Chapter 14 Fourteen

• It was already late, I could almost hear the sound of crickets from outside my room in King Marcus's castle, I already lost track of how many times I had tried to keep tossing and turning on my own bed.
• No matter how huge and comfortable my bed was, I just couldn't sleep.
• I exhaled sharply, the night was thick with silence, save for the occasional howl of the wind against the stone walls of the castle.
• I stayed laying in my bed, and chose to stare at the high ceiling, I absentmindedly put my hand on my chest and let out another sigh, my heart felt like a restless drum inside my chest. The warmth of the sheets did nothing to ease the chill that wrapped around my soul.
• I turned to my side and curled my body into a protective arch.
• It had been weeks since I arrived in the kingdom, had been weeks since King Marcus and the others started to help me, train me, but the transformation I had expected, the one I somehow longed for, had yet to come.
• While others had already tried everything they could to help me, even showed me how they can shif with grace and ease, I remained trapped in my human skin.
• I let out a frustrated sigh before pushing the covers away and swung my legs over the side of the bed.
• I don't care how late it was, I needed air.
• Few moments later, i found myself stealing through the corridors of the castle, I moved silently, my bare feet barely making a sound against the cold stone floor.
• A satisfied smile escaped my lips when the guards stationed outside barely even spared me a glance, well... I was no prisoner here, I'm just another young woman struggling to find my own place in our own little world.
• Once I was outside, I inhaled sharply as I let the cool night air fill my lungs.
• The courtyard was bathed in silver moonlight, the scent of damp earth and the smell of pine strong in the crisp air. I walked aimlessly, my fingers grazed the rough bark of an old oak tree as I let myself once again lost in thoughts.
• I missed home...
• I whispered to myself as I stared longingly into the darkness, I could see the dark woods, who knows what's lurking there?
• My eyes caught into the flickering lights coming from a cabin close to the castle, yet no matter how far my eyes could reach, I couldn't see my own Pack.
• Shadow Walker Pack maybe small, it maybe changed into a place I can no longer recognize yet it's still the only home I knew.
• No matter how my own people made fun of me for being weak, for not being enough for their new Alpha, for not being suitable for being their Luna, Shadow Walker Pack is still my home, its where I belong...
• What could possibly my Father, Alpha Walden Fox, the one wolf who put together the pack once should be thinking if he could ever see his own daughter unable to come home?
• And most importantly, what could he possible be thinking if ever he knew I couldn't shift into a sttrong and powerful wolf I was supposed to become?
• I let out another sigh, though I couldn't see anything, and though I knew I far I was from home, I still hoped to see it from a far.
• I was so occupied, my mind swimming with thoughts...
• I missed the familiar voices of my own pack, the sound of laughter echoing through the dense forest, I missed my friends, and I missed the feeling of being contented no matter how much I missed my parents or the feeling of my foot against the soft earth.
• Now, all I could do is think about it, wonder whether I will still be able to come back.
• Even to think about it is almost painful.
• My heart suddenly clenched from the thought.
• No matter how beautiful King Marcus's Kingdom, no matter how nice and good they treat me, I still can't shrug off the feeling that I just don't belong here.
• "Can't sleep?"
• I jumped at the voice and spun around, my eyes landed on a tall figure leaning against a nearby stone archway. The woman had an air of quiet power about her, her shoulders squared, eyes sharp as the edge of a dagger. Her long, silvery hair shimmered under the moonlight, and the mark of the kingdom's court council gleamed on her leather bracers.
• "Ayane?"
• I called out, forcing myself to keep my own voice steady.
• The woman stepped forward, her movements fluid and deliberate.
• "That's my name, I serve on the council."
• She paused, tilting her head slightly.
• "I also know what it's like to feel lost in a place that doesn't feel like home."
• She said, her voice colder than the night, I swallowed the lump in my throat.
• "I-"
• I hesitated, I exhaled sharply before looking away.
• "You're Brielle Fox of Shadow Walker Pack, the one who couldn't find her own wolf. We've met before. Court Council dinner."
• She reminded.
• She's only a woman like I am, a few years older, yet there is something about her that made me want to look at her, meet her gaze and listen to every word she has to say.
• "Still can't shift?"
• She added, her eyes serious like a predator in the night.
• "I just don't understand. Why... Why can't I shift? I feel like a part of me is locked away, somewhere, out of reach."
• Ayane studied me for a long moment, minutes later when she finally spoke.
• "Transformation isn't just about blood or heritage. It's about instinct, about trust, not to others, not to the King who saved you, not to other wolves who tries to help you become what you are supposed to be, but trust in yourself and in the bond you share with your wolf."
• "I do trust myself."
• I muttered and flinched as uncertainty started to crept in my chest.
• "At least, I thought I did."
• Ayane stepped closer, her presence radiating warmth despite the cold night.
• "You were torn from your home, from your pack. Your wolf is grieving, even if you don't realize it. You need to acknowledge that before she will come to you."
• My fists clenched from my side.
