Chapter 4 Heights Of Misery P@Rt Two

• Zoya’s P.O.V
• I thought I could rely on Ravi to help me heal from the wounds inflicted upon me… Until I saw the extra pair of slippers that weren't mine outside the door. I almost never saw my cousin even though we lived in the same apartment due to our conflicting schedules — when I wasn't home, neither was she — so I didn't think much about her footwear being there when it wasn't supposed to be.
• Then I heard those sounds of pleasure, and I saw my fiancé and my cousin fucking on the couch. My world had fallen apart right then and there, and I had thought that it could not get any worse than that. But by some cruel twist of fate, it still did.
• The tears were back in my eyes, but this time I did not dare to let them fall. I had enough of crying, and our neighbors probably heard my humiliating sobs of defeat. I was not going to cry anymore. I was going to get myself together and leave without a tear falling down my cheek.
• I dialed my mother's number out of instinct. Whenever Ravi let me down — once, we had an argument and in a fit of anger he told me that he never believed I would become a doctor like I always wanted to, and that I was better off staying at home to care for the place until he got a decent job, then I could take care of him and our future children after marriage — mom was always the one I turned to for comfort.
• “Ma,” I said immediately after the ringing stopped and she picked up the phone. “Ma, can I stay with you for the night? Something happened. I don't want to talk about it, but I feel really—”
• “Zoya,” my mother interrupted me. I stopped talking immediately. She never calls me by my first name unless I did something wrong.
• “Yes?” I asked in a small, frightened voice. What was it this time? After the unwanted sexual advances from my superior, the unveiled infidelity, the called-off engagement, how could this day possibly get even worse?
• “I am disappointed in you,” my mother said.
• I felt as if the world had tilted off its axis and stopped spinning right then and there. I felt my heart drop to my stomach, as if I had committed a crime, even though I knew I was perfectly in the clear. My mother had that effect on me, and it was because of that, that I didn't know whether to hate her or to love her sometimes.
• “I am disappointed that you let a good man like Ravi get away from you,” my mother continued, as if her words didn’t just break me into a million pieces. “You should have begged him to stay! You should have asked for forgiveness! You clearly were not doing enough for him; you should have gotten on your knees and begged him not to leave you.” She sighed. “I can't believe you ruined your future just like that.”
• All I saw was red. Blinding, vicious red. This was my mother, and she was telling me that it was my fault Ravi cheated on me? This was my own goddamn mother, and she was acting as if marrying Ravi was my best shot at making my life better, when I was a fucking medical resident about to be transferred to New York City Hospital. (Granted, my chances for that were also most likely bombed, but she didn't know that.)
• I opened my mouth to speak. I wanted to tell her that I didn't need to beg Ravi for forgiveness when I hadn't done anything wrong. I didn't need him to make my life better, and I certainly didn't want him back after what he did to me and how he handled me when I found out. But the words died on my tongue yet again, because this was arguably the more heart-breaking scenario for me. Ravi's cruelty, I could handle — he wasn't always there for me when I needed him, so I guess that on some level, I had expected this from him.
• But this was my own mother, and it broke my heart to hear her say that she didn't think that I was enough, that I couldn't make it far on my own.
• So I didn't say anything. I couldn't. I just hung up.
• I took a few moments to just breathe and be alone with my thoughts. Perhaps that was not the best idea, considering everything that I had gone through in just a single day, but all of these things had been slowly piling up, and I was beginning to feel the weight of it all, the gravity of this upheaval, the largeness of this monster.
• But before I could even calm my rapid breathing, my phone rang. It was not my mother, but the number registered told me that it was a call from the hospital.
• I sniffed, collecting myself, before answering. “Hello?”
• “Miss Mehra, you are a difficult person to get a hold of,” said the voice on the other end. It didn't sound like Maya, nor did I expect it to, since making official calls on behalf of the hospital was not in the job description of a head nurse.
• “Sorry, I was in another call,” I said. “May I ask what this is about?”
• I could hear the smile on the woman's voice as she spoke, but the words she said were not at all good news. “I called to inform you that upon the end of your residency, as per the chief surgeon's decision, you are to be transferred to a clinic in the Sapphire Mountains.”
• There it was. The cherry on the top. The icing on this shit cupcake.
• “Alright. Thank you,” was all I could manage to say.
• “No problem!” she said. “The details have been sent to you via email. Have a good night!”
• A good night, huh? I didn't know if that was still possible, or if it was even meant to happen for me, but what I did know was that there was only one thing that could make me feel better – to get the hell away from everything and everyone. And that was exactly what I was going to do.
• I didn't care if night was falling. I just wanted to leave.