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Chapter 3 Disapproval

  • Theme: Public Humiliation
  • Aria's POV
  • As the pack assembles around the meeting grounds, tension is in the air. I try to blend in by standing at the perimeter of the circle in the hopes that nobody will notice me. The pain of Damian's words is still raw in my memory, and my heart is pounding in my chest. In private, he rejected me, but that hurt was nothing in comparison to what was coming.
  • I turn to look at him, proudly standing in the middle of the crowd. He looks around the throng with his icy blue eyes, but he doesn't turn to face me. I'm not even acknowledged by him.
  • I'm aware of what's coming. In the pit of my stomach, I sense it. I try to steady my breathing as my hands shake. Don't let it be what I believe it to be, please.
  • However, my darkest nightmares come true.
  • With a voice that commands everyone's attention, Damian takes a step ahead. He says in a harsh, impersonal tone, "I have an announcement to make."
  • The entire pack is watching and waiting for him. I can feel the weight of their looks, and there's a lot of expectancy in the air. I resist the impulse to sprint as my heart begins to race.
  • "I, Damian, refuse to be your mate, Aria."
  • His words hang in the air like a death sentence.
  • The ground feels like it's collapsing beneath me, and the world seems to stop. My head seems to be in a daze as I blink, unable to comprehend what has just transpired. Was that actually what he just said?
  • The wolf turns to face me. While some are astonished, others don't care. But the crushing weight of their judgment is all I can feel. They think I'm weak. And he does today, too.
  • "No." It's all I can do, yet my voice is no more than a whisper. It feels like my legs could buckle under me. "No, this isn't possible."
  • Despite the destruction in my words, Damian's face stays icy. Aria, you are undeserving. Feeble. I never intended for you to be my partner.
  • I feel as though someone has punched me in the stomach, causing my lungs to stop breathing. How is he able to say that in public? How could he reject me in this manner?
  • My eyes ache from tears, but I'm not going to let them go. Not in this place. Not before the whole pack. I refuse to allow them to witness my breakdown.
  • But I'm already broken on the inside.
  • (Aria's POV)
  • The next thing I know, I'm running, and I'm not sure how I managed to leave the meeting grounds. I push myself harder as my feet bang against the dirt walk, attempting to get away from the heartache, the pain, and the humiliation.
  • It's all too much.
  • I rush deeper into the forest, not caring where I'm going, and the trees blur around me. All I have to do is leave. I need to stop feeling like my world is collapsing and take a moment to ponder and breathe.
  • But, the rejection follows me and keeps repeating in my head no matter how far I run.
  • "I reject you, Aria, as my mate."
  • I fall close to a clearing, my knees slamming on the floor. The suffering is irrelevant to me. The pain in my chest is even worse than that. I bury my face in my hands and finally allow the tears to fall, and my entire body trembles.
  • Why me? Why is it me every time?
  • The weakest member of the group has always been me. The one who is not a part. It's worse now, though. The one person who was meant to be mine has now rejected me. The one individual who was meant to embrace me regardless of the circumstances.
  • "Why me?" I stutter, sobbing uncontrollably as my voice cracks. "What makes me the weak one every time?"
  • I don't anticipate a response. In any case, no one is around to listen. Like I always have been, I am alone.
  • But then, from behind me, I hear a quiet voice. "Aria?"
  • Luna.
  • I don't raise my look. This is not how I want her to see me. But, she kneels next to me and puts a soft hand on my shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Aria."
  • Although she says nice things, they only make my chest hurt more. I shake my head, tears still streaming down my face. “It doesn’t matter,” I choke out. “He was right. I don't deserve to be his partner.
  • "Don't say that," asserts Luna. Aria, you don't realize how valuable you are. Damian has no say in the matter.
  • I sobbed and laughed bitterly at the same time. It seems that he does.
  • Luna embraces me, her warmth providing a tiny reprieve from the icy void within. After everything, I don't deserve her generosity. I don't push her away, though. I'm not strong enough to.
  • For a long time, we sit there in quiet, her arms around me as I cry. The pack may have turned their backs on me, but Luna is still here. At least I have that.
  • Aria's POV
  • Days pass, yet the ache doesn’t fade. I spend most of my time alone, hiding away from the pack. I can’t face them...not after what happened. Not after I was publicly rejected by Damian. The sympathetic glances, the murmurs behind my back... I can't stand it.
  • I therefore keep to myself and remain in the shadows. Perhaps if I remain concealed long enough, they won't even notice me. Maybe the bond will fade, and I’ll stop feeling this constant ache in my chest.
  • But every time I close my eyes, I hear his voice.
  • "I reject you, Aria, as my mate."
  • It’s like a curse, tormenting me every second of every day. No matter how much I attempt to push it away, the memory comes back stronger, and more agonizing than before.
  • I repeat the scene in my thoughts over and over, wondering whether I could have done something different. If I had been stronger, faster, more worthy… would things have been different? Would I have been accepted by Damian?
  • I'm not sure.
  • I just know that I no longer belong here. Damian's confirmation has cemented the pack's perception of me as weak. I have no place in this place. Not in this bundle. In his life, no.
  • The only place that has ever made me feel at peace is the forest, which I look out over. Perhaps it's time to go. Perhaps I should look for a place where I can start anew and not have to live with the fear of rejection.
  • "There’s nothing left for me here."
  • It feels appropriate, but it's an unexpected concept. I'm no longer held here by anything.