• "But what if I never shift? What if I'm just... just broken?"
• I whispered, almost talking to myself instead of the woman who is now staring me down.
• Ayane let out a soft chuckle.
• "You are not broken, young one. You are searching. And in time, you will find what you are looking for."
• I bit my lip, uncertainty still gnawing at me.
• But something in Ayane's gaze, made her feel, just for a moment, that maybe I can still cling into something called hope...
• Ayane placed a hand on myshoulder.
• "Come. Walk with me. There's much for us to talk about."
• She said, Ayane didn't wait for her response as she already started walking, straight into the dark woods.
• I hesitated for a moment, then nodded before letting out a loud sight.
• Maybe under the moon's watchful eye, I would finally or somehow begin to understand myself.
• I sighed with content as the cool breeze rustled the towering trees, it almost felt like their branches was whispering secrets to the night.
• The soft echoes of a faint sound of our steps pressed into the damp earth, accompanied by our hushed voices.
• "You have been with the Kingdom for some time now. But we have yet to fully understand your reasons for leaving your pack. You were an Alpha's daughter, aren't you?"
• Ayane said softly before giving me as quick glance, I wasn't sure how she knew about that, that I was a daughter of an Alpha.
• I was sure I didn't mentioned that to anyone, not even the King.
• I hesitated, I glanced down before whispering my answer.
• "I-I was..."
• I admitted, my voice steady but quiet.
• "H-how did you know I was a daughter of an Alpha?"
• I finally asked, hoping to feed my own curiosity.
• Ayane managed to smirk before looking at me again.
• "I just know... Why did you leave when you have a strong hold to your father's pack?"
• "I was once an Alpha's daughter, that Alpha died years ago, with his wife.
• In the eyes of the others, I should rule my father's pack, only I no longer belong to them."
• Ayane narrowed her eyes.
• "Leaving one's pack is not a decision made lightly. What happened?"
• I took a slow breath as memories started to surface like ghosts in the night.
• "I chose to leave after my mate, the new Alpha rejected me, He chose somebody else, someone whos is strong, someone who can fight alongside him, someone... Close to me..."
• I flinched as the blurry image of my friend Miya crossed my mind.
• "He rejected you, because?"
• "Because I didn't shift. I- I just feel like I don't belong to them anymore.. Besides, I can't be bound to someone who can't see my importance. Alaric thought I was only tolerated by our poeple because I was an Alpha's daughter, tolerated by bloodline and heritage, he said...
• After Alpha Aric was murdered, I just couldn't stay there anymore, not with Alaric, now with my own people who managed to find entertainment about my misfortunes...
• To them, I am weak..."
• I said, words cutting through my own chest like the sharp edge of a knife.
• Ayane's ear twitched.
• "The night Alpha Aric died, was the night we were supposed to be married..."
• I added as a bitter smile escaped my lips.
• "The same night he rejected me, I could no longer refuse when he banished me..."
• "A leader like him. Alpha Alaric of Shadow Walker Pack, is a wolf who rules by fear. Be thankful he did what he did."
• Ayane said wrinkling her nose making me chuckle.
• "I guess... I never want to marry him anyway... I mean I was inlove with him for years but I know how much he despises me... "
• "And so, you wandered the forest alone?"
• I nodded as another confussion came visible in my eyes.
• Maybe King Marcus mentioned it to them?
• I asked in silence before answering.
• "That same night, I traveled without purpose... I didn't know where to go...
• The forest was dark, but I would rather face the unknown than remain where I was not wanted."
• My voice wavered slightly, but I lifted my chin.
• "That was when I met him, the King."
• A silence fell over between us as we walked.
• "The King found you?"
• "Yes, he was with his warriors. I met him that night, in the pack."
• I said softly.
• "I remember how he stood before me, tall and unshaken by the darkness around us. His presence alone sent the dangers away... told me I was wandering too close to the Dark forest-"
• "The Dark Forest?"
• Ayane said amused. I nodded.
• "He told me to follow him, back to his Kingdom. And I did."
• Ayane tilted her head.
• "You trusted him?"
• My lips curled slightly.
• "He gave me no reason not to. He could have left me to my fate, but he didn't. Instead, he brought me to the Kingdom, gave me shelter, and allowed me to find my own place among you."
• Ayane let out a slow exhale.
• "The King has always had a way of seeing beyond what others do. Perhaps he saw something in you, Brielle Fox."
• For some reason, hearing those words made my eyes shimmered with resolve.
• "I know how painful it was to be rejected by a man you love..."
• Ayane said as a bitter smile ezcaped her lips.
• I wanted to ask what she meant, but she did not give me reasons to anymore as she continued.
• "Like you, I have been rejected by my mate... Wanna know who?"
• She added and smiled as she glanced at me. And the name she mentioned made my heart skipped sa beat.
• "King Marcus... I'm his rejected mate..."
• Questions started to form in my head, questions I wasn't so sure whether or not is safe to ask.
• And once again, silence fell between us, like the night carried our words through the trees as she started walking back to the kingdom.