Chapter 4

• Elelira POV
• As Mimi and my escort walk me to the room where my uncle waits for me, I retreat into my shell of numbness, going on autopilot until this whole ordeal is over.
• I suspect numbness will be a constant for me again, since the pains of my husband’s betrayal will begin tonight.
• Val whimpers at the memory. She was locked inside my mind, enduring it with me, her heart shattering over and over along with mine. It was his human side having the affair. His lycan had no part, which was the hardest for Val. She could never extinguish that hope for her mate because she could never know if Lachlan’s lycan was in agreement with that action.
• This marriage right now was entirely to his human side, so she was trying her best to retreat into the darkest corner of my mind and wait in sorrow until it was over.
• When we entered the room, and my eyes landed on my uncle and his men, I tried to maintain my numbness and not outwardly show my disgust and discomfort.
• Some of the very men that tortured and ravaged my body in my last days were standing around the room, their sickening stares making Val snarl in my mind.
• “About time,” Uncle growls. “Bad enough I had to wait to use you for this till the day you turned 18. Let’s get this over with. I have a meeting in town right after this.”
• “Meeting my ass. He and his filth should do the world a favor and fall off a cliff on their way out,” Val sneers before retreating back to her dark corner.
• I agree, but this world has proven to be unfair over and over again. We would never be that lucky.
• I somehow managed to rest my hand on my uncle’s elbow, hiding my disgust and scorn. Just 5 minutes. I can be near the monster for 5 minutes, and it will hopefully be the last 5 minutes I ever see him again in this life.
• I will kill myself again before ever going back to the West.
• He will only correspond with me through letters after this day, and send messengers to me when he wants more than a few lines on a page. 5 minutes. Just 5 minutes and he will disappear from my life.
• I go into a trance, focusing on the floor as I let the numbness take over. I do not wish to see Lachlan and the resentment on his face as he looks upon me for the first time. I do not want to show my hurt and pain from his rejection. I will remain numb and try my hardest to not meet his eyes once during this entire ceremony.
• The first year of our marriage he won’t seek me out once. Not once. I can hold onto my numb facade, then steer clear of him for at least a year. It won’t hurt me. It won't break me. I have already been broken beyond the limits. I will merely exist until the day my magic returns and I can seek freedom in the sea once again.
• At the thought of the sea, I looked up, staring out the massive plane window in front of me, my eyes taking in the majesty of the stormy waters.
• The waves crashing into the shore seemed to be beckoning for my return. I wished to return. I wish for the escape.
• 2 years. Just 2 years, and I will never leave the sea again.
• My dread of the next two years is probably showing on my face, and I have to work hard to mask it once again. When I finally feel like I have control of myself, letting the rhythmic waves in the background soothe my dread, it is time. It’s time for my uncle to pass me off to my dreaded fate.
• I let my eyes trail over Lachlan only for a second, not lingering on any part of him for any amount of time. He is nothing to me. Nothing. I just need to remain numb until this ceremony is over, then I can retreat back to my room and avoid him as much as possible.
• “Dearly beloved. We are all gathered here today for the joining of Alpha Lachlan Stiles, the ruler of the South, to Lady Elelira Lambert of the West. As a result, joining two kingdoms in an alliance through holy matrimony ....”
• The officiant drones on, and I keep my eyes unfocused, staring off at the area behind Lachlan, keeping myself numb and uncaring.
• None of this matters. This marriage is nothing to him, and it will remain nothing to me. I am no longer the naive girl I was the first time we went through these motions. I know what he thinks of me, and I will not delude myself into thinking there is a hope to change his mind.
• I don’t want him to change his mind. I want him to remain uncaring, because that is how I feel. I want him to keep his disgust of me, because I am more disgusted with him. I want to stay away from him as much as he desires to avoid me, and once this ceremony is over, I can resolve myself to do just that.
• Once this is over, I will change out of this embellished gown with its diving neckline and clinging fabric into something much more comfortable. I will take a bottle of wine from the reception that I know my husband will barely attend, then retreat to the shore and walk along the stormy sea.
• The clouds in the distance might be depressing for others, but I know the calming and soothing effects a good storm has deep under the water’s surface. The beauty of the rolling waves above and the comforting swaying of the currents. It’s like a baby being rocked in its mother’s arms. I loved storms from under the water, and I plan on treasuring the storms above the surface just as much now that I know their true value and beauty.
• “Do you, Lachlan Stiles, take Elelira Lambert as your lawfully wedded wife, and the Luna of the Southern pack?”
• “I do,” he resounds, squeezing my hands that are numbly resting in his. The determination and passion in his voice broke my daze, and I met his eyes for the first time in this life.
• After sliding a ring on my finger, his eyes trailed up to mine. He was not looking at me with disgust or disdain. No. The emotions radiating in his eyes startle me, because there is no malice or anger. They are not the eyes I am familiar with when I remember them from before.
• He almost looks….grieved. Hurt and scared, but determined.
• Determined for this to be over?
• “Elelira Lambert, do you take Lachlan Stiles as your lawfully wedded husband, and as your Alpha, choosing to lead his people beside him, for the good of the pack?”
• I blinked out of my trance, looking away from Lachlan and towards the elder officiating the ceremony. His kind eyes and warm smile stings as I consider rejecting this marriage. The numbness was shaken off at the shock of Lachlan’s appearance, much different than before, and the fear of the unexpected weighed heavy on my chest.
• Valerina stirs in my mind, her fear matching mine.
• Can we do this again? Can we survive the impending future?
• We have to. There is no choice. If I say no, what is to become of us? My uncle will take me back with him, and I will face the same ending as I did before, only this time, I will die with the regret of never feeling the water flow over my fins. I’ll never experience the storms in the ocean and the freedom swimming in the vast ocean brings me.
• I can’t reject it.
• Val whimpers as I start to breathe heavily, trying to find the numbness in me once again. We can do this. We have to.
• “Lira,” Lachlan’s voice whispers the familiar and hated nickname he gave me from before.
• I hated it when he called me that. I hated the way it panged in my heart as the name left in a sneer from his lips.
• He is not sneering now. I can’t detect a hint of malice or hatred from him. Just concern and fear.
• Fear of what? Me? What reason would he have to fear me?
• I stared down at the ground, closing my eyes as I focused inward, Val helping to pull the numbness back over me. After several seconds, that felt like hours, I reopened my eyes, keeping them unfocused as I stared past the man in front of me, who was still tightly gripping my hands, blankly staring at the wall just past him.
• “I do,” I murmured, my voice sounding dead and cold, even to me.