Chapter 7

• Trent
• I know why. It’s a dumb statement. We both know why this is happening.
• Julia sighs a little. Her shoulders slump and her head lowers with them. “I’m not using you,” she says.
• “Good,” I say. “Because I’m not using you either.”
• “I’ve always liked you. And if you’d like to talk about that someday, we can. But…” She looks at me. Places her hands on the sides of my face. Blinks twice. “Not tonight, OK? Can we just not think too hard about it?”
• It, meaning the sex. Or maybe the funeral. I’m not sure.
• I decide to say nothing in response. I’m drunk, I’m sad, I’m horny, and I’ve got Julia Anderson sitting in my lap.
• And we’re naked.
• “Come here,” I say, placing my hands on her head. “I want to kiss you for a while.”
• She smiles into the kiss that comes next. It’s a nice kiss. A slow kiss. One where our mouths fit together perfectly, and move just the right way, and there’s nothing awkward or distracting about it. It’s just nice.
• After a little bit of that I find myself thinking too hard again.
• Maybe slow and careful is a bad thing? Maybe what we really need tonight is something hard, and angry, and quick?
• She reaches down between her legs and begins playing with herself again. Rubbing her pussy with the flat tips of her fingers as she stares into my eyes.
• Yeah. Slow and careful is for another night.
• I reach down and take my cock in my hand. Pulling and tugging on it. I’m already fully erect but there’s something intimate about masturbating in front of someone. And doing it together is even hotter.
• Her other hand rests on my shoulder and a chill rises up my spine.
• This girl. This pretty thing I’ve known almost my whole life. She is the dream girl. She is the one I’ve always wanted. She might even be the one I’ve always loved.
• But I get a sick, sick feeling in my stomach at that thought.
• Don’t think about it, Trent. Not tonight. If you want to have an existential crisis over your choice of best friends, do it tomorrow. Or next week, or next year. Hell, maybe that’s a philosophical question that never needs to be answered?
• “How do you like it?” I ask her, pushing my wandering thoughts aside. I want to be with her right now, not the swirling doubts and questions in my head.
• “With you?” she says. Her words slur just a little bit, reminding me that we just downed eleven shots. “I don’t care.”
• “You don’t care?” I ask. Jesus. What is wrong with me? Why am I talking?
• “Why are we talking?” she asks. “We’re supposed to be… you know. Fucking.”
• I slide my hands down to her shoulders, then down to her breasts and cup them. She has always had nice tits and they look just as good tonight as they did back when she was seventeen.
• “I like that,” she murmurs. Her hand on my shoulder slides down to my chest. Then she curls her fingers and brushes them back and forth across my nipple.
• That chill again. It rides all the way up my spine.
• It’s telling me to be careful but I don’t feel like listening anymore.
• I pull her hand away from between her legs and say, “That’s my job,” as I flatten my fingers across her lower belly and slip my thumb down onto her clit.
• She hisses in a breath between her teeth when I begin rubbing her clit and then closes her eyes. “Yes,” she says. “It is.”
• I could make this end. Not by saying no, but by saying yes. Just put my cock inside her, fuck her till we come, and then take her to bed and fall asleep.
• But something stops me.
• “Don’t stop,” she whispers, reaching down to push my hand off my cock. She grabs it in her palm, squeezing and tugging, and then I’m the one hissing in air between my teeth and closing my eyes.
• Yup. That’s it. Just close your eyes and pretend she’s any other girl.
• She leans down to kiss me and I decide to take my own advice. “Lift up,” I say, grabbing her hips with both hands to urge her. She does, and then without any more prodding, she slips my cock between her legs and I slide in past her wetness.
• “Oh, fuck,” I moan. Because she feels so good. Her pussy is good and tight and when she sits back down in my lap she contracts her muscles around my shaft.
• We pause for a moment, letting the lust take over. And then she begins moving. Up and down, then back and forth. I grip her ass, helping her, and then lean back a little so she can lean forward.
• Her long hair brushes over my chest as she moves. Her forehead pressed against mine as she begins to breathe quicker and harder. Little moans escaping past her lips.
• I could do this all night. I could do this forever.
