Chapter 34

• I reached out and played with the hair that had fallen on his forehead, it was softer than I had thought it would be. “Most think I am insane.” I raised an eyebrow at him, remembering he had asked me that. Shame filled his eyes. “My fourth,” I looked down trying to remember, “It might have been the fifth foster home, had me locked up in a place with a lot of sick, and sometimes scary, people. They did horrible things to me, trying to pick me apart and figure me out.” I bit my lip, not sure how much to tell him. I had never shared this with anyone, but something inside me told me I should. “I broke for a little while after that. So many emotions to avoid, I couldn’t sense people well there, and I felt like I was wandering around lost every second I had to stay inside those walls.” I took a deep breath and then continued. “I’m not crazy. I just have to sort through the never-ending flashes in my mind, and my own thoughts sometimes get mixed up with them.” I shrugged, “or I think I’m thinking something but then say it out loud.” I touched his hair again, not wanting to look at his eyes yet. I don’t know what I would have done if he’d judged me now, like most did. “I couldn’t stay in school, the teachers thought I tried to be bad, but I didn’t.” I shook my head. “So maybe I’m not as smart as I could be, but I never forget once I’ve read something or I’ve seen it…” I finally looked at his eyes, they weren’t cold or judging. “I just…” I wasn’t sure of the word, “misplace things inside my head sometimes and have to find them again.” He was completely focused on every word I was saying, it made me feel good. “Because I pick up on so much around me, in addition to the noise in my head, I haven’t been around a lot of people.” I shrugged slightly, “so I don’t always know what I should, or shouldn’t, do.” I gave him a little smile. “And if you weren’t helping control the flashes right now, I wouldn’t have been able to say all of that and have it make sense the first time.” I leaned down and kissed his forehead, like he had mine.
• His fingers squeezed my waist tightly, and his jaw clenched a few times. “I have talked to the elders and many others to see if there is anyone that can help you learn control.” He gave me a soft look, one that I’d never seen before, but it gave me warm feelings, so I would remember it always. “I think my heart just grew inside my chest.” He said quietly. “To survive what you have and cope with so much all the time. Yet, here you are, so gentle and full of goodness. You look after everyone, but yourself. I believe you may be the strongest, bravest person I have ever had the pleasure to know.”
• I tilted my head and looked down at him, trying to sort through what he said. “I’m not very strong at all,” I smirked, “and I am much better at hiding then being brave.”