Chapter 91 Encounter 2

• I turned away in great fear of being able to start a conversation with him. But before I could take a step his rough hand covered my wrist. His eyes are cold. I can't see anything but coldness and nothing more. My heart fluttered and shattered in pain at the same time. Why do I feel like I'm the one at fault? Why does it seem like I still have to feel guilty when he has to explain it to me? My eyes heated upon seeing him this close, all the memories of him left in me playback and stung like hell.
• The pain I've felt since I chose to leave everything as if nothing had happened seems like I regret now seeing her eyes like this. In the past 4 years I dare not to hear anything from him, I have been forced to go deaf and blind. I never checked his social media accounts, I didn't even tried to search any article of him. Even occasionally I hear his name. I chose to ignore and go on as if I didn't meet him in my whole life. But now that he is so close to me my own feelings are degrading me. I can't pretend, my heart is angry but it's even more annoying that after all I still feel this way for him.
• The former myself who was willing to follow everything he wanted until it reached surrender returns. And that's not what I wanted this to be. I've been denying this the whole time, this is one of the things I dread when I come back here. Half heartedly, I came back here. Not because I want to fix my issues, but a part of me is still hoping for this moment to come. But the reality is I was never prepared for this kind of encounter. Because if I had told myself I was ready I would not have felt this way.