Chapter 8 Best Friends With Benefits 1

• Best Friends With Benefits 1
• [LOLA]
• “Lola, I really like you. And not just in a simple kind of way. It's more than that. It's very intense, and I'm so stupid for not realizing it all these years.” I looked at my best friend with wide eyes as I heard what he said, and I wondered if I heard him correctly or if my mind was playing tricks on me.
• A gentle shake snapped me out of my reverie, and I blinked as I stared into Hayden's bright green eyes.
• “Lola, did you hear what I said? You seemed to have zoned out for a minute,” he said as he stared back at me, and I shook my head.
• I scratched my neck and looked away from him for a second before looking back at him again, his words sounding alien to my ears. “Uhm, sorry about that. Can you repeat what you said? I didn't really hear you.”
• He chuckled as he avoided my gaze, his ears turning red. “I said I like you a lot, Lola. And I'm stupid for not realizing that on time.”
• I let out a shaky breath then. It seemed my mind was not playing tricks on me, and that was exactly what he said. “Hayden... I... How... What?” I couldn't form a coherent sentence because of how nervous I was feeling, and it was embarrassing, especially at this moment.
• “Take a deep breath, Lola. Deep breaths,” Hayden said as he put a hand on my shoulder and I inhaled and exhaled three times. My shoulders sagged as some semblance of relief washed over me. I looked up at him then.
• His brows were furrowed as he looked at me, and I could see worry and fear in his eyes. His dirty blonde hair was matted to the sweat on his forehead, and I could tell he was sweating because of how nervous he was, since the room was anything but hot.
• “How did this happen, Hayden? When did you start liking me?” I asked him and he sighed.
• “I don't know how it happened, Lola. I guess I just woke up one morning and realized I didn't like you just as a friend. The feeling was intense, and maybe I've been feeling it long before this, but it just clicked,” he responded. I looked down at the couch like it was interesting.
• “We've been friends for most of our lives, Hayden—almost fifteen years now. I... I don't know how to feel about this. It's just so unexpected...” I trailed off, biting my bottom lip.
• Hayden and I have been friends since we were three years old. We met in daycare and have practically been inseparable since then, so much so that our parents had to become close friends. We did everything together, and we went everywhere together. Everyone knew us as the dynamic duo.
• What he didn't know however, was that I started liking him as more than a friend since I was thirteen, but I was too scared to tell him because I didn't want to ruin our friendship. He was too special to me as a friend, and I didn't want to lose him by confessing my feelings for him. So him telling me how he felt after five years, when I have been trying to get rid of my feelings for him made me feel... weird.
• “I know it's unexpected, Lola. And I'm such a fool for not knowing sooner. How could I be so stupid? It's literally always been you. You've always been there; HayLo through everything. It shouldn't happen any other way.” I cracked a smile when he mentioned the name we were called when we were younger. One of our other friends called us that one time, and it just stuck.
• “I mean, you're not wrong...” I was saying, and my smile suddenly dropped when I remembered one crucial thing. “What about Gloria? If you are confessing your feelings to me now, does that mean you've broken up with her?”
• Hayden's smile faltered when I mentioned his girlfriend's name, and he stared at the wall. “Gloria... We're still dating...”
• “What? You shouldn't be doing this if you still have a girlfriend then!” I snapped as I stood up. I was about to walk towards the door that led out of his bedroom, but he held my hand, stopping me from moving any further. It felt like there was a spark as he touched me, and I wanted to remove my hand from his hold.
• “Lola, please wait,” he spoke as he came to stand in front of me, and I folded my arms. “Don't go, please.” I stood frozen as I looked down at my feet, my heart racing wildly in my chest. I couldn't believe he would tell me he liked me when he was still involved with another girl.
• “You have two minutes to explain yourself, Hayden. Two minutes to tell me why you chose to tell me this now when you know fully well that you're still in a committed relationship with another!” I screamed and Hayden looked torn. It was like he wasn't expecting this kind of reaction from me, but he should know damn well I would ask questions. I always did.
• “I... I didn't want to hurt Gloria... That's why I haven't broken up with her. You know how she is. She'll lose it if I tell her I want to end the relationship. She'd go crazy on me, and I'm not ready for that,” he stuttered, and I scoffed.
• “So what? I'm the easier option, then? Is that why you decided to tell me how you feel when you know there's another person in your life? Is that it?” I asked, a lone tear rolling down my face. Hayden reached out to wipe the tear with his thumb, and I couldn't ignore how comforting it felt.
• “Please, Lola... Don't cry...”
• “Telling me not to cry will make me want to cry more, just answer me already!” I said with a snivel.
• “Lola... I... I told you because I couldn't keep it to myself after I had come to the realization. It's been two weeks now, and the fact that I couldn't tell you almost consumed me. I saw you in my dreams, in my waking moments, in everything I did. Everywhere I turned to, you were there. Even when you were not there, I could smell you and feel your presence. That's how much hold you have on me. It was driving me insane, and I couldn't keep it in anymore. I just had to let you know.” Hayden looked forlorn as he stared at the wall behind me. “I didn't know what to expect after telling you, but if I had known it'd make you cry, I would have kept it bottled up.”
• I looked into his eyes, and I could tell he meant every single word he said. In all the fifteen years I had known him, I could tell his truths from his lies, and this—this was the truth.
• “I believe you, Hayden. I believe every single word you said,” I whispered, and I could see the tension leaving his body as he exhaled. “And honestly, I feel the same way about you. I've felt like that for years now.”
• His eyes widened as he took in my words. “What? Are you serious? How long has it been? Why didn't you say anything?”
• “It's been five years now... And I didn't say anything because I didn't want to ruin our friendship. We've got this beautiful thing going on, and it would be a shame to end it because of flimsy feelings.”
• Hayden cupped my face then, tilting it up so we could look into each other's eyes. “Lola, I'm telling you now, absolutely nothing or nobody can ruin our friendship; not even you and me. It's never-ending, do you hear me?” he asked, his palms squishing my cheeks, and I nodded, blinking up at him.
• Time stretched on as we stayed in that position, neither of us willing to move or break the eye contact we were maintaining. Despite how good it felt to be together at that moment, I had a pressing question that needed an answer.
• “What are we going to do about—” My words were cut off as Hayden said something that made me freeze.
• “You're so beautiful, Lola. Absolutely breathtaking.” My mouth fell open as I heard that, and I struggled to close it. Hayden had complimented me several times over the course of our friendship, but something about this was different. I couldn't tell if it was because of how his voice seemed to drop as he said it, or if it was the intensity behind his gaze.
• “Forgive me, but I have to do this,” he whispered as he took my lips into his. I gasped into his mouth, my eyes wide as I debated on whether I should push him away or kiss him back.
• The latter option won, and I threw all caution into the wind as I wrapped my arms around his neck and melted into the kiss.