Chapter 4 - Sigh

• SHIMMA’S POV
• One month had passed since my father fell ill; three weeks had gone since he died.
• I often found myself staring at the walls of our home, searching for signs of my father. The silence was deafening and unbearable. I could hardly believe this was happening.
• My mother had retreated into her sorrow, and I felt the weight of her grief pressing down on me. I wanted to comfort her, but I was struggling to carry my own pain.
• Mattias, on the other hand, had been my rock, offering support and love when I needed it most. He tried to fill the void that my father’s absence left, but no one could replace him. No one.
• One evening, as I sat on the couch, I picked up my phone and hesitated before dialing Mattias’s number. I needed to hear his voice, to feel grounded again. When he answered, his familiar warmth washed over me.
• “Hey babe,” he said calmly. “How are you doing today?”
• “I’m... okay, I guess,” I replied, though I could feel the tears welling up. “It’s just so hard without him.”
• “I know,” he said softly. “I miss him too. Do you need me? I could come home to you.” He asked, but I shook my head.
• “No babe, just talking to you helps,” I said, grateful for his understanding. “I don’t know what I would do without you.”
• “I love you so much, and I would never leave your side. How about we take some time for ourselves this weekend?” he suggested. “Maybe a little getaway? Just you and me.”
• I considered it for a moment. The thought of escaping the heaviness of this reality was tempting. “That sounds nice. I could use a break.”
• “Great. I’ll plan something special,” he said, and I smiled, knowing that whatever he was going to plan would be exciting and beautiful, as always.
• “Alright babe, see you tonight,” Mattias said.
• “See you, love,” I replied, then hung up.
• I turned around as my mother was coming down the stairs. She was all dressed up, dragging her luggage behind her.
• I got up and turned to her. “Mum, where are you going?” I asked, and she forced out a smile.
• “I’m leaving for Europe. I need to get away. Everything reminds me of him, and I can’t take it anymore,” she said.
• “Oh, how long are you going to be gone? You know we have to plan our wedding in two months,” I said, feeling my heart race because I hadn’t really spoken about my wedding to her. It felt wrong to talk about it knowing I was going to lose my father. But I was certain this was what he wanted for us. He would want us to move on, knowing he would always watch over us.
• “I’m not going to stay long. I will be back before then. How’s my grandchild?” my mum asked. I smiled, looking down at my tummy, which hadn’t even formed a bump yet. I was just about six weeks pregnant.
• “Fine, I guess. I don’t feel anything right now; I just feel dizzy sometimes, and that’s all,” I said, and she smiled. It was good to see her pull up a smile, even if it felt forced.
• “Soon you’ll begin to feel her kicks; you’re still in your early stages, that’s why. But I’ve also noticed you’re glowing too. Pregnancy does look good on you,” my mum said softly with a smile as she prepared to leave.
• But the word “her” just registered.
• “Mum, you said ‘her.’ How do you know it’s a girl?” I asked. I had always wanted my first child to be a boy because I grew up needing a big brother, someone who could protect me in school and from bullies.
• “She’s my grandchild; there’s no way I wouldn’t know,” she giggled. “By the way, please don’t miss your appointments with the doctor; it’s really important for you and your child’s health, okay?”
• “Okay Mum, please stay safe. Call me,” I said as she walked out the door.
• “Alright sweetie, I will,” she said, closing the door behind her.
• Once she left, I remembered I too had to leave for Mattias’s house. I had chosen to stay with my mum because I didn’t want her feeling lonely. But now that I was alone, I needed to go back to my soon-to-be home.
• ---
• LUCAS’S POV
• I sat across from Mattias in his office as I heard him speaking with Shimma over the phone.
• I hadn’t gathered the courage to speak to her after our last phone call. But hearing about her father’s loss, I guessed it was the best way to get close to her again. I still had time.
• “How is she?” I asked Mattias.
• “She’s getting better, I think. I just hate seeing her stressed. It’s not healthy for her and the baby,” Mattias said, and I felt a hard sting in my chest.
• “B—baby? She’s pregnant?” I asked, unable to believe what I had just heard.
• “Yeah, she is. And I hope with time she heals. Derry’s death came unexpectedly, and I know how bad she feels knowing he is no more. I feel bad too,” Mattias continued, but none of his words registered. All I could think of was Shimma being pregnant. Did it mean I had no chance with her? I wondered.
• “How about I go home with you? Just to give her my condolences,” I said, hoping Mattias’s jealous feelings wouldn’t kick in, making him reject my request.
• “Sure, you can,” he said, his eyes focused on the file I had just brought to him.
• Thankfully, I could finally lay eyes on her after so long… (Sighs in relief)