Chapter 5

• NOLAN POV
• “What’s that look on your face?” Watt dropped onto the office couch. It was a huge, comfy leather thing. I sat behind my big wooden desk. We shared this office because we worked such different hours. The other one? We turned it into a steam room and spa. A man needs to relax after a long day of being in charge.
• “What look are you talking about?” I asked, pretending to be busy with some papers.
• “The one that says you were just thinking about some woman being nice to give you a bj on a first hookup.” Watt grinned, his bald head shining under the office lights.
• I snorted and shook my head. “She didn’t do that.” But damn, I wished she had. She was the kind of woman you thought about all day.
• Watt leaned forward, his massive frame taking up most of the couch. He looked like a granite statue, all muscle and sharp eyes. He was my Beta, my second-in-command, a former bouncer built like a tank. Most people thought he was scary, but I knew he had a soft heart. “But something happened, right? Tell me.”
• “I don’t know what you want me to say. It was good. Really good. Different.”
• Watt raised one eyebrow so high it almost touched his scalp. “Different how, Alpha? Did you find some secret thing you like? Some new way to have fun?”
• “You’re a complete pervert,” I said, though I couldn't help but smile.
• “First, being curious is not being a pervert. Second, you were supposed to be Christmas shopping, but you were out having fun instead. Third, my own love life is dead right now. I have to live through your stories! So, tell me, how was it different?” He made a quick, funny motion with his hand, pretending to be stroking.
• I threw a stress ball at him, which he caught easily. “She was the total opposite of the women I usually meet.”
• “Short, fat, and messy?”
• “No! Don't be an ass.” I rolled my eyes. “She wasn't a fake blonde with silicone breasts. She was... natural. Curvy. Full. It was incredibly sexy.”
• He nodded slowly, seriously now. “Ah. Natural shape. I get it. Nothing beats strong, round hips to hold onto when you’re fucking this humans the way you want.”
• “Exactly,” I agreed. “And she was young. I think she might have been a virgin, even though she tried to deny it.”
• Watt’s eyes went wide. “Whoa, Nolan. A teenager?” He sounded worried. As Alpha, I had rules. We protect the pack, especially the young ones.
• “No! Fuck, no! Don’t even think that.” I ran a hand over my jaw. I never asked her age. “She was in her twenties. Old enough to drink, old enough to vote. Definitely an adult.”
• “Like your daughter’s age?” Watt asked calmly.
• I actually flinched. “Don’t say it like that.”
• Watt just shrugged his huge shoulders. “Like what? It’s the truth, isn't it? She’s a young adult.”
• “Comparing me sleeping with a young woman to… my own daughter. That feels wrong. It feels disgusting.”
• Watt laughed, a deep rumble in his chest. “You’re the one making the comparison, Alpha, not me. I’m just stating facts. So, how did you find this 'different' woman?”
• “It doesn't matter,” I said, trying to end that line of talk. “It was just a one-time thing. But it’s been months since I’ve been with anyone. The tension is building up.” I rubbed my shoulders.
• Watt stood up, looking at the time. “You need to work that out before the shift. The moon will be full soon, you know. You need to keep your strength up.” Watt was referring to the extra energy we got around the full moon—not that we had to shift, but the power was always there. “I’ll go check if Erica is gone so you can hit the gym.”
• Watt left the office. I took a few minutes to clear my desk, putting away papers from the nationwide gym franchise Watt and I ran. We had the best managers and staff, so the work was easy.
• With Watt’s "all-clear" signal, I changed into my workout clothes and hit the gym we had in the building. First, ten miles on the treadmill, then I punished the weights until my muscles screamed. I pushed harder than usual, trying to burn off the restless feeling that the memory of the young woman, Gwen, had brought back.
• By the time I was finished, the day’s stress was gone, replaced by good, physical exhaustion.
• I headed home, packed an overnight bag, and loaded my big SUV with presents and Christmas lights. It was time for my yearly trip to the cabin. I was starting the two-hour drive into the deep woods.
• When I finally arrived, I got out and took a big, deep breath. The air here was so clean and cold. I grew up in this area, but when I turned eighteen, I couldn't wait to leave for the city. I still like the city best, but I couldn't lie: being away from the noise and dirty air was good for the soul. It calmed the wolf inside me.
• I still had a little daylight left, so I quickly put up the lights outside the cabin. After that, I went inside and grabbed a cold beer. My friend—a local wolf I paid to watch the place—had stocked the fridge for me. Beer in hand, I started putting up the fake Christmas tree and the inside decorations.
• I quickly texted my daughter again, needing to check on her. This time, I got a one-word answer: "Fine." That was it. No mention of where she was or when she would visit. But she was alive and well. That was enough for now.
• I made a simple dinner, and after I ate, I walked out onto the back deck. My local friend had cleared the snow and made sure the hot tub was ready. I planned to use it. Since there were no neighbors for miles, I stripped down completely, even though it was below freezing, and slowly sank into the warm water. I let out a loud sigh of pure pleasure. This was the life of an Alpha.
• I grew up comfortably, but I didn't start rich. I worked hard. Today, between the gym business, the online supplement company I started in college, and smart investing, I had more money than I could ever spend. My daughter would never have to worry. If she had children, they wouldn't have money problems either.
• Yes, life was good. Maybe not perfect, but what is? A perfect family? I tried the wife thing, and it didn't work.
• But I got my amazing daughter out of that marriage, so it was worth the pain. The minute her mother left, things got better. I had to pay a huge amount of money to keep my daughter close, but now my ex-wife was off with husband number five, and I was happy to be free.
• Since then, I decided marriage wasn’t for me. My daughter was fine with me raising her, with Watt’s help. I could cook and clean. And for sex? I could easily get that without a wedding ring.
• It was just a simple, physical need. A biological function that had to be satisfied sometimes. And after how quickly I lost control with Gwen, I realized I needed to satisfy that need much more often than I had been. Maybe I should have gotten her number. I almost never slept with a woman more than once, but I could make an exception for the natural, curvy, and mysterious Gwen. The way she smelled... It was like a fresh rainstorm on a hot summer day. It made the wolf inside me restless for the second time.