Chapter 8 Goodbye

• • Jada •
• I went straight to my condo after leaving Lyken’s place. I looked for a dark spot around the parking lot and parked there.
• I’ve no plans to stay, I didn’t even bother going out of my car. I just took my phone out to check on my messages.
• Honey: I’ll just rest for 30 minutes. I'll go there so we could talk.
• Honey’s home. I don’t know if they noticed that my car’s not on its usual spot, but I don’t care too. When I stepped out of my car, I quickly hailed a cab.
• I asked the driver to take me to Resorts World, that’s the only hotel I know near the airport. When I got there, I requested for the receptionist to book me a flight to New York.
• I made sure that it’s scheduled before two in the afternoon. When the receptionist confirmed, I went straight to the elevator.
• Inside my suite, I started planning things. I can’t go to California because my parents will surely be worried and ask nonstop.
• They will surely be surprised, as well, when they see me with nothing but my purse. It’s a really good thing that I always bring my passport with me.
• In the morning, once the mall opens, I’ll head there so I can buy some clothes I could change into. After that, I’ll head straight to the airport then fly to New York.
• For now, I’ll try to sleep. I wish I could because the scenes I saw earlier still bother me. My tears stream down again, but I forced myself to stop them.
• ‘He’s not worth it!’ I told myself.
• When morning came, I followed the plan I drew last night. Now, I’m on my way to board the plane, for my non-stop flight to NY City.
• I decided to stay in Faith’s place. She’s alone in her apartment anyway and I’m pretty sure I won’t have a hard time telling her what happened and why I’m suddenly in New York.
• As I wasn’t able to sleep properly in the hotel and the travel time is approximately nineteen hours, I decided to sleep on the plane. It will be a while to get to my destination anyway.
• While still waiting in line, I turned my phone on to check if there are any messages.
• Ada: Byotch, where are u?
• Ada: Where did u go last night?
• Honey: Sis ur not in ur unit when I went there. I’ll sleep first, dead tired. Talk to u in the morning.
• Honey: Where are u?
• Honey: Jadanela I’m worried. It’s past 3 AM, I still can’t find u.
• Bambi: By0tch wh4t’$ up? W3’v3 b33n l00k!ng f0r u!
• Lyken: Good morning sweetie. I missed u last nyt.
• Lyken: Wer r u? Every1's going nuts tryin to find u.
• ‘Fuck you!’
• I cursed at him in my mind but I still looked around in case someone heard it. He’s so pretentious.
• I’m fuming mad. I hope I won’t melt all the snow in the States because of my hot head and boiling blood.
• I arrived at JFK Airport around eleven in the evening. Faith doesn’t have the slightest idea that I’m on my way to her.
• ‘Surprise! Surprise!’
• Alright, that was wrong. Instead of me surprising her, I was the one who got surprised, again. When I got to her apartment, she was in rated R mode with her boyfriend.
• We even laughed at each other but because it was very awkward, I told her I’ll just come back later. I head to the coffee shop while waiting for her message.
• Sitting on the table outside, I can’t help but think how unfair I’ve been to my friends, especially to Honey. I wanted to call her but I don’t have the courage yet.
• For sure, as soon as I hear her voice, I won’t be able to stop myself from telling her everything I saw. And that’s the last thing I want to do.
• I don’t want anyone to know about it. It was painful but I want to keep everything to myself. I don’t want anyone to know how much my boyfriend made a fool of me.
• • Lyken •
• "Didn’t you say she was sick last night? Where is she now?" I was almost shouting when I asked Jada’s friends.
• They looked at me in unison, as if I did something terribly wrong. Yes, I admit. I kissed another girl last night. But I know they saw it when I pushed her back.
• What they didn’t know is that something else happened. I brought a girl home and I slept with her. I slept with someone else.
• We didn't exactly have sex but that girl pleasured me last night. I was doing it while my girlfriend was sick and home alone.
• I haven't even done it with Jada and I am so mad at myself for allowing that to happen. Thinking about it, I feel like my head’s about to burst.
• I can't always use alcohol as an excuse. At least not to my conscience because I know I was sober last night.
• I stood up and kicked the beanbag in front of me. they were startled. I turned around and look out the window. I don’t understand what is going on.
• ‘It’s impossible that Jada saw what happened last night.’
