Chapter 148

• REGRETS
• It is almost night when I wake up to the voices of the doctors in my father's room. I am still swaddled in his arms, and he is still closing his eyes to the pain while the doctors are readying the meds. I strive as much as possible to slip out of his grip without alarming him, but I fail eventually. He peels his weak eyes, and I clench his hand as he tries to catch a hold of me.
• Leaving him must have impacted him so much and with a dreadful feeling of fear. I blame myself. I hate myself for what I did. I feel so awful about it that I can't help but accept the blame for all that is happening. I haven't stopped mulling over how different things would be right now if only I didn't do what I did, and neither have I ceased reprimanding myself for all that is ensuing.