Chapter 5 The Guilt That Stays

• “She’s fucking gone!” Dyan growled as he returned to the room where I was seated on the bed as if I didn’t know that.
• The first thing I tried to do after realising she ran off with the funds was use my magic to search for her. I couldn’t track her. My magic refused to do the one thing I wanted, unfortunately, for me.
• I felt the restraint of my magic five years ago and I felt it yesterday, yet I ignored all the signs.
• The first people I went to meet after my magic failed were the resort watchmen. They all claimed they didn’t see any lady in the early hours of the morning, leaving us to believe she had left in the middle of the night.
• I specifically told the king I didn’t want his guards coming along because I intended to make our visit as quick and as unnoticed as I could. If the guards had come along, we would have drawn too much-unneeded attention, but this wouldn’t have happened. We wouldn’t have lost the bags containing the two thousand pieces of gold.
• In the last twenty minutes, Dyan had been gone. I’ve sat in silence thinking about all the wrong choices I’ve made regarding this journey. The biggest was last night. I had let my heart cloud my judgment and now I don’t know how I’ll get out of it. Dyan was right. That was my stupid phase and my stupid phases always end in regret.
• “Edward, what are we going to do? Where ever she is, she’s gone, and she covered her tracks well.” He said, his eyes lingering on me, but I remain quiet as I had nothing to say.
• She didn’t need my help. For all I know, everything that happened last night was to lure me out, and it worked.
• However, how she planned it out still eluded me. Either way, I was the fool.
• “What do we do now?”
• “I don’t know. I’m trying to fucking think.” I hurried my face in my palm, going into a silent mode once again. I felt frustrated with myself. I usually saw things ahead, but sadly, I didn’t see this coming.
• My head lifted after a while. “You can say it. You can say I told you.” I lifted my eyes to meet him for the first time since he stepped into the room. His hands are crossed over his chest and his eyes are fixated on me.
• He sighed and stepped toward the bed where I sat. “What’s that going to get me?”
• “I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought I was helping.” I lamented bitterly.
• He placed his hand on my shoulder and my eyes fluttered and tears threatened to spill. I did the right thing, and this is how fate pays me.
• “We will never know, but we need to return to the capital and report to the king.”
• I hadn’t even thought about that reality that lay ahead, but now that he has said it; I knew that’s not what I wanted to do. I couldn’t go back. I didn’t want to be told how I failed to carry out a simple task. The aftermath of being called a disappointment waited for me back in the capital, and I couldn’t face it. I watched my brother’s face it for years and I saw how much that affected him. I couldn’t imagine going through the same.
• I rose abruptly. “I can’t go back to the capital, not without doing the assignment I came here for.”
• “We’ve lost the revenue and I doubt we will find it back. If we return now, we can tell the king everything. Surely he would understand.”
• I chuckled. It wasn’t as easy as it sounded. “I can’t go back, Dyan, I’m sorry.”
• He sighed in defeat, placing his hands on his lap while he stared at me from the bed. “Then what do you want to do?”
• ...
• The loud cheering of the crowd of over five hundred people was one thing, but the reality that stood in the ring with me made me want to reconsider my decision.
• It’s been a week since we started coming to the fighting pit and it was to raise the money we lost. So far, I’ve had six fights, two of which I’ve deliberately thrown to double the odds of the bet and make more money. This was my genius plan on how to get the money we lost back. We gamble at the casino in the evening and at night we go into the fighting pit. While Dyan was physically stronger and would appear better suited for the fighting pit, I had zero knowledge of the game of card and dice, which made me useless there. He did the card, and I fought in the pit. So far, we have raised a thousand eight hundred pieces of gold. In a few more days, we will be out of the south with only memories to share in the latter days.
• I turned around in the ring to head out, my fear of the man in the ring with me kicking in, but the crowd booed the action. My eyes caught Dyan at my corner and he nodded at me, giving me the go-ahead I needed and I turned back to the man towering over me with a smirk on his face.
• “Where are you going, little boy?”
• “Trying to find which physician would take you in after I’m done with you.” I giggled and his eyes flared and they transformed into a dark shade of blue, this wolf coming to the surface.
• Such a softie.
• A few minutes into the game, I made my way out the victor, with a few bruises on my face and my rib fractured. I spat out blood when I walked over to Dyan and together we made our way to the changing room. The ring announcer introduces the finishing act of the night and the crowd cheer with massive applause.
• “How much do you think we made?” I asked as I stepped into the changing room with Dyan.
• He grinned at me. “Let’s say the odds were pretty stacked against you in the ring. So from my calculations, we made two hundred and fifty pieces of gold and 50 silver.”
• My eyes widened. This is the biggest I’ve made in a single fight and the biggest I’ve made on my own. I felt a little proud.
