Chapter 7 Letters And Pains

• Mirabel walked towards the doctor's lounge to change into her navy blue scrubs. She smiled as she recalled his deep laugh. She was good with eye contact, it was needed as a doctor to make your point clear to the patient, especially the one who had trouble with compliance but with Rickard, she couldn't look at him for three seconds straight.
• First of all the steel grey of his eyes was simply stunning and second, the pain that Mirabel saw hidden there in plain sight scared her. He did a good job of covering it with his
• shoulder shrugging and that smirk, oh God that smirk, did things to her body.
• She barely knew that man for a day and she felt good in his company. She felt lighter like the storm of sorrows in her life could be tamed with his presence. She felt at ease as if he had calmed her paining heart.
• Mirabel shook her head and decided not to overthink the situation.
• "You will probably never see him again." She muttered as she shrugged on her white coat and threw her stethoscope around her neck. She scrubbed her hands a little harder like she was scrubbing him of her mind.
• "Time to save some lives, Dr. Sparks," Riley Mathews, the over-enthusiastic first-year resident in neurology said as he fell into pace with her. Strike over-enthusiastic, that guy was like the Energizer bunny on steroids.
• "Always so happy and excited, Dr. Mathews." Mirabel chuckled as she took the file from him and flipped through the records of the patient she had operated on yesterday. So far everything seemed good and she sighed with satisfaction.
• "It is the only thing that is going to keep me alive around here," Riley shrugged as he took a sip of Gatorade.
• "Long night?"
• "I don't even remember the last time I slept and I need a shower." Riley wrinkled his nose.
• Mirabel chuckled at his antiques.
• "C'mon shower and sleep can wait, the morning rounds can't," Mirabel said as she paged Dr. Watson the cardiologist. One of her patients had shown fluctuating blood pressure yesterday and she wanted Dr. Watson's opinion.
• "Right behind you Doc," Riley said as he chucked the empty bottle in the trash.
• "Dr. Sparks!"
• Mirabel turned around to see a nurse walking up to her.
• "Dr. Mann would like a word with you whenever it is convenient for you. He would have paged but one of the kids smashed that thing to pieces." The nurse chuckled.
• "Okay. I will be right there. Thank you." Mirabel said as the nurse nodded and left. Dr. Hartej Mann was the head attending pediatrician at Wentworth East Hospital and William was doing his residency under him.
• "Riley, start without me. Take Henderson with you. I will join you in a minute and when Dr. Watson shows up, take him to room 208.”
• "Got it,” Riley said.
• Mirabel reached his office took a deep breath and knocked.
• "Come in,"
• Mirabel stepped in and smiled at the elderly doctor.
• "Ah good, Dr. Sparks. Just in time. I was about to head out for rounds."
• Mirabel looked at the solemn expression on his face. Dr. Mann was one of the happiest people she had ever met, with his jolly good nature that put even Santa to shame but right now she couldn't see a trace of that man.
• "William gave me this to hand it over to you." Hartej cut straight to the chase and held out a white envelope for Mirabel.
• Mirabel’s hands shook as she took it from him. The envelope was plain white with "Belle" scrawled across it in her brother's handwriting.
• "He told me to give it to you after the funeral and other related events were over." Hartej cleared his throat. Even though he handled shrieking and crying kids all the time, he became very uncomfortable in the presence of a crying woman and Mirabel looked on the verge of that. "I am sorry for your loss Mirabel."
• "Thank You, Dr. Mann." Mirabel nodded and excused herself. She slipped into one of the storage rooms in the
• maintenance area of the hospital and sat down on a stool. She ripped open the letter with shaking hands, tears already flowing non-stop.
• “Dear Belle,
• You are the best sister anyone could have ever asked for. You were my best friend. When mom and dad passed away you took over the role of them for me, always guiding me. I always knew you had my back no matter what.
• I am sorry for leaving you like this all alone Belle. I am sorry for not being there to protect you all the time like any brother would. I am sorry for not being there to irritate you beyond limits. Most of all I am sorry I couldn't be there to walk you down the aisle or be the best uncle to your kids. Please forgive me.
• Do not wrap yourself up in grief sis. Your light is
• brighter than the sun, don't let it go dim. You are stronger than I could have ever been. I have always loved you and always will.
• You have a long life ahead of you yet, so make sure you make use of every second you have without holding back because sitting here right now, writing this letter, I have realized how precious time is.
• You may not see me, but I am always here, looking out for you and keeping you safe.
• Take care of yourself, sis.
• With lots of love,
• Baby brother.
• PS: take care of Sandra for me. She's so fragile. Tell her that I Would always be happy no matter where she is and with whomever she is.
• Mirabel folded the letter, now wet with her tears. She tried to breathe but her sobs took over her body and the pain made it hard to breathe. She slipped off the stool and curled into a ball on the floor as she cried out in pain, the pain of losing her entire family.
• ***
• Rickard kept his face neutral, wiping away any emotion as he followed Dr. Estelle Costello to the accounts section of the hospital. He had sat in the car for 15 minutes after Mirabel had walked inside, thinking about whether to go in now and face the music or come back later. He knew he would have to come around eventually and make the dreaded payment.
• "Hello Justin," Estelle said to the accountant who had his nose buried in bills and other files.
• He looked up and smiled. "What brings you here to the least exciting place of the hospital?"
• "Clearing a patient's bill," Estelle said as she handed over the documents.
• Justin looked through the documents. "How would you like to pay for medical insurance?" He asked Rickard.
• Rickard pulled out his black American Express and kept it on the desk. He wasn't going to discuss medical insurance about abortions. He didn't say a word as he cleared the blasted bill and walked out of there before he broke anything.
• His vision was tinged with red. Would he be ever able to put this behind him? Maybe he was never meant to be loved or have a family. Maybe he was destined to be alone as he has been since his childhood. Nothing had changed, except now he had more money than he could ever possibly spend and fame but he still had nobody in his life that he could call his own and fall back onto whenever he needed. Of course, he had Micheal and Rose but they had their own life and priorities.
• Rickard tried to push back the horrid memories of his childhood that tried to creep out of the locked drawer in the back of his head. He was so busy thinking that he realized he had lost his way and he had come to another part of the hospital with Dr. Costello.
• He was about to turn around when he heard someone crying and that sound wrenched his heart. It was so painful. Rickard looked around. He was in an area that looked like a maintenance section. There couldn't possibly be a patient around here.
• Rickard tried to sit up but she no longer had the willpower. She needed to get out of here. It felt like the hospital walls were closing in on her. This was the place where Will had lost his battle against life. She needed to be out of here.
• The door to the store was thrown open and Mirabell looked up to see the last person she would have expected. She had come here knowing that no one would disturb her. It was Sunday and only half of the maintenance staff came in two shifts as emergency and trauma was the only department that never slept and the concept of weekends didn't exist there.
• However, she couldn't have been gladdened.
• Rickard was shocked to see Mirabel there and in such a condition. She was half lying, half sitting on the floor of a store room with a letter in hand, her eyes red and swollen from crying. She let out another sob as she looked at him.
• He immediately knelt next to her. "Hey I got you, okay?" Rickard said gently as he removed a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped her tears.
• "Please get me out of here." Mirabel croaked as another wave of sobs shook her body.
• Rickard simply nodded as he lifted her off the floor and held her close to his body.