Chapter 4 Tender Moments

• Emmalee
• I break the kiss and stare into Romain's silver eyes. In the dim lighting of his room, they look dark and stormy. Plus, his pupils are dilated, so there's less of the iris to see.
• Goddess, I'm relieved. I'm glad I got those words right out of my chest. For the past few hours, I've been torturing myself and wondering if I was making the right decision. I didn't like Soren or my first impression of him. If I had to marry Soren, it'd be purely for my family, and for the pack.
• But what about me? What about what I want?
• Soren proved to be a terrible person, and I can't imagine living a life by his side.
• Especially after this.
• Romain keeps his warm hand on my face. His face is pale, but his eyes are filled with life. I've never seen him look this way before, and I've known him my whole life.
• "Emmalee," he says my name softly. Like a prayer. Or a promise.
• "I'm sorry that Father didn't stand by your side," I tell him sincerely. Those few moments in his office broke a part of me. How could he let the Cimmerians say those things about Romain? He's one of us. My father raised him.
• What happened is completely unacceptable.
• "He didn't have a choice either," he says while his thumb traces the outline of my lips. Bolts of lightning travel down my spine, and I feel risk strange sensation pooling at the base of my spine, which is one I experience whenever I think about Romain and I'm alone in my room. "He's doing what he can to make sure you enter a proper family."
• "But what if Cade had been the one to hit him?" I argue. "He wouldn't have had Cade whipped. I know that for a fact."
• "I also know that Cade would never step out of line the way I did," he states firmly. "I'm the wild rogue who doesn't give a shit about ranks and civilities."
• "You're not a rogue," I say firmly.
• "What, you believe the bullshit story that Trudy has been feeding us for years about where I came from?" he asks me. "The one about my father being a powerful Alpha who entrusted your father with my education before he got in an accident? Come on, that's not true."
• "Why wouldn't it be?"
• "Because there's no record of that pack, Emmalee," he claims. "I've searched and searched for the Sage Crescent pack and never found it. Not even a trace of it. It was made up."
• To this, I say nothing. Anyway, I'm too distracted by his fingers and his gaze on my lips. It makes me want to kiss him again, and the thought is so wild that it almost consumes me.
• "Who knows," he begins softly, "maybe I'm descended from Fang."
• "Stop it!" I exclaim, my eyes widening. "Why would you be the son of that monster?"
• "Maybe he's not a monster," he chuckles. "Maybe he's just misunderstood."
• I scoff, and repeat the nursery rhyme that has haunted us all as kids:
• "When the moon is high and skies turn red,
• Fang awakens from his bed.
• He sniffs the air for naughty cries,
• And hunts the ones who tell dark lies.
• So close your eyes and hold your breath,
• Or Fang will find you in the depths."
• Romain rolls his eyes, though the smile remains on his lips. "That's horseshit."
• "You're descended from that Fang? The devil?"
• Romain scoffs. "He's not the devil."
• "He's done terrible things," I remind him. "We all know his story. The king of rogues? The one who led the war against us? Come on. You're not evil, Romain."
• "Just an asshole?"
• "The only asshole around here is Soren," I say before it hits me that getting rid of him won't be easy. No, I have to talk to Dad. I have to tell him that I want out. He'll understand.
• My father has never been an unreasonable man.
• Romain's hand moves down my neck and distracts me from my thoughts. Words can't describe how elated I am. We're here, doing this, and everything just feels so...perfect.
• "Your father would never accept this," he says from out of the blue.
• I sigh, and say, "He'll have to."
• "Where did this side of you come from?" he asks curiously. "A few hours ago, you were determined to see this through."
• "I already told you what happened. Now hush, let me help you with your wounds."
• "No, stay here," he says, groaning as he tries to shift to grab my arm. "Just stay here a while. Let me look at you."
• He's staring at me so intently that I can't help but blush, and then his fingers return to my face. There's not a part of my face that he doesn't touch, and the feeling between my legs seems to intensify. I want him to touch more places. I want to...to do things with him. Before, it all felt so impossible. I didn't think he cared about me. I thought I was wrong and perverted for even thinking about him in such a way.
• But now, we're here. We've kissed for the second time, and I've admitted my feelings to him.
• Nothing could feel better than this.
• "What are you thinking about?" he asks softly.
• "You," I admit. "Us."
• His pupils dilate once more, and the sight makes specific parts of me tingle. I could sit here on the floor by his bed forever, with his eyes on me. I wouldn't have to eat or sleep. This would be enough.
• "Let me clean you up," I suggest. "I'll be gentle."
• "I know you will."
• I stand up, and head into his bathroom to fill a bucket with warm water. Then, I go back to his room and grab a towel from underneath his sink. I hold it out to him and ask, "This is clean, right?"
• He nods, and I move closer to his bed before sitting on the edge of it. "I'll have to cut this shirt off. Don't move."
• "Don't. It's my favorite one."
• "Well, you're just going to have to find another favorite one."
• After cutting the shirt off his body, I dip the towel in the bucket and wring all the excess water out before dabbing his back as carefully as I can. He doesn't make a sound, but I know this has to hurt. I try not to focus on how painful these cuts look. I'm even angrier with my father than before. I wasn't there during the whipping because I know I'd do something stupid, so I decided to wait here for him.
• The water is tinged with red way before I'm done. So, I replace it and continue cleaning him up. Time seems to stop. I don't know how much time passes.
• As I'm cleaning him up, he shifts imperceptibly, and then, before I know it, his right hand is on my thigh. I suck in a breath through my teeth and ignore the sensations moving up and down my spine. I continue cleaning him up while his fingers move tentatively up and down my leg.
• "Don't move," I chide.
• "I'm fine," he says, failing to hide the smile tugging at his lips.
• I continue cleaning him up, but it's getting harder and harder to focus. I want him to keep touching me like this. I want so much more.
• But the moment comes to an abrupt end when the door flies open. I stand up, the guilty part of me reacting faster than the sensible part. Trudy stands in the doorway with a basin in her hand, and she eyes us both with a deeply rooted suspicion that makes me so nervous I get breathless.
• Did she see his hand on my thigh?
• "Emmalee, everyone's looking for you."
• Just like that, I come down from my high and fold my arms defensively over my chest. "Romain needed me. I was here with him."
• "Well, now he has me," she says firmly. I can't really read the look on her face. "Why don't you head inside? Let me handle it."
• I look back at Romain, and he moves his head. Yes, go. That's what I interpret. I really don't want to go. I want to stay here and admit to Trudy that I don't want to see anyone from my family. I'm too mad at them. But I have to talk to my father about Soren first. There are things that have to be done.
• She's just following orders.
• So, I nod stiffly, and make my way out of the room, leaving Trudy behind with the love of my life.