Chapter 37

• The 9th of June. Two weeks after the death of Ryan. Emma stood in-front of the open window releasing her hand out to the cold breeze that brushed her tender skin. She shut her eyes trying to derive comfort from the overbearing heat that was burning her up from the inside that morning. It would have been Ryan's birthday today. He would have turned three today. Emma quickly cleaned the tears streaming down her cheeks with her left palm. She must be strong. She said. She had vowed to be strong even though the last two weeks had been the most difficult stage of her life. Her days became darker and she blamed fate for being unfair. She was dealing with the fact that she had been cheated by a husband and death snatched her son afterwards. It was almost as if hell was unleashed on her.
• As she stood by the open window, she imagined how Ryan would look in the next seven years, who would have been a big kid? Would he had been the chubby lively kid she knew? She thought. Would his dark hair still be long? She would have braided it. She always wanted to that. He would have been in Pre_School now and she would have introduced him to the junior library and made him fall in love with literature. Oh how well she has planned for her boy. It's quite tragic. Death came and took him away or rather Gideon let it happen. She would have flew away with her Ryan the next day and he wouldn't have died. Why did she allow Gideon to spend the day with Ryan? She wondered. If only she knew, She would have showed up to pick him that day instead. She lamented.
• She went to her bed and laid on it. Her face on the bed. When Ryan died, she felt as if her entire life had crumbled. If there was one good thing about her damned marriage to Gideon, it was Ryan and when he died, she felt worthless ;she couldn't protect her child she kept saying and wailing at his funeral. Her anger towards Gideon metamorphosed to a hatred and she will make him pay. She always wanted to make him pay for all the hell he made her go through. Wherever Ryan was, she's sure he is resting but she wished he was resting in her arms even though he would have been bigger now. Sometimes she wished death took her instead.