Chapter 5 Burning Pain

• DAVINA
• I was engulfed, almost like I was falling into an abyss, an abyss that was just my life.
• I sat right in the laundry room in the Miles mansion, folding up numerous clothes like I always do every other day, smelling of laundry detergent but also, I smelled of milk.
• A sweet little baby was placed right on my thighs, suckling milk like it was candy. And then, there was another, a toddler, smiling by the door with her arms wide open, just for me to come get her.
• I smiled happily at her, dumping the clothes that disappeared with a whiff to take my child.
• “Get out of the way!” Suddenly, Semion’s sharp voice cut through, pushing the little girl out of the doorway with an irritated expression. “If you want your mother that much, why don’t you walk to her?”
• “Are your legs broken?!”
• The hate he had for his children, radiated off him, it scared the little girl. Her cries burst out, turning into loud sobs that tore at my heart and brain. I closed my eyes tightly and held my head, just to suppress the piercing sounds in my head and by the time I opened them again, the scene had shifted.
• Hotness surrounded me, flames gnawing at my skin and the cries of my little babies echoed unbearably.
• “Mummy, save us from daddy...” The toddler cried as her little hands were being twisted by Semion while Adeline held onto the little baby. They both stood beside the flames almost engulfing the entire room, while the children were obviously shaking in fear and panic.
• Her eyes stared at my baby venomously, but then when she looked at me, she smiled innocently, “You have to say goodbye to your children, Davina. You don't deserve them. You are not fit to be a mother.”
• “No…” I shook my head, denying her words with so much strength. “You can’t take my babies away.” I moved to save them. They needed their mother but the couple from hell laughed at me when my feet were unexpectedly rooted to the spot.
• I couldn't move. Even when my children continuously cried and called out to me, I couldn’t move a muscle.
• Semion’s and Adeline’s laughter echoed in my ears, a torture to my soul and in that moment, their cries intensified.
• The scene had shifted again, and I saw them being thrown straight into the fire.
• A blood-curdling scream tore from my throat, desperate to save my children from the fire even when their own father had tossed them in. My feet moved this time, and I didn't think twice before running straight into the fire.
• The fire engulfed me whole, and even after I searched, while fighting the flames that burned my flesh, my blood that dried up in seconds, and the way my burnt flesh smelled badly, I couldn't find them in that fire. But I didn't stop searching even when the fire got bigger.
• All I could hear were their cries of pain, which nicked at my heart, tearing it apart.
• “Look at her…” Adeline’s voice came through as I burned to death. “Did she really think she had children? I can only have your child, Semion, no one else.”
• The mocking laughter that burst out of her throat was the last push to hell. I gave up, my body slowly turning into charred dust, soon to be taken apart and scattered in the wind.
• I woke up, drenched in sweat. The nightdress I wore stuck to my body and the feel of the surface beneath me was not the same from the fire.
• It was a nightmare. There was no Semion and Adeline, no burnt flesh, I was now in Shaw’s mansion and most importantly, I had no womb to even have those children.
• Even though that was my reality, it didn't stop my heart from hammering against my chest, threatening to burst out like it was being torn apart by that fire.
• My insides were on fire too, not from anger toward those two but from the pain of being a doormat for years. I wanted to quench it, to stop the pain and make everything go away.
• I pushed myself up from the soft bed that should have offered me comfort but it felt like Adeline’s soft hands which had embraced me for years while also driving invisible thorns into me.
• I reached the large bathroom, my injured feet staggering on the cold marble floor. That was what I needed. Coldness that would envelop this torture, this fire, and pain. I turned on the shower, standing under the downpour of water to numb myself but it didn't fail to hide the hot tears borne from the fire in me.
• A scream tore through my throat, bouncing off the shiny and smooth walls of the bathroom.
• Whenever I closed my eyes, I saw those children whom I should have given life. Children whom I should have borne for a good father who would cherish them. But when I opened my eyes, I was reminded of my reality, and I couldn't help but keep blaming myself for killing them.
• I should have been smarter. I should have been sharper to notice the manipulation around me. I wouldn't have been a doormat for years, neglecting myself and my unborn children.
• That smile from that toddler which I could have witnessed was nowhere to be found. I wouldn't even witness it in my lifetime.
• My body slowly slipped to the floor, landing on my butt heavily. The water did nothing to numb the fire in me, neither the pain gnawing at my chest, nor the one shooting through my body.
• At that moment, footsteps echoed and I raised my head to see a tall figure standing at the entrance of the open bathroom door.
• “I am disappointed.”
• My hands crawled on my skin, and I curled into a fetal position. This was my most vulnerable moment, one I would hate him to see but here he was. Shame clouded my reasoning and I burst into even more tears.
• “Get up.” His cold voice echoed in my ears but I had no will or strength to even move. Of what use was my strength now when I couldn’t save those babies?
• But Nathaniel didn't leave me be, he bent down and scooped me into his arms, just like that little baby in my dream. In a few minutes, he placed me on the bed, my body drenched in water and I started to shake. The coldness I craved was now backfiring.
• He still hung around my bed, his sharp gaze looking down at me, causing me to hide my face from him.
• “If this is how you want to become Lucille King, then you should back out now.” His words were like a jab, sending me awake and back to the reality of things again.
• “I don't want to see you become the version of my wife who cried behind closed doors and did nothing to jab at her enemy’s neck.”
• “It..it’s not what you think...” The attempt to defend myself was futile as I burst into sobs again. What could I say to this terrifying man who seemed to know everything?
• “It was too terrifying. I felt like I was burning.”
• “Tell me what happened now. I will listen.” He sat by my bedside.