• But that kind of sex comes with feelings and we’re not doing feelings tonight. So I say, “Hold on,” as I grab her ass, scoot forward, and stand up—taking her with me.
• “What are you doing?” She half laughs.
• “Taking you into the dark,” I say.
• “Huh?”
• But I don’t answer her or explain what that means. Just carry her down the hallway to my bedroom, kick the door all the way open with my foot, and then place her on the bed.
• My cock slips out, but that’s OK. I reach back to the door, close it to hide the light from the living room, and then kneel on the bed, her body between my thighs, as I grab her ass and push her up towards the headboard.
• She giggles, reaching for me, her fingertips finding the curve of my shoulder as I knee her legs open wider and slip my cock back inside her pussy.
• She lifts her knees up until her calves are just below my shoulders so I can penetrate her deeper.
• “Julia,” I say, holding myself up with hands propped on the mattress. And then I lean down, my chest brushing against her breasts, and kiss her mouth.
• This time I don’t think. We don’t fit perfectly. It’s sloppy, and quick. With tongues twisting together and heavy breathing.
• I thrust into her. Once, very hard, and she digs her fingernails into the skin of my biceps. When I pull back she grips me tighter, but my forward thrust is more demanding and deeper and this makes her gasp.
• Fuck her till she comes. That’s all this is.
• So that’s what I do. I start going faster. Harder. Until my hips are pounding hers and my balls are slapping against her ass.
• “Yes,” she moans. “Like that. I need it like that.”
• Which I refuse to hear, or think about, or read into… fuck it. We’re fucking, that’s all this is. One night of weakness—
• “Trent,” she breathes. “Yes, Trent. More. I need more.”
• I go faster, hammering her with more force then I’ve used during sex before. Scooting her up the bed until her head is pressed against the wooded headboard and the whole bed is moving with us. Creaking and squeaking as it hits the wall in perfect rhythm of my thrusting cock.
• She threads her fingers into my hair, pulling my face down to hers, and we kiss. Or try to, but our momentum and motion is too much to maintain contact.
• “Come,” I tell her. “I need you to come.”
• “Slow down,” she says, wiggling underneath me.
• But I don’t want to slow down. Slow means something else and that’s not what this is. Lovemaking is slow. Fucking is fast.
• But her legs wrap around my middle, squeezing me and preventing me from continuing my pounding.
• “Yeah,” she says, when I give in. “Like that.”
• ‘Like that’ is… not fucking.
• “Oh, God,” she says. “You feel so damn good inside me. Do it just like that.”
• ‘Like that’ is… slow, and careful, and perfect.
• “Now kiss me, Trent Turner. Because I’m about to come all over your cock.”
• I don’t want to kiss her. I know what’ll happen if I kiss her. I will—
• “Oh, hell, yes,” she moans into my mouth. Because I’m already kissing her. And this time it’s perfect, like it was before. This time it’s real. It’s a kiss like no other.
• And even though I want this whole encounter to be meaningless and just another knee-jerk reaction at the end of a long, sad day… I can’t quite talk myself into that. I can’t quite make myself believe the lie.
• Because it’s not just that. It’s not just fucking.
• This is Julia fucking Anderson and I have liked her since the day we met.
• She bucks her back, digging her nails so far into the skin behind my neck, I’m certain she’s drawing blood. And she goes still, and stiff. Her mouth opens wide and I realize I’m still kissing her. But not just her mouth now, I’m kissing her neck. I’m nipping her earlobe, and the full weight of my body is pressed down on hers.
• She moans, “God, yes,” into my ear, sending that chill up my spine once again as her pussy becomes slick with her release.
• I’m still fucking her slow. Didn’t even realize it. Long, slow pushes combined with agonizing pull backs.
• And then I’m there too.
• I rise up, pulling out of her as I sit back on the bed. Hand reaching for my cock so I can pump the come out, aiming for her belly in the dark. But an instant later she’s on her knees in front of me. Hand on my chest, pushing me backwards. She takes my cock right out of my hand and the next thing I know her lips seal around my throbbing, swollen head and suck.
• “Oh, fuck,” I groan.
• Because that’s it for me.
• My come spills all over her tongue and slides down her throat.