Chapter 1 The Scream That Changed Everything

• Ninette's POV
• The migraine hit me like a freight train somewhere between the quarterly report and my third cup of terrible office coffee. Behind my eyes, pain bloomed sharp and vicious, the kind that made fluorescent lights feel like needles driving into my skull. I pressed my fingers to my temples, but the numbers on my spreadsheet kept swimming.
• Something felt wrong today, not just the headache. A crawling unease that had been sitting in my chest since I woke up alone this morning. Again.
• "Are you okay, Ninette?" Janet from accounting asked, not really caring about the answer.
• "I need to go home." I didn't bother with the smile this time.
• My boss barely looked up. "Fine. Better get the Henderson file ready by tomorrow."
• No concern. No "feel better." Just another reminder that I was replaceable. The word echoed in my head as I grabbed my purse and rushed out. Replaceable. Replaceable. Replaceable.
• The subway ride home was torture. Every screech of the brakes sent fresh spikes of agony through my head, but I kept my eyes closed and tried to ignore the wrongness still churning in my gut. Damien would probably be at another "networking meeting." He'd been having so many lately. At least I wouldn't have to pretend everything was fine.
• Our apartment building looked exactly like every other one on the block; beige and forgettable. I fumbled with my keys, my hands shaking from the pain. The lock finally clicked open and I stumbled inside, kicking off my heels.
• The apartment was dim with the curtains drawn. I headed toward the bedroom, already reaching for the buttons on my blouse.
• That's when I heard it.
• A soft, breathy moan coming from my bedroom. The sound women make in movies when they want men to think sex is good.
• My blood turned to ice despite the fever burning behind my eyes. My feet moved forward even though every instinct screamed at me to run. The bedroom door was already cracked open.
• I pushed it wider.
• The scene before me didn't make sense at first. Damien, my husband of three years, was on our bed, the bed with the navy sheets I'd changed just this morning. But he wasn't alone.
• Tessa was underneath him. My best friend since sophomore year of college. My maid of honor. The woman I'd cried to about my marriage problems, who'd held my hand and told me Damien loved me, that I was being insecure, and that I needed to trust him more.
• They were having sex. Not just having sex, they were lost in it, their bodies moving together with a rhythm that spoke of practice and familiarity. This wasn't the first time.
• The scream that tore from my throat didn't sound human. It was raw and jagged, ripped from somewhere deep in my chest where all my worst fears had been living.
• Damien's head turned, but not quickly, not with shock or shame. He glanced over his shoulder like I was an interruption. His face was flushed, and what I saw in his eyes wasn't guilt.
• It was irritation.
• Tessa looked at me too and she smiled, not sheepish, not apologetic. A real smile, satisfied and cruel, like this was exactly what she wanted.
• Then they kept going.
• They kept fucking while I stood there screaming. Damien's hips kept moving. Tessa's nails raked down his back, and her moans got louder, performative now. They moved harder, faster, like my presence added something to their pleasure.
• This is what I'm not, I thought, watching her arch beneath him. This is what he wants instead of me.
• She was beautiful in a way I'd stopped being somewhere around year two of our marriage. She was confident and hungry, the kind of woman who knew she was wanted. When had I become the kind of woman who apologized for existing? Who dimmed herself down? Who worked late and came home too tired for sex and believed him when he said it didn't matter?
• It mattered. It always mattered.
• I wasn't enough. Not exciting enough. Not sexual enough. Not her enough.
• The room spun. I stumbled backward, hitting the doorframe hard enough to bruise. I couldn't breathe or think about anything. I couldn't do anything except grab my purse and run.
• My hands shook so badly I almost couldn't turn the doorknob. Behind me, Tessa's moans rose to a crescendo. I heard Damien grunt, and I knew they'd finished.
• I ran down the hallway, down the stairs because waiting for the elevator felt impossible. Out into the afternoon sunlight that stabbed into my migraine like a thousand tiny knives. I ran until I couldn't run anymore, until I found myself standing in front of The Riverside Hotel three blocks away.
• The kind of place Damien and I couldn't afford but that businesspeople expensed without thinking about it.
• The lobby was all marble and gold accents. At the front desk, a young woman with perfect makeup smiled at me.
• "Can I help you?"
• "I need a room." My voice sounded distant. "Just for tonight."
• She didn't ask about luggage or why I looked like death. She just processed my credit card and handed me a key leading to Room 412.
• I made it inside, locked the door, and collapsed against it.
• My phone buzzed. Fifteen missed calls. Twenty-three texts from Damien.
• "Ninette, you're overreacting. Come home so we can talk like adults."
• "You're seriously going to throw away our marriage over one mistake?"
• "You're too sensitive and too emotional. You know I love you."
• The message from Tessa was worse:
• "I'm sorry you had to find out this way. Damien's been unhappy for so long. You must have known. I hope we can still be friends."
• I threw my phone across the room. It hit the wall and clattered to the floor, hopefully broken.
• The migraine that brought me home early felt like nothing compared to the pain in my chest. I couldn't cry. The tears wouldn't come. I just sat there on the hotel room floor until the sun started setting.
• When I finally looked at myself in the bathroom mirror, I barely recognized the woman staring back with tired eyes and slumped shoulders. When had I become this person? When had I started believing I deserved this?
• The hotel bar was on the ground floor, tucked away in a corner with dim lighting and soft jazz. It was early evening, so the place was mostly empty. A few businesspeople occupied tables near the windows, but the bar itself was deserted.
• Except for the man at the far end.
• He was watching me. I felt it before I saw him, that specific awareness that comes from being looked at with intent. When I glanced over, he didn't look away. Dark hair, expensive suit, a face that was handsome in that carved, controlled way some men had. He lifted his glass slightly. It wasn’t quite a toast, just a subtle acknowledgment.
• Heat crept up my neck. I looked away and slid onto a stool at the opposite end of the bar.
• The bartender was young, with kind eyes. "What can I get you?"
• "Tequila." My voice was hoarse from screaming. "Just keep them coming."
• He poured the first shot. I threw it back without the salt or lime. The burn felt good and real enough. I tapped the bar for another.
• By the fourth shot, the bartender was giving me concerned looks. By the sixth, the edges of reality started getting fuzzy. The pain in my chest dulled to a manageable ache.
• That's when I felt him move. A shift in the air. The scent of expensive cologne.
• He sat down beside me, close enough that I could feel the heat of him.
• I turned to look at him properly for the first time, and something dangerous flickered in my chest. Something that felt like hunger. Like spite. Like the reckless certainty that I had nothing left to lose.