• “When do you think we can leave?”
• I asked, picking up my robe and shrugging it on. I picked up my starter kit and pulled out the bottle of water from inside. I take a drink.
• “I’m three days with the rate of your earnings now.” he tossed me a small brown towel, which I caught and wiped my sweaty face with.
• I beamed, “I’d kiss you, but I’m filthy.”
• His nose scrunched up. “Please get dressed. We need to get going, we need to meet the payer and I’m worn for the day.” he followed it up with a loud dramatic yawn.
• We exit the fighting arena after receiving our payment from the payer’s office. We came outside to board our carrier, but we find no trace of it anywhere.
• This didn’t feel right.
• Usually, the carriage parked not so far from the entrance, but it wasn’t here today. Dyan and I share a glance, and he looks just as clueless as I am.
• A few seconds later we see men about a dozen emerge from the shadows, some holding iron rods and others daggers and some other chains.
• I narrow my gaze. Surely there was a misunderstanding. We had done nothing wrong for them to come up against us.
• “Good evening, men of Kame. I do not know why you have come up in your numbers, armed with weapons, but I assure you we are not your enemies.” I spoke up, stepping up towards the men.
• “Fucking cheaters!” one yelled and threw a bottle at me. It smashed against my temple, making my head bang painfully.
• I flare up immediately, my eyes glowing a dark yellow with a silver ring, displaying both my magic and wolf genes. My hand balled into a fist and I conjure up my blasting magic. Being accused was one thing, being assaulted was another, and I won’t take it.
• Sore losers always look for who to blame. Fuck them all.
• Dyan pulled my hand and moved to stand before me. “There is no need for violence.”
• “Are you fucking blind? They fucking threw a bottle at me!” I seethe, quite annoyed that Dyan was choosing to be noble at my expense, “If you want a fight, you will fucking get it!”
• “We didn’t cheat. There is no point during the fight this night that my friend cheated.”
• “He used magic in the ring! I fucking saw it, cheater!” another yelled from behind, and my eyes darted to see the scrawny man with a rough beard on his face and a chain in his hand. His grip was not firm, and I knew he hadn’t wielded such a weapon before.
• I didn’t use magic even though the thought crossed my mind after I took the first hit from my opponent. “There were no rules that said I shouldn’t!” I snarled back at them.
• This made them angrier. “Cheaters! We want our money back fuckers!” the third man with an annoying voice spoke, but I couldn’t make out his face.
• No way in hade am I giving this back. They placed their money on the wrong fighter and he lost. That’s all on them.
• “We cannot do that and we don’t want casualties either. If you want to make a grievance, take it up with the coordinators of the fights, just let us go.” Dyan said with a reasonable tone of voice.
• They didn’t answer. They had their minds set on chaos and casualties, than on peace. The men attacked us and Dyan and I fought them having each other’s back.
• Although there were still officials, organisers and fighters in the arena, none came out to stop their angry crowd. They were probably in on this too and when I finish with these men, I’d be heading to the arena to have words with the coordinator and I would do it with my fist.
• I was tackling two men with daggers before me when I felt a forceful push from behind, knocking me off my feet. I spun on the ground and saw Dyan standing before me with a dagger pierced through his chest from the back.
• I gasped and Dyan quickly snapped the neck of the man who had just stabbed him and all I could do was watch in horror at what was happening before me. He coughed as he turn to me, making blood run down his mouth before he lost his balance.
• I caught him and we both collapse to the ground together. “No, no, no!” I screamed, and it sent powerful but strange energy out of me, which knocked out the few men still standing.
• I cupped his face, keeping it still. His eyes were losing their light, and it was a terrifying sight to see. “Dyan! Dyan, look at me, look at me. You will be okay.” I placed my hand on his bleeding chest, trying to conjure up my magic to heal him, but it didn’t work. I did not know why, and as much as it was a painful reality, it was also infuriating.
• His brown eyes locked in my glassy ones, and a smile came to his face. “How about that kiss now?”
• Tears rolled down my face, and my lips trembled. I couldn’t believe he was asking for a kiss now, of all times. Yet, I had no other choice but to do as he wished. I leaned in and placed my lips on his forehead. An act he usually hated and rebelled against, but now didn’t.
• I should have listened to him from the very beginning. I should have avoided getting involved in Kailani’s business. I should have left for the capital when he suggested it and I should have sorted out reasonable solutions with the protesters instead of violence. But I was arrogant and stubborn.
• This was all my fault, and the guilt weighed on my soul.
• “This isn’t your fault, Eddie, this isn’t your fault,” he repeated as if reading my thought and blood slid down his mouth.
• He took his last breath in my hands.
• My lips trembled, and I cried bitterly, pulling his now lifeless body against mine, screaming and not wanting consolation.