks and fleshy slaps from Joe’s room filled the silence between us.
• “Mark?” I whispered.
• He didn’t turn around. “No one can know.”
• “I swear.”
• “Come on.”