Chapter 5

• ALEXANDRA
• Jack: [I'm sorry, Alex. Mia broke her ankle this afternoon and has been admitted. I can't make it, but I'll try to pick you up.]
• The message flashes on my screen as I sit on the edge of my bed in the gown I’d spent hours picking out. My heart sinks lower with every word until I feel physically sick.
• Mia. Again.
• My fingers tremble around the phone as I stare at the glowing screen, the words burning themselves into my chest like a sharp blade, I don’t even realize I’ve held my breath until the tears blur my vision.
• Of course he wouldn’t come. Not when it came to her.
• I set the phone down carefully on the nightstand, almost as if dropping it would shatter what’s left of me.
• My reflection in the mirror stares back, my hair is pinned up neatly, light makeup hiding the evidence of a sleepless night, and the gown hugging my body in all the ways Jack used to say he liked.
• I swallow the lump in my throat and force myself to stand, smoothing down the fabric as I walk out of the house to attend the annual ball on my own.
• The car that was sent to pick me drops me at the entrance of the grand hall, which is towering with flags.
• My heart thunders as I step out, my gown brushing against the marble steps with medal pins hidden inside my clutch until the right moment.
• I slowly walk in when silence swallows the whole room and one by one, soldiers straighten, their fists to their chests and their eyes on me. They make two straight lines facing each other so I can walk in the middle while they salute, making my heart warm with emotions.
• The weight of their respect presses against the ache in my chest until I almost falter. I’ve been away for so long, buried in someone else’s shadow and treated like I'm nothing, but here…I'm seen and respected.
• “Lieutenant Alexandra Ivanov,” the announcer’s voice echoes through the speakers, “Daughter of Captain Kostantin Ivanov and Major Katelina Ivanov. Tonight, we honor their sacrifice and celebrate her exceptional skills which she has used to keep this country safe.”
• General Morgan, steps forward, his lined face breaking into a warm smile.
• “Alexandra. I am glad you could come tonight.” His eyes sweep behind me, then back. “But tell me why you're alone on this special night? I was under the impression you were married.”
• I force a smile, “My husband is out of the country General. So I had to come alone.”
• It's a lie but it's better than the truth. Better than admitting he simply chose not to be here.
• “Ah.” The General nods once, though something in his gaze tells me he doesn’t fully believe it. Still, he gestures for me to step forward. “Well, we are happy you could make it. Always remember that our door will always remain open to you. Whenever you want to return to the army, just let me know.” He says and I nod with a smile.
• The rest of the night passes in a blur. With the medals in my arms, I walk into the house after being dropped off when a sharp voice halts my step,
• “Where the hell have you been?” Alicia spits.
• “I didn't know I had to check in with you whenever I stepped out.” I bite back.
• “Do you hear that, mom? She has grown wings I tell you!”
• “That's what leeches do. You take them in and suddenly they're growing wings. Who was supposed to prepare supper since you decided to go God knows where!” My mother in law spits, her eyes blazing with disgust.
• I sigh, not in the mood to go back and forth with either of them.
• “Jack knew I had an event. So stop bothering me.” I spit about to walk past when Jack, who apparently has been standing here all along like a fucking statue while I went back and forth with his mother and sister.
• He couldn't even defend me.
• Which isn't new for me really. He has always been unreliable in everything including putting an end to the abusive words his mother and sister hit me with.
• “Yes I did. But you knew you had to cook. Couldn't you have returned a little earlier? Everyone has been waiting for you, Alex.”
• “Mia even ended up going to bed with an empty stomach after taking her drugs all because you're being the selfish bitch you've always been.”
• Mia?
• “What is Mia doing here?”
• “What she's doing here is none of your concern. Focus on preparing us supper. I hope you do a good job because I'm already angry!” Marina says angrily, walking away.
• “Are you going to just stand there and watch them bully me?” I turn to face Jack, disbelief in my voice, “You knew where I was yet you couldn't even defend me!”
• “Calm down. I didn't because it would have looked like you were guilty. Look, why don't you just prepare them something to eat so everyone can calm down?”