• "What was her last message to you, Honey?" I asked her feeling frustrated.
• “She just reminded me to text her as soon as you left the bar. She was just here. I even dropped by to check on her before I leave. She got a fever and was on the bed almost the whole day. I’m not even sure if she heard me when I told her I’m leaving," she explained.
• “I texted her again last night that I’m coming over after a short rest. But when I got here, I didn’t find her. I thought she just went out for a bit. I came back around 3 AM and she's still not home. I tried calling you but you're not answering your phone until I fell asleep there on her couch. I woke up around 6 AM and but there’s still no sign of Jada,” she continued, then she starts weeping.
• ‘She tried calling me to let me know my girlfriend's nowhere to be found, but what was I doing? I was sleeping like a baby with another woman lying beside me.’
• I want to go on a rampage. ‘Why was I an asshole?’ I can’t understand how I did that to Jada. She doesn’t deserve to be cheated over and over again.
• I love her so much. I don't understand why I allowed myself to sleep with another woman. She doesn't deserve the pain I've been giving her.
• Now I know I don’t deserve her. I guess not since the first time I kissed another woman other than her.
• I ran out of her unit. I don’t know where I can find her but I want to try. I can’t just stand and do nothing. I can’t afford to lose her, she’s my life.
• I’m rattled. I don’t know how I’ll be able to wake up tomorrow having to face the reality that’s she’s no longer with me.
• ‘That can’t be. I can’t.’
• It’s been two weeks and I still can’t get a hold of her. One week after she left, I tried calling her parents in the US, but her aunt told me they were in Hawaii for a vacation.
• I tried calling again after a week until I was able to talk to her Nanay. She told me Jada's in New York with her cousin. I feel like I was doused with ice-cold water.
• ‘Why did she leave? Why did she go to the States without saying anything to me? What happened?’
• “Have you talked?” I asked Honey and she nodded at me, frowning. “What did she say?” I followed up.
• We’re here now at Jada’s condo unit. I come here daily after office. Although I know she’s in the States, I still come here in hopes that one day, I’ll get the chance to see her and talk to her.
• "She said she went to New York for a vacation and she doesn’t know when she’s coming back,” she narrated without looking at me.
• “That’s all? No explanations as to why she left?”I was angered by what I heard. Ada and Bambi looked at me as my voice grew louder.
• Honey sighed, “I told her you were looking for her, that you’re furious and frustrated. She asked me to tell you that she’s fine and that you don’t have to worry about her anymore. She said… she said…” she trailed, not knowing whether to continue or not.
• “What? What did she say?” I shouted, running out of patience. Kobe glared at me as I shout at his girlfriend, but I know he understands.
• "She said she woke up the next morning and realized that she fell out of love… and that you're now free to do whatever you want" Honey stated, almost a whisper.
• I don’t know if it’s her voice that’s too low or it was my ears that don’t want to accept what she just said. I plopped on the couch.
• Letting out a harsh sigh, I cupped my face with both hands. After processing what Honey said, I wasn’t able to stop my tears from flowing.
• I felt someone sit next to me. I glanced to see Kobe, smiling faintly while giving my shoulder a light squeeze.
• “I don’t know what to say, man. But Jada must have a reason for doing this. Maybe she just can’t tell you now,” Kobe tried to explain.
• “Bullshit! What kind of explanation does she have? That was it? She woke up and fell out of love? She should have told me. Heck, she can even curse as much as she wants while telling me. I can accept that instead of just leaving me behind. Not like this!” I roared.
• Honey’s right, I’m furious. I’m mad at myself. I’m mad at Jada. I don’t know if I have the right to get mad at her for what she did. All I know is that I’m mad, period.
• I’m mad that she didn’t even give me a chance to prove myself to her. That she didn’t give me a chance to show how much I love her.
• But who was I kidding? I brought a woman home. On the night of our monthsary. On the night she was sick.
• I can’t believe that everything we had will just go down the drain. Without a hint. It’s so sudden that I don’t even have the chance to process things.
• I know what I did was wrong. But on top of that, I was wrong for letting my world revolve around her.
• No. I was wrong for making myself believe that her world revolves around me. It was wrong for me to believe that she does love me.
• If she ever comes back, I can try and hear her out if she wants to explain. But I can't forgive her. I definitely can't.