Chapter 26: They are here

• Have you ever been in a situation where you are mad at the whole world? You feel like the whole world is against you, feel so helpless to do anything while someone controls you here and there, you'll only just get to watch and bear the ache? That's exactly what I'm feeling right now. I was hungry, tired, my eyes are swollen from crying, my hands were aching from being bound like a slave, and to top it all, I'm being punished for something I have no control over. Is it my fault for being the way I am? For being an addict? I'm tired of having controlling men in my life, first my stepdad, Knox, and now, Rakel? I've heard enough! I can't let this continue, or I might lose my mind in here. I stayed bounded till it was mid-afternoon while going over many things in my head at the same time. First, I went over what happened between us this morning and last night, how Rakel reacted to everything. I realize all Rakel cares about for me to obey his rules then wait for Knox mark to wear off, so he could sleep with me or should I say 'mate' with me as they call it. I wonder if I'll even have a choice when that time comes.
• Okay, say he mates with me and I become rightfully his, what happens then? Will he keep ordering me around and expect me to obey them like a lost puppy? If that doesn't work out, would he keep punishing me like this? Is that the kind of life I'm cut out for? No, way! Even though I've never wished to have a prince charming who would someday see me like I mean the world to him, I do want a man who would at least understand me. Someone who knows what I wanted before I voice them out, not a controlling, possessive, and dominant kind of man who keeps telling me what to do and can't do. I can't have that anymore, I'm fed up.
• Hence, my plan to frustrate him didn't work, I've decided to leave. That's right, today will be the day I'll be leaving this hellhole, I've already planned out everything in my head, I just need to wait for the right time. So, here I am, leaning against the headboard, waiting patiently for sundown, so I could execute my plan. I don't really care about the hunger, there are times when I've starved for days, so this is nothing compared to what I've been through in my younger years. At some point, I felt sleepy, I tried to fight it off my eyes slowly slipped into darkness.