Chapter 3 The Watcher

• [XENA]
• I look at her properly now. From this angle, she truly looks like Davina.
• He really couldn’t wait another two years, could he?
• Cassian walks around the table to reach us. “What are you doing, Xena?”
• “You seem to be taking good care of my husband,” I remark with a gentle smile, ignoring Cassian’s protective stance. “I just wanted to know where you’re from.”
• “I-I’m from Ashford,” she stutters. “I’m apprenticing under Mistress Morrin.”
• I force out a sigh. “Mistress Morrin? So you haven’t passed your Guild exams yet? And you’re already considered capable enough to tend to the Alpha? You must be talented. And rich. I hear Morrin doesn’t simply take apprentices.”
• Cassian lets out an irritated sigh beside me. “I’m sponsoring her,” he reveals.
• “Sponsoring?” my lips repeat the word.
• He pins me with a glare. “I’ve decided to give out sponsorships starting this year. Is there a problem with that?”
• “Of course, not, Alpha.” I turn back to face her, releasing her wrist. “Oh, I’ve been having some troubles with my… stomach. Do you think you could fetch me something for that? Astrid?”
• “Of course, Luna,” she answers, face paling further before she rushes out.
• When Astrid is gone, Cassian exhales, turning his back. “Why’d you come without informing?”
• “I suppose I missed you,” I claim, plastering a fake smile. I stride and sit on the chair.
• Cassian watches me carefully, his throat working.
• I nearly caught him.
• Cassian offers a smile, but keeps his voice firm. “Don’t do that again, sweetheart. I could’ve been doing something important. You don’t want to feel guilty for disturbing me.”
• “It’s a good thing you were only just getting healed then,” I say quickly, glancing over my shoulder. “But I don’t think she’s really good at what she does.”
• Cassian freezes. “What do you mean?”
• I shrug. “Is she even healing you? You look weaker by the day.”
• Cassian laughs, but I notice how nervous it comes out. “I’d say you’re jealous because I spend too much time with her.”
• Not only is he openly and carelessly betraying our marriage, but he’s trying to rub it into my face?
• “You chose me. How could I ever be jealous of another woman?”
• Cassian smirks, feeling relieved.
• But then I lean forward and ask a question that shocks him. “Do you regret marrying me, Cassian?”
• “What?” he blurts. “Why would you say that?”
• I sigh, picking up a wolf figurine from the table. It’s heavy in my fragile hands—I wish to smash it against Cassian’s skull.
• “I know how much you loved Davina. She was—is your fated mate after all. And she has only two more years left in the Guild.”
• Cassian’s face pales. He tries to assure me, but fumbles, “Davina is in the past. You’re my wife, Xena. I love you.”
• I smile softly, putting the piece back on the table. The older me would blush, nearly cry at his confession. I would repeat it back desperately, even crave a kiss. But now all I respond with is, “Of course.”
• Getting off the chair, I turn to leave, but Cassian stops me.
• “Your father’s name day is tomorrow. Axel reminded me. We’re invited to the celebration.”
• I nod at that information. Then it strikes me. “Davina will be there, right? The Guild allows her leave for family occasions.”
• “She’ll be there,” Cassian confirms, failing to keep the grin from his face.
• The grin follows me long after I leave his study.
• I can’t bear the thought of returning to my chambers, not with rose petals scattered across the bed and a bath waiting to welcome a husband who never loved me.
• So I come to the only place I have left.
• The Moon Goddess’s temple.
• ***
• “How much longer will we stay here, Luna?”
• Kasumi finally asks the question.
• I don’t answer, nor do I move, even though my knees have started to ache. I’ve been kneeling on the cold black stone floor of the temple for over an hour, hands clasped, but no prayer in mind. The Moon Goddess’s face on the idol remains unchanged—still kind, still calm.
• It mocks me. The life I’ve been given is anything but kind, and it is full of chaos.
• “We should leave before it starts raining, Luna,” Kasumi tries again, now sounding desperate.
• The candles on the altar flicker in the cold gusts of wind as the petals of the purple irises scattered at the idol’s feet shift; some of them have wilted, while others remain fresh. I watch a candle melt completely, its flame dying with a last shudder.
• I sigh in irritation. What answer was I hoping to find here? All I’ve felt since my arrival is melancholy. My tears have long since dried, leaving my eyes swollen and red.
• Still, all I can think of is him.
• Cassian—the man I trusted, defended, and loved past reason. The man who once carried me from blood and ruin and promised me the world. The man who now poisons me every morning with knotgrass and calls it care.
• I think of Davina. Davina, who sent rogues to “teach me a lesson.” Davina, who probably celebrated when I lost my wolf. Davina, who will walk free in two years to claim the life I’ve been living like a ghost.
• Tomorrow, I’ll meet her again. This time, I’m no longer a fool to be deceived. I’ve learned the whole truth.
• I know what I'm about to face. I'm almost all alone against the whole world.
• There’s no one left in this world who loves me. Cassian. My family. Even the Goddess I pray to. They all hate me.
• But I’m not afraid.
• When I finally sit upright, my gaze catches the man in the far corner. He’s been here since before I arrived and has demanded my attention without even doing anything.
• To be honest, it’s hard for him to go unnoticed—although he’s dressed in rags and his face is not even visible, he possesses the powerful aura of nobles and high-ranking lycans.
• I finally look at him as I turn to face Kasumi.
• He’s broad-shouldered, half-hidden behind one of the temple’s cracked pillars. A mottled, stitched-up robe hides most of him. His hood is drawn low, his face shadowed. He’s too large to be a beggar, and too still to be simply resting.
• I have a strange feeling that he has been watching me since I set foot inside